Hey Sleepy,
Wow I don't know why its taken me so long to catch up but I'm here now- thankyou for your earlier post saying you missed me being around, thats really sweet.
It sounds like things are really moving and changing for you- thats awesome! And also really challenging. Its no wonder you're having some challenging thoughts, perhaps as you work out your new paradigm, or frame for understanding the world.
Ok, so there was a bit in your last post. I picked up that you're feeling a bit alone, is that right? Which can be extra challenging when we're changing, or experiencing new things, like your first day at work for awhile (Yay! Go you!) and when we haven't quite found a good fit in some areas. You spoke of not finding a suitable art group ( I agree, totally not interested in creating 'pretty'!!!) And trying a new MH group. That really shows your strength and resilience, the fact that you continue to search, and try new things. Thats the only way you're going to find something that suits, so good on you! Of course, you may not find something that suits you, which will probably be more about funding guidelines than anything else, so do not dispair! You are not alone! You may just belong to a group of people that aren't in the funding spotlight at the moment. Especially with art therapy, these things are always changing, and totally dependent upon passionate ppl to access the funding (if available) and make it happen. My art group which i used to attend was very special- the 'teacher' did not charge for his time, as he recognised that the money factor creates a whole host of problems! And so it was a free art space, in a lovely partly outdoor environment, and totally unique. Saved my life I think. I only found out about it by buying art supplies at a local art supply shop, and asking.
families. Hmm. whole different box of dice. Or just another f word I think Em says lol 😉
Your words indicate a need for your parents approval, which I totally get. Its natural I think to want our parents to celebrate our achievements, and enjoy our presence. Just becos your folks don't show they care, doesn't mean they don't. I have had similar thoughts to you, about my parents enjoying my absence, being left with more time for my sibs. My mum recently thanked me for a phone call, in quite a heartfelt way, which has made me question that assumption.
Has your mum ever said anything to make you think she does care? I know your dad seems quite cold......
Talk soon,
HUGS
J*
