This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Lisa611]

Hope you're feeling ok Velvet. Enjoy your holiday Airies! 

[velvetfaerie]

I'm yet to feel an earthquake. Have had a few around here and nope. Not felt them!! 

Still sick. I think I am slowly on the mend. It is taking its time!!! 

My friends, good ones, delivered me a huge amount of fresh veggies. They asked if I needed anything and I said VEGGIES!  There are so many I am going to have to freeze what I can. They also brought pizza, ice cream and 0 alcohol beer. Doggo got a new blanket, collars and lead as well. We are very spoilt by these guys. Grateful. 

Guess I could have veggies for brekky hahaha.

[Airies]

Velvet I hope you recover quickly. Sounds like you have a good support crew. Pizza,ice cream and o alcohol beer. Well what  party we’d have. Maybe a good yarn anyway.A rather rude awakening this morning with the phone ringing. Upon answering Evacuate the building immediately. Well my wife said let’s go,feeling a bit sick and not knowing whether to upstairs or out on the street.We all gathered out on the lobby . 30 minutes later an explanation.Same thing a few hours later. Another false alarm. Still enjoying ourselves.You have to savour everyday. 

[velvetfaerie]

I know a few people in Bali at the moment. Parties are cool. Yarns are cool too!!

So the government agency who asked for my resume, sent me the link for the formal process asking for me to apply. Being government they need to follow due process. Given its a bunch of lawyers they really need to lead by example!

So I applied. I have a good feeling.

[Airies]

Good on you Velvet. Hope the process is quick and smooth.Keep us posted, pardon the pun

[quirkywords]

Aries

did you have go out in your pyjamas, was it a false fire alarm or something else. That would be annoying.

velvet

so pleased that you have applied and all the best .

I hope everyone is ok. 
is anyone else tired or is it just me.

[asdff]

I experienced an Earthquake in Bali. Lucky my Mother knew what it was.  I’ve been in another country and they have tsunamis. We heard a siren, a high pitched alarm. It turns out it was for the Fire Station that was nearby. 

I have been going to appointments, this disorder loves to keep you on your toes. We are a resilient bunch. I’m okay the mixed episode shook me around. Now ai know what they are, I don’t want another one. Now I know what to do and where to get help, I feel better prepared. We have sunshine here, it’s been a very long cold Winter. 

[Lisa611]

Waves to all...good luck with the application Velvet. Hope you are managing to relax Airies. Asdff a mixed episode sounds exhausting. Quirky I also feel tired. We celebrated book week today. The English faculty dressed up. We all looked good. We really made the effort and brought our costumes. I went as red riding hood. Am happy it's Friday 🙂

[Airies]

Hi folks, no Quirky I ran out in my jocks. At that hour of the morning it was bit of a frantic dash. Apparently people commented later to my wife how gutsy I was. I was stuffed for the rest of the day. This morning I crossed paths with a man who said here comes my worst nightmare. It bugged me for the rest of the day.

it’s taken me all week to feel comfortable to have a massage or foot reflexology, hoping it would help my tendon foot pain and apart from a little discomfort it helped. I’m doing exercises in the pool now, trying to get on top of this.

with excercise, proper diet and treatment it goes a long way in getting through each day.Hope everyone’s doing ok. It’s warm here but not overbearingly hot. I see the dogs here in Bali and think of my pooch back home. 

[asdff]

Airies that guy sounds like a pain in the bottom. You know you are a good person, as do we. I am so jealous of you, I love holidays. I let my passport expire during lockdowns.

Velvet, I hope you are well on the way to feeling better. We have had colds in this house that was gross. I am the last one to get it and five days later, I am mostly over it.

Lisa, I love dress ups. My kids had sports day during the week and Purple Day for LGBT support. 
Quirky, how are you?