This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

My latest online purchase is a Ukulele. Pretty sexy in black, carbon fibre and comes with a whole lot of goodies and it’s new. I said to my better half , “ can I buy Something?….She said yes I don’t care. Guessing she’s resigned herself that this is my latest thing.
Do I know how to play? No… I’m guessing I can strum. I’ve said before we could start a group. Call ourselves The BBPs.. What do you reckon

[Lisa611]

Hi All...just catching up on all the posts. V am glad you are feeling less sad and are keeping yourself busy. Airies I had to laugh when I read that you brought a ukalele! Work has been busy. There has been some positive changes made. We still don't have a permanent principal. Guess what? I haven't had a cigarette in 7 weeks! I'm really happy that I'm not smoking. I've noticed an improvement with my mental health. My daughter and her husband lol have been in isolation. He got covid but only mild. We've had a few cases at school but I've managed to avoid it so far. Hope everyone is doing ok.

[Airies]

Lisa, yes it’s on its way and checking out YouTube tutorials so will keep you posted. Better still 7 weeks without a cigarette is huge. Congratulations, your appreciation of food , everything is so much better, not to mention benefits to your health and so on. I’ve relatives who between them worked out it was 25k a year that they were spending.

Great to see some positive changes taking place in the workplace. Sounds like no one’s rushing to put their hand up for the Principals job.

As a former smoker I’m so proud of you for giving the smokes away. In time if not already you will find the smell of smokers or being in their immediate vicinity quite repulsive,

cheers

[quirkywords]

Wringer,

do you mean that you read a bipolar mortality

post on this thread, forum in general , or another website.?

I worry too and worry when I don’t worry!!!

Lisa 7 weeks is great. A friend has app to sow how much he has saved and it has helped me for a few years.

Aries do you smell cigarette smoke a mi'e away.?

I never really smoked except when manic and I would smoke and drink at parties.

[wringer]

Quirkywords, on this thread on the 18th of Feb and to anyone who is sensitive, definitely do not go looking.

[quirkywords]

Wringer

thanks For letting me know.Having lived with bipolar for over 50 years probably longer that most reading have been alive , I do find 4 Hs help. I may have shared this before.

Health both physical and mental ,

Honesty to myself of and others,

Humour which has helped me through hard times,

Hope which I always have

Statistics are just that numbers, Thanks for your honesty and willingness to share.

Take care

[quirkywords]

This is a reminder for everyone.
if any post on the forum ever upsets you or You have concerns, there is up on the right hand side at top of post a report this post link you can press. You can and let the moderators know why the post concerns you. They will reply to you and address your concerns.

[Airies]

Quirky, the 4 Hs are beautiful. I’ve cut and pasted them as a reminder to me. Quirky i can spot a cigarette butt a mile away. Brother and Sister in law are into vaping.I often cop a smokestack full. Not a fan.

Wringer Quirky as always captures it so well. The moderators are quite good .

[white knight]

Hi wringer

I was nicknamed the "worrier" by a teacher at school. So I know all about worry and set about extinguishing it many years ago and have succeeded.

It's all in my thread here

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/worry-worry-worry

TonyWK

[white knight]

Hi Quirky,

Ever gone through an ordeal then years later someone else is going through it and it is clear as daylight that you know what they are going through and want to pass on your experience and remedy?

Some times, often actually, this happens here with myself but I dont like to think I'm coming across as arrogant, that passing on so much information can perceive that.

Anyway, I've known you many years now. From what I know about a "worrier" like yourself and Wringer and others is that - worriers-

• are genuine caring people because they worry they wont be as that would be displayed as uncaring
• that what you see is what you get
• are blatantly honest
• they worry so much about how they perform in front of other people, they end up srutinising all their bits of their own personality
• is counter productive, it works against your health
• No doubt worry would contribute to strokes and other health issues
• can irritate loved ones
• but loved ones can and usually do, have quirks that irritate us

So its important to remember a golden rule- to get it all in perspective.

Worry like many other forms of traits no matter the reason it has developed, is part of us and as long as we try to MINIMALISE it then we deserve to be accepted as ourselves by others and ourselves.

What I find annoying is when others criticise us for our traits when we try to rectify them. Effort should be enough satisfy. But alas, it isnt.

If we take an addiction like gambling. If a gambler is trying to rectify his problem by going to gamblers anonymous thats great, but if he also continues to gamble then the problem remains.

So in that analogy progress to become less of a worrier is crucial to everyone around us. To reduce it however is very difficult. As my thread (worry worry worry) depicts, it is non productive, only causes ulcers. To acknowledge that first step is important but to find remedies to lower your worry is ongoing and also crucial.

• talk to yourself "I wont worry about that"
• distraction
• An idle mind is open to worry
• relaxation methods
• crying might help bring worry to a peak
• Talk to others to empty the worry bucket
• a pet helps
• love yourself
• live in the moment not the future eg our mortality
• do things to create laughing
• as soon as you think about someone- ring them before worry arrives

TonyWK