Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Your fur babies sound cute.. I like the names..Maggi,..Phoenix.. lol is Kaos like his/her implies..? I have 2 Maltese cross Yorkshire terriers.. Kya and Ebony...Its heartwarming to hear about people who adopt the rescue dogs..They probably drives you nuts at times, but I bet you love them all to the moon and back..

Tess, I can understand how anxious you are about your future, Ive been there and my heart really goes out to you. and I wish that I could be of more help to you...

Tess, please can you try as hard as you can to see your gp.asap.. You are so worth the extra strength you need to pull out of you, so you can manage a visit.. it's very important and your very important, once you see your gp and speak to him/her maybe your gp can help you with your anxiety .

Im just sitting here with you for a while, if that's okay..

kind thoughts and caring hugs,

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Kaos, yes it is like the kaos from Get Smart! She is little and very emotionally dependent on me and it suits her. I do love them. But am worried about being able to keep them when i move as i will be going to a much smaller development and three dogs could be a problem.

Yes i will try to get to the gp this week. I dont think the anxiety is going to settle until my situation starts to resolve and i can see something of a future. It is constantly on my mind.

I had another home open today and i am hopeful that i will sell today that will at least be something. Unfortunately the market here is very flat, so i will not be getting what i had hoped, but you buy and sell in the same market. So hopefully i will not end up homeless.

Thank you for checking in Grandy. I look for the support i get here very much

tess

[PamelaR]

Hiya Tess

Love the names Kaos (I remember Get Smart very well), Phoebe and Maggie. Great names. To have poodle crosses must be the best, they are so loyal and smart. Wonderful dogs Tess.

I know what you mean about insecurity about the future. My hubby and I live in a house we bought about 5 years ago. Our mortgage goes for 30 years (25 years left). What do you reckon, we in our mid 60s. We've been thinking about moving, though there isn't much we want to move to. We actually love where we are. Our neighbours are lovely, the environment is awesome, we have a creek below with a 'green corridor'.Though we are both stressed about how we'll make the month mortgage repayments once we're on the pension. A very bleak thought.

Doesn't help you much Tess. Other than you're not alone in your thoughts of the future.

Keep reaching out to us. We're here to listen and support you through those difficult days.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Tess2]

Hi am in my mid 60’s. Probably soon late 60’s. I can’t afford the mortgage on my home any more , hence the sale. But I am hoping that I will be able to buy something. I don’t mind smaller. ,just mortgage free. Then I shall try to get some work, part time to supplement my pension. I am scared as I have never had to be so careful about money. I had a very well paid job. But life has dealt me some terrible blows and along with all that I have to make adjustments. At least there are the two of you to manage together. It does help to know that there are others with similar issues . I know once I am in a new home a lot of my anxiety will settle. Thanks for sharing. Tess

[stormcloudz]

Tess, thanks so much for supporting Sarzy even when you are feeling anxious yourself.

[Tess2]

Thank you. I am very concerned for him.

today i am feeling super anxious. I am not sure what has brought it on but i feel very panicky. And alone. It is a sunny day here and i have loads of washing to hang out, but just cant muster myself and tomorrow is going to be wet. I am trying to be positive but cant get the better of my head.

[Ggrand]

Dearest Tess, I'm sorry your super anxious today, I don't think there has to be a reason for anxiety to start annoying us...If you get to anxious and panicky, it's good if you can try to do deep breathing excerises to bring your breathing back into a regular rhythm...

Its okay if you don't get to hang the clothes out today.. if you don't need them...tomorrow or the next day is okay to hang them....

Its hard to get the positive up and running, I'm sorry I'm answering a little late, but if I'm not in the mood to hang out my clothes, I'll take them to the clothes line a couple at a time, the most needed ones first, while I'm hanging the few I took out, I look around and listen, then I am pleased I hung a few sonill get a few more and inbetween I'm doing a bit of grounding by looking around and listening, in the end I end up hanging them all up, because my panicky feeling goes away, because I'm doing some mindfulness and grounding between clothes...

Your doing a really good job Tess, your stronger then you think...keep talking here.. we've got hold of your hands, we won't let you go...

Kind thoughts and caring hugs

Grandy

[stormcloudz]

That's such a sensible approach Grandy, I'm going to adopt it too. I always feel guilty for not doing *everything*, and whip myself along, but you are right, it's OK to adjust the tasks to our capability at the time. I'm learning this technique. Tess, are you the same as me with the guilt?

I also think there isn't necessarily a reason for anxiety to appear. In my case, it's usually some background thoughts that can be hard to drag out of the subconcious.

Tess, you're not alone.

PS thanks for the Get Smart memories. What other TV shows did you guys like?

[Tess2]

Thank you both.

good suggestions Grandy in the end i hung things indoors on the drying frame. That was enough effort.

Yes i go feel some guilt for not doing simple things, i also feel lazy and dont like that.

I like to watch british tv shows. Particularly police type dramas and all sorts really. The anxiety can indeed come out of nowhere but once it is there it takes ages to settle.

I really appreciate seeing these responses to my anxiety , i feel connected to life in a way i dont without it.

[stormcloudz]

Ah the drying frame - what a good idea.

I also like British TV - including police dramas, though I avoid anything too brutal. British comedy, docos, it's all good.