UPDATED: Dealing with my partner's anxiety. Just want to talk

[Belthizor]

Hi all, I'm new here, my name is Sheldon and basically I just want to talk to others about how to deal with my partner's anxiety. For the past couple of months, she has been having anxiety-related issues, but only very recently have these issues intensified. In the past two days we have been to the ED twice, Seen the Doctor twice and been to see her psychologist. The attacks are getting worse, and I am really worried for her. She has even been having suicidal thoughts. This of course worries me even more, but I feel that I have to stay strong for her sake. I love her very dearly and it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. She's crying, has involuntary hand movements, feeling nauseous and has even physically thrown up. She has recently been prescribed a benzodiazaprene and tomorrow we will be going to the doctors to review her current anti-depressant medication. I love her with all my heart and I don't ever want to lose her. While we are doing everything we can to address these issues, it's still hard - especially for me, and I would love someone to talk to who has been through this, or even just someone willing to bend an ear but not judge. This girl is my whole world and without her... I don't know what I'd do.

 Thanks for listening, I know I rambled on a bit, but I do that.

[Belthizor]

Hi Guys,

Just an update. My gf got herself off to the psychologist's on her own today and did quite well! Because her anxiety has been relatively minor of late, her psychologist wants her to now start pushing herself and placing herself into somewhat more stressful and anxiety causing situations (the only way she is going to be able to deal with these issues is to meet them head on rather than hide from them). Her psychologist also had an interesting theory. Because most of the anxiety my gf has had has centred around work/work for the dole, and because both her parents retired relatively early (owing to health reasons), her psychologist thinks that at least some of this anxiety could be coming from a lack of WORKING role models (i.e. employment-related role models if you understand my meaning).

In the car on the way home, my gf said to me that she experienced some parking-related anxiety today but was able to combat it by challenging her own thoughts (i.e. "What are you going on about, brain? Of COURSE you're going to get a park! Stop being so stupid!") and this worked. Granted it was only minor anxiety, but still it's better than nothing! Here's hoping she is able to apply the same techniques to other anxiety-related aspects of her life.

Anywho, that's all from me, I'll chat to y'all later!

Cheers!

[Graceeeeee]

Hey Sheldon!

That was an awesome update. I think the theory the psychologist has is quite interesting, it does make sense, the next step is to see how he/she wishes to lead your girlfriend to combat that. And yes I think it also makes sense that the psychologist suggests that she goes to places that cause more stress to her. I often find when I hide I don't feel that well, comfortable, sure, but when I go face them head on I have more energy and strength, and although it's a bit scary at times usually turns out that it's all worth it.

Thank you very much for your updates Sheldon!! Keep being who you are, a legend! And I have the best wishes for you and your girlfriend 🙂 Good evening to you!

With Love,

Grace xx

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear digit!

Thank you very much for your reply, I agree so much that 'life goes on and we grow stronger'. I had a minor depression relapse this afternoon, and I knew I have ways of managing and recovering, so I just kept trying, going to places, talking to people even though it felt hard, and I felt like I was covered with a cloud on my mind. But I kept trying anyways and now I am feeling much better. My anxiety and depression have co-relations with each other, one might trigger another, won't go in too deep.

And I really admire your courage and strength, sorry to hear that you haven't found a psychologist that you can for a deep relationship with yet, a psychologist you can confide your thoughts with is very important, and I hope the new psychologist you are going to meet on Tuesday can make you feel comfortable 🙂

I am learning not to see my anxiety as an enemy but just as a part of who I am, the GP said to me the other day 'anxiety is the flip side of creativity, it is a part of who you are, you just have to learn to manage it', and indeed it is a part of who I am, it's like a friend who can be a bit of a prick and annoying at times, but in the end we accept that and we learn to manage it and work with it, hope this makes sense 🙂

And I, and everyone here (if I may speak for them) is very very grateful to have you, like Paul says, you have so much to offer, and you are already lifting us up, by being strong and being here 🙂 So thank you digit! My love and thoughts are with you, hope you have a good evening 🙂

With Love,

Grace xx

[Belthizor]

Hi all,

A rather sombre and tired post tonight.

Today started out fairly OK, we went to the gym late morning/early afternoon then went to lunch and bought some treats (DVDs, and a book), then went home. The DVD my Gf picked was "Crimson Peak" and she started watching it when we got home. Unfortunately, a scene in the film triggered a panic attack which turned into... something else. Basically, she was lusting after Tom Hiddleston (who stars in the film) and she felte extremely guilty about lusting after someone who was not me - her bf. Even though I told her it was alright (he is a celebrity after all). This resulted in her leaving (I later found out she went to the gym) and actually breaking up with me. It was a combination of things that led to the break up. Naturally, this worried me immensely - I love this woman more than anything else in this world. Fortunately, when she came home we "talked" and after a while we sorted things out and are now back together again. I haven't really eaten much tonight. Just had no appetite. The dogs ended up stealing my dinner when I went out to the car in the driveway to talk to her, so aside from a few bites of my dinner all I've eaten tonight is a muesli bar (being late at night, I can't eat anything too heavy or I'll be up all night using the loo.

One thing is for certain though and that I love this woman more than anything! I don't want to lose her. Just thinking about it causes my insides to twist up into knots. I mentioned before about walking on eggshells, well tonight, I felt they broke.

 Anyway, just wanted to update you guys on the situation. As always, thanks for listening

- Sheldon

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear Sheldon!

Sorry to hear what you've gone through tonight, I think she really did fell guilty..if not only because of lusting Tom Hiddleston but because of being with you when she has anxiety. I understand how she feels, sometimes I feel bad that my family has hard feelings just because I'm going through a rough time. I'm not going to give you any advices Sheldon as I believe you are going to be back to normal soon and it's purely between you two 🙂 I can feel how much you love her and how scared you are to lose her. And I know what you are talking about "walking on eggshells", and I know why you feel it has broken tonight. Strangely... don't take this in an offensive way Sheldon, I feel kind of relieved for you, it's like one thing has finally seen to its end and you finally get to see what's inside of that eggshell, if you know what I mean. I think this will only make you closer, you've just been through a lot tonight so you may not agree with that, but I know there's a closer future between you too and I believe in you both 🙂 I am very grateful that you shared with us despite the rough time you've just had tonight, I hope you are feeling a little better now. Don't take my words in an offensive way, just a general observation is all. And know that I'm thinking about you both, you've come a long way and you are one of the most inspirational couples I know, you are always there for your partner Sheldon, and I can feel she brings you a great deal of joy two, you two are both awesome and deserve each other, hope you get a restful sleep tonight and start with a fresh new day tomorrow!! 🙂 Thinking of you both 🙂

With Love,

Grace xx

[Belthizor]

Hi Grace,

I think she was more feeling guilty about feeling something for someone else other than me.

Today has been better. Last night we watched the last of the movie, then she cried and admitted that she didn't want to lose me either. All this crap has been brewing for a while apparently and it all.just exploded forth with the aid of a catalyst (Tom Hiddleston).

I know what you mean by the eggshells breaking symbolising the end of something. In this case it was more a case of symbolising a new beginning. I acknowledged that I haven't exactly been the most attentive or the best boyfriend and will be making more of an effort to be a better me.

Neither of us got much sleep tonight, so hopefully tonight will be better.

Anyway, that's all from me for now, talk to you all later,

Sheldon

[Belthizor]

Oh, an addendum to my last post because I forgot to mention it - we have decided to give "Crimson Peak" to my gf's best friend. It has caused so much grief and my gf pretty much wants nothing to do with it. She couldn't even look at it to take it out of the player, let alone put it in its case and put it away. I could see by how uncomfortable she was that even just thinking about it caused her some distress.

Anyway, that's all from me,

Cheers,

Sheldon

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear Sheldon!

I'm glad she eventually let it all out, and I'm glad to here you guys both want to be with each other, and she giving the movie away is good, means an end to what happened last night. And hey, like everyone says, everyday is a new day! You guys are both very lucky to have each other and deserve each other too! Best wishes to you both, thank you very much for sharing and updating everyday! Looking forward to talking you soon 🙂

With Love,

Grace xx

[Belthizor]

Thanks Grace,

Things have been a lot better since Sunday. Yesterday, though, my GF DID experience some anxiety. It wasn't a huge amount, and we were able to surmise that the possible cause of this was because her medical certificate has run out and she is facing the prospect of Work For the Dole again. A lot of it, we agreed, was more than likely subconscious thinking.

Today my gf had her appointment with the psychiatrist, and that went really well. She liked him - he was friendly, didn't talk down to her, and seemed to know his stuff. I didn't go in to the actual appointment, but afterwards my gf told me how things went. Basically, she is to stay on her current anti depressants. If things get worse she CAN up the dosage (same with the benzoes, but she rarely, if ever, takes those), and failing that, then we'll look at changing her anti depressants. This seemed to satisfy her (as she was not looking forward to seeing the psychiatrist and possibly changing her meds).

Also today, we've had three "battles". What a "battle" basically is, is a game of "Uncle", so there's a lot of wrestling and hitting and stuff until one of us (usually me) yields and says "Uncle". Very fun and a great way to release pent up energy! Though afterwards we pretty much limped off to the shower - very amusing.

Anyway, that's all from me for now,

Hope you're all doing well and chat to you soon 🙂

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear Sheldon!!

Glad to hear that everything went well, your battles sound indeed interesting too, I'm so happy to see you guys back together again, and able to handle her anxiety with much maturity and calmness, what great skills you have! How are you doing today? I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Thinking of you both 🙂

With Love,

Grace xx