This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

It's regurgitated stomach contents. Well, they have a 3 chambered stomach, as opposed to 4 which sheep, goats, cattle, etc have. So they launch ingesta from their mouths. Spit? Spittle? Saliva? Technically no.

Almost human again. You name the side effect I had it. I still have my pet mandarin sized enlarged lymph node. Axillary - armpit. It's gone down a but thank goodness.

Quiet day here on my own. Been too unwell all day.

Mixed feelings about the break up. Sad. Angry. Free. Sad. I probably just need a good sleep not interrupted by fevers.

V.

[Lisa611]

V having mixed emotions after a break up is completely normal. Be patient with yourself as you grieve the end of your relationship. You are going through an upheaval. Be kind to yourself as you make the transition. Surround yourself with supportive people. Vent on here as much as you like : )

[velvetfaerie]

We are being civil. He starts seeing a clinical psych in a few days. Oh to be a fly on the wall.

I have the dog. I have a job. Although work sometimes hasn't been fun, it's definitely supportive at the moment. I have a home. I have a handful of cool friends. I generally have my health lol. I have many things to be thankful for.

V

[quirkywords]

Velvet

That is good is seeing a psych . My ex partners and present partner would never ever agree to seeing a counsellor etc because it is all my problem not theirs.!

Hope you are improving soon.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

I am watching a replay of the seekers 50th reunion back in 2014. I was never cool because I preferred eskers and Simon and Garfunkel to heavy rock.

I also watched a program a few nights ago called Dementia choir, so sad and inspiring. I want to sing more but I have to sing all e or people complain.

How is everyone.?

[Leisa68]

Hi Quirky

I don't know much about the Seekers (except for a couple of songs), apparently, they are very popular overseas as well as here in Australia so the documentary should be interesting! I have seen the dementia choir as well, a very poignant show. I think you should sing as much as you like Quirky!

I had a friend give me a facial today, it was a lovely treat being treated with products that I could not afford. But lovely nonetheless. Maybe we could all do with one. Tonight will be a quiet one, with everyone milling about doing bits and pieces, but tommorow I am heading back to the pool for a swim, it's pretty humid up here, but not as hot as some people are experiencing. Food shopping surprised me yesterday with how slowly and sneakily the prices are going up in food. At least the shelves are looking fuller (except for the toilet paper).

Leisa

[asdff]

Leisa I noticed how the food prices went up. Especially meat. I think but I’m not sure it’s because some of the workers are out with Covid or perhaps the prices will stay up. Milk, tissues went up here. I’m sure I noticed other items I just can’t think of them off hand. We took our kids to the pool in the late afternoon the other day. I didn’t swim I was just spectating. It was peaceful watching people doing laps. I like swimming. I just didn’t feel like going in. Maybe when my kids are back at school?

Lisa, happy to hear the wedding went well. I always cry at weddings. Including my own:)

Velvet, good to hear things are going okay and it’s civil between you and the man thing.

Quirky, I like the Seekers but they are more my parents generation. A friend took her Mum to a concert. Maybe it was in 2014.

I can’t wait Till Monday, school is back. Hallelujah. School Holidays take it out of me. It’s straight back into Mum’s Taxi duties though. At least I don’t have to spread 24/7 with them though!

[Dani70]

Hi Leisa,

I overshare all the time and then I feel stupid and embarrassed! I have tried to not do it but have failed. I went for my usual blood tests last week and the poor woman knew my life story before I left. I'm sure I must come across crazy at times!! I don't leave the house very often Soi think that's partly why I talk so much.....it is encouraging to know others experience this too as awful as it is....

[quirkywords]

Dani welcome to this thread.
My dad overshared and I do too but much more when high

I used to get on a bus and before the journey ended I had either shared my life story or listen to a passengers life story. Something about me en our angers strangers to pour out their heart to me.

Asdff

I am possible as old as your parents or in that age range.

[Lisa611]

Hi All...I'm the opposite of an over sharer. I keep alot bottled up which isn't good. I'm not an overly talkative person. I sort of say what I have to and that's it. I can make idle chit chat but not for too long. I think it takes a while to get to know me. I haven't smoked for a month! One day at a time.