Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Tess2]

Thank you Amanda, I really appreciate you and Grandy responding to me. What I don’t get about these forums is what do you have to say to get responses from others? I really try to give support to others , but aside from you two lovely ladies no one responds. I thinks there are cliques here and I don’t understand why

tess

[Birdy77]

Hello Tess,

Sorry you're not feeling great about the forums at the moment.

I have felt that way at times as well, and know others have too.

It can help to keep in mind that every one of us here is dealing with mental health issues in one form or another and we are all doing the best we can at any given time.

I apologise to you that I've not yet acknowledged your post to me elsewhere about A.A. Milne ... I know it's been ages, and I am building up to returning to that thread . I am sorry if you felt ignored.

I've replied to you here on your thread in the past , and you've not replied to me at times. I have tried not to take it personally. I understand that sometimes life just gets the better of us.

A mental health forum can be a tricky place to be.

But i'm glad you're here, and I hope you can stick it out to feel connected.

Be well Tess.

🌻birdy

[Guest8901]

Hi Tess. I appreciate you too ... so thank you.

I'm sorry that I'm unable to respond to your question about the forums - lack of response, not receiving support from others and your suspicion of possible cliques. Hopefully BB managers can help you with that though.

I know you give support to others, as I have been one of the recipients of your lovely caring and thoughtful posts. I've noticed quite a few posts from you early this morning. I sense you're struggling right now, and that perhaps posting here and offering support to others helps you somewhat. It often helps me.

I do hope you dont become discouraged by a perceived lack of response from other members. It is not a reflection on you or your posts, as I have always found them to be well thought out, intelligent and helpful. I suspect its more a matter of that being "the norm" with any MH forum. Sometimes members are simply not up to posting or responding to posts. Everyone uses the forums differently. The majority of new posters dont hang around for too long. Some new members are probably satisfied with the response they have received, their question has been answered to their satisfaction, and they simply dont return.

We 'old timers' who hang about for a while and reach 100+ posts on our threads, end up in the Long Term Support (LTS) section where we lose visibility. You are probably aware that LTS threads are no longer visible in the New Threads listing? So unless someone browses or searches specifically through the LTS section, no new people to that thread will ever even see us.

But please dont let that stop you continuing to give and seek support Tess. We all get non-responses at times, and it can be very disheartening. Just remember that it happens to all of us, but that its not any reflection on you or me. When you do get those special responses occasionally it makes it all worthwhile. And that definitely happens too.

Would you like to tell me/us how things are going for you at present? You didnt say much earlier. I would welcome hearing back from you when you're ready.

Amanda 🌺🤗💕

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Tess2,

You posted on mine yesterday. Thank you so very much. You made my day.

I'm the same as you in that if it wasn't for Amanda and Grandy posting on mine, I'd be so lost. I too often wonder what am I doing wrong here..?. Can I offer my hand in friendship to you Tess2?

I am moving house this weekend so I will catch up on your thread when I can. I look forward to getting to know you Tess2...if that's ok that is.

Take good care.

Lee

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful ladies..

Im sorry Tess I have been a little long in visiting you..I read your post a couple of days ago and to be honest with you. I really don’t know why that is happening to you..and you as well Lee...You both give such heartfelt beautiful support to me, and I’ve seen you giving that beautiful support to others as well....I’m not sure why..but as Amanda has said please don’t stop giving out your care and support to others that are in need of your wonderful support....You really are helping others here..

I’m sorry you felt so low through your younger years that you felt no other way out..But I’m so happy that you failed in doing that..

Since that attempt you have become a nurse...That takes a huge amount of intelligence, patient and love..to become a nurse...you have one of the hardest jobs that their is...I could imagine that you are a very compassionate and care person it shows up in your posts...Thank you very much for being here for me when you’re able to..

..I hope with your new home and suburb, that you have nice neighbors and the people in your neighbourhood are friendly with you....

How are you feeling today Tess?....I really hope you are doing good, please when you feel up to it, I would love to know...how you’re feeling...

It’s so very cold here today..a bit like winter has decided itcwants more time before it sleeps until summer is over...

Love and hugs dear Tess..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Thank you Birdy,

i have taken on board what you have said and you are quite right. I didn’t expect a reply to the AA Milne comment, it was just an observation. I will stick around, as I do get support here and feel a connection to others. Seeing how others are dealing with their situations and feelings is helpful. Thank you

tess

[Tess2]

Thank you Lee,

ugh, moving. I did it four months ago and I am still not fully sorted and settled. I hope you will be happy in your new place.

your hand in friendship is welcome and I look forward to getting to know you when you are settled and have more time

tess

[Guest8901]

Hi Tess, I was very happy to read your response to Birdy that you plan to stick around, and that you do feel a connection to other members here. You didnt respond to my post to you here on Friday .. I really hope I did not say anything to offend you? If I ever do, please do not be backward in letting me know. Okay?

I have also noticed that you posted to quite a few other threads over the weekend ... some really lovely posts. So nice to see you getting around, and good on you for reaching out to others. Please know that it is appreciated by other members and BB management. Peer support and empathy is what makes these forums what they are, and you are a big part of that. I'm really happy to hear you say that you're finding the experiences of others here helpful in your own situation. As I know others are the same, by learning from you.

You still have not said much about whats happening with you currently. Any time you feel ready to talk about things, please know you can do so here, and be reassured that you will receive a sympathetic and understanding ear. And some helpful feedback in return.

Thank you for your reply on my thread yesterday. I cannot always do as people suggest, but I assure you that I do take all advice on board and appreciate that its given with my interest and safety in mind. 🌹🤗

I hope your upcoming week is a good one Tess. I will be thinking of you.

Amanda 💕

[Tess2]

Thank you for your lovely reply.

i am not feeling well today, a few posts ago I said that the ADs helped, but I had started getting lots of awful side effects and feeling very physically unwell with them. I stopped and now am much worse I am getting terrible brain zaps and feel like I am getting the flu. I know you are supposed to taper off and will go to my gp this week for help. I feel shocking.

i still really miss my home and the area I lived in for so long. The neighbours are nice here, but I don’t feel that I belong.

I am feeling very sad today.

tess

[Tess2]

Oh Mandy,

I understand that psychological and emotional abuse are much worse than physical, usually. I do accept that you are where you need to be. Your support to me means a lot.

I actually feel terrible at the moment and believe a lot is medication related . I just posted about that. It is really getting me down and making me inactive.

tess