This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Alannah did your doctor help you come off the meds? Sorry mate that sounds like a good thing. I’ve come off anti depressants before and that was terrible, horrible. I end up crying, depressed and the other stuff.

[wringer]

Hello Asdff and Alannah, my mood is ok today Alannah and thanks for asking.

My husband stopped taking his cholesterol medication he does all this Dr. google research and then believes he knows best. Me I am gutless I take my meds and I don't even google them. Today I woke with hand tremors and I was a bit anxious so I just followed my daily list and I'm doing ok.

I am not sure how long you guys have been diagnosed but I guess things get simpler as we become more familiar. Alannah do you have a person in your life who has your back on difficult days? I hope you feel a lot better soon and things calm down. Bye for now wringer

[white knight]

Hi wringer

I actually think Google has a place in our education providing the information obtained is received in a unbiased manner. That is to say, if someone is googling to obtain evidence or opinions that support NOT taking medication prescribed, then they will find it and sometimes cradle it as their "get out of jail free" card, to justify their anti medication stance.

But if someone is to search for the same and be balanced about it then they'll find much more evidence supporting taking the medication and the same with recommendations to attend your GP to change the dosage etc.

I do find google handy though but it should never trump professional opinion. Of course you know that.

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Hi Alannah

thanks for sharing your thoughts.
In 30 years I once with Drs permission went off medication for 6 weeks. I thought I was ok for 4 weeks and then became so depressed had to go back on

In first month I felt fine until one of my children in late teens said later I was irritable and not nice. Do you keep a diary of your moods to see if there is a pattern.
Do you have people who understand and can support you.

I am visiting grandchildren for a few days so am excited but also cautious not to say the wrong thing so am generally quiet.

wringer, I was in denial for many years then pressured into medication now I know for me I need it and am lucky to have no real side effects.

Tony, Some people google to justify their beliefs. I think we all read and use from google what we want to.

[asdff]

Quirky I am irritable and not nice on my medication.

Today has been a mess. We have an app to check in. In fact we have two. The one that stores your vaccine certificate was down today. Oh happy day! I needed it for a cup of tea in coffee shop with friends. Lucky I’ve stored in elsewhere on phone. Anyway I troubleshoot what you do if it’s not working. Delete app and reinstall. Except it wouldn’t work!!!!!!!!! Other child had second vaccine yesterday, oh the complaints this morning. I’m not going to school. Including the emotional blackmail You don’t love me because you are making me go to school. Yeah, fun times. It was just a sore spot on arm. Child went to school. Princess child was meant to have appointment this afternoon. Mum got the time wrong. Now we wait four weeks for another appointment. It’s been a day! It’s been a couple of years. All this, with the Covid Sh$t Show kicking off where I live.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

what a day you had yesterday. I wonder why if one thing doesn’t work then several other things follow suit. I hope you feel better.

I heard a three year old tell me about covid tests and tickling her nose and I thought how times have changed.

velvet how is life going .
Has anyone plans for the weekend.?

[velvetfaerie]

I am reading. I'm OK. I've been sick. Been swabbed. All ok.

Exposure at my gym. Gym refused to release days and times. I will no longer be scanning in. This is a combined effort in my opinion, not us plebs obeying when the ones doing the directing aren't obeying themselves.

Society and its hypocrisy. The upper echelons and their self serving hypocritical agendas.

I've been on the receiving end a bit the last 2 weeks and I'm over it.

Off to work I go. Waiting for the grilling. I'm negative. I proved it. Too bad.

One particular staff member thinks she's the boss. I'm telling her to get away from me today.

[wringer]

hello group so good to see you again, Asdff there is a parental book called 'Princess Bitchface' and it is about how daughters can be difficult. I think the author has now written a 'Prince Boofhead' male version. I should get that one cause my hubby is still is a boofhead! Our roller door broke and my idea was to use the roller door guy who does free quotes to determine what's wrong. But husband loves googling, because that way no other man will know he is clueless about roller doors. Now my husband has a badly injured foot as the online instructions left out some safety advice. The world news is particularly awful and the large baby man is being demanding. Bye

[Leisa68]

Hello all,

Oh no wringer, the DIY hubby. Should be banned legally and socially. I like the PSE (pay someone else system) to do things, all done quickly, quick bill, no fuss, no one hurt. Hope he gets over it. Asdff, I feel your pain a little, my son refuses to get jabbed due to the "lack of knowledge in the mëdication" He's 11. He reckons he will "take down the school"if they force him to get it. How kids get such ideas is beyond me, however, I did not have YouTube growing up. Good luck with it.

Today I had a battered fish lunch at the local club with two close friends and it was nice. I saw my psych yesterday and he has changed my anti-depressant, to curb my irritation, so let's see how that goes. I'm not sure what to expect. I have a visit to our local museum next Saturday to see the "City of Light" exhibition, followed by a lunch at a local pub with my women's club. A couple of friends are catching "The Ghan" train next week, it's very well out of my pay grade but would love to listen to their experiences. The train goes from Darwin to Adelaide.

It is raining heavily in this part of the world, I hope you are all comfy and calm.

Leisa

[Leisa68]

Hey all,

My psych wanted to admit me to the hospital over the change of meds yesterday. Of course, I said no. But I wanted to know if anyone here had experience in hospital (I know you have had dear Quirky) and what was it like?

Leisa