This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

I heard a radio segment about how the big companies are using vaping to make up for the people who give up smoking. Quite surprising.

Aries thanks for your kind words but I dont know about you but I was told wisdom comes with age. I now wonder how old I need to be till the wisdom kicks in. I keep making mistakes in relationships.

[Airies]

Following in your footsteps Quirky.Wisdom for me will be years away but I do have my moments. I’ve become so impulsive in my older years. Re relationships my wife deserves a gold medal.I did say to her I don’t thank you enough.

[quirkywords]

I find I pick partners who don’t understand but blame and I truly used to believe that having a mental illness would be so hard on them. So I needed to put up with their faults as they put up with .

I don’t think that anyway. I got married before many here were born or were babies.
Aries I think you and your wife make a great team. You would be very caring too.

back then one was ashamed of having mental problems as they were called. The fact someone wanted to marry me amazed everyone!!!

[Airies]

Quirky, as they say there’s someone out there for everyone. Thankyou we were just saying how we have managed to get on over the years.I used to be a very caring person but have become quite insular. Maybe it’s a survival thing.

Yes there was a stigma many years ago and to a certain degree still is. BB and this forum are a safe place.I think the extended family know I’m NQR and closer too know as well.

Quirky ,you would have been a prize catch and most likely still are

[asdff]

Wringer I am at the opposite end. I am so depressed that departing early is comforting to me. I am so sorry it’s distressing for you.

Lisa, I am worried about Covid in our community. Our numbers are ramping up.

Airies, as usual part of your post could have been written by me. This part. I’m in a constant state or irritation yet once never was.

[quirkywords]

I think many of us are irritated a lot. I find I am more irritated when I am high snd the older I get.
Aries I am very challenging . I think when you meet your partner in your 20s then spend the rest of your life together you grow with each other.

When you meet when you are old , you are set in your ways, but miss out on knowing each other when you were both younger and more energetic .

[Leisa68]

Hi all,

I have read reports of bipolar and mortality out there, and think it's wicked that people with bipolar have access to such information. I am not in the greatest place at the moment, but try to do things in my day that will help me feel better. Last night I went to a lecture on dance at my club, it was lovely, it was about colonial dancing. The professor giving the lecture actually teaches some colonial dancing and has a folk band playing music from around that time as well. As usual at these things, I overdosed on hors o'devers and even had a glass of champagne as well! I have been invited to a dance group which invites all persons interested to come and move with them or dance! It was explained to me that once we move in a certain way we have muscle memory. Sounds about right to me.

Today I saw the play "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf". It lasted three and a half hours, I almost made record time to get to the ladies (might have busted a few theatergoers on the way) Was good though. The past two days I have been busy which has stopped me from focusing on myself too much which has helped at this time.

Lisa congratulations on the seven weeks without cigarettes! Wow-what an achievement! Airies, I think a Ukelele sounds brilliant I laughed out loud when I read that! Thanks, Quirky for gently pointing out the report post button. Well, tomorrow it's back to Uni!

Leisa

[wringer]

Hello group it is always interesting to read your views. I read that the cigarette manufacturers are now doing hard marketing in African countries, the population is young with limited health knowledge, horrible industry.

Quirkywords you are a wonderful example of how manic depression is survivable, your gentle strength is great.

Asdff wow, I am glad if you don't hear the sirens calling 'like I do'. I wish you and all a long journey.

Leisa your life sounds vibrant it is so good to see your post.

To all others great to see you, bye

[Alannah57]

I feel really irritable and anxious right now, because I’ve been off my medications for months, and I’ve a all had some s ideation. Does anyone else find that when they’re not on mood stabilisers and antidepressants, that they’re much more irritable and anxious? I’m actually generally irritable throughout the day anyway at points, but not as anxious and jittery as when I’m off meds. Also you just want to not be here and are over it all. I feel like I might be headed for a mixed episode, or in the start of one actually. How are your moods right now?

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Leisa I have seen the movie of Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf , but never the play. I guess it would be confronting and rewarding as a play. I would not have lasted 3 1/2 hrs, well done.

Wringer, I like reading everyone’s posts because while we have things in common we have different perspectives . I always learn from everyone.