Thinking about death.... all the time...

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts

My new GP is amazing

He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution

Could he be right?

Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.

And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi lovely

Sorry I haven’t been around much. Sounds like things have been tough. Have you applied for ndis? I’ve been reading up on the legislation. It’s a complicated scheme. Great that so many people are finding support through it though.

Glad it sounds like you’re getting a bit of a team around you. Keep asking to have your needs met. You’re doing great.

Hugs from the west x Katy

[Matchy69]

I just wanted to pop in sleepy and say hi and hope you are getting good support around you.

[quirkywords]

sleepy

I too am popping in to say hello and to see how you are.

I am sad to read you are struggling.

I admire and notice your support for others online and your honesty about your health.

[Jstar49]

Hey Sleepy,

it’s been awhile, how ru going?

sounds like it’s been a bit rough lately. That’s probably good y’know. Means you’re not avoiding. And you’re getting so good at seeking out those supports for difficult times- well done!

Nice that Cheryl organising some fairy lights- just in time for Xmas maybe!

Im feeling angry, atm. Haven’t been on BB for awhile but writing on my thread helped me pin pint my feelings- bit of stuff being triggered here for me too. Oh well, another opportunity to work thru some of my crap! I just have to realise so I stay away from ppl for a bit. I feel like a bit of a loose cannon atm- mits go off at any second!
work is good. Ok at least. I’m managing. Other stuff sux tho.

I’ll talk more another day. Take care Sleepy

Hugs,

J*
ps you’re not old! I get the feeling too tho. Some days the wisdom part of aging doesn’t feel so flash. Other days are better. I can accept it ok mostly. Life is all about change I keep telling myself

Love

J*

[ecomama]

Dear Sleepy

How are you doing sweetheart?

Thankyou for popping in to my thread and being a sunshiny light to me at ALL times.

It sux when triggers are happening on top of each other then the support isn't right or there when needed most.
It's very sad.

Hold on through these times please! The amazing support you offer and gentleness you write with, is a gift you possess and clearly you are loved and admired here on the forums VERY MUCH.

I took out my Kristen Neff Work book the other night, I thought of you instantly and fell asleep reading it.

What are some things you do to help regulate yourself through these times?
I seem to zone out watching YouTube, channels like wood turning resin encapsulated colured pencils!

And furniture restoration (love those the best).

I found a new Channel called Lone Fox and he's GREAT! Using super cheap stuff from cheap shops (like pool noodles) and turning them in to amazing looking "sculptures". I would LOVE to make some of these for the boy's downstairs rooms. They look seriously classy!

I know you're an accomplished water colour artist now, maybe you'd like having a look at these things?

I made some papaya and pomegranate fruit salads this week and they were a treat!

Sending TONS of love and hugs
EMxxxx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi sleepy

Finally some warm days in the west. How is it over your way? I’ve been trying to get my backyard back under control after so long neglected. The back “lawn” is looking rather snakey!

Hope all’s well with you. Sending hugs x

[carer1]

i often think about it , it seems to be an option , but lately i feel like Im not getting better, I had non alcoholic fatty liver from rheumatoid arthritis meds but seemed to fix that , doc said Ill be fine , but the liver feels like its burning and i feel like its not quiet right . no gp appointments available for weeks , i cant just go n sit in the ER waiting room and I cant make phone calls ( other mental health issues ) i have no support system , there is just me and my autistic daughter.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Merry Christmas Sleepy. You haven’t been about, but just wanted to leave you good wishes if you popped by x

[Guest_1055]

Just virtually popping in, if you will have me Sleepy, well because I was thinking of you.

Bought you a basket of organic goodies for Christmas. Their is some bon bons in there too. Anyway Merry Christmas Sleepy

[Guest_1643]

Bit of a rough time, trying to get through, hi to Katy, Shelll, Jstar and EM and all reading..,,x