Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[monkey_magic]

Hi mb20lover hope you're ok 😁. If not I found some things that will hopefully make U feel a bit better- 🍹

🌻🍫🍮🌼🍔💅🧚💐🌅🌈

🦄🍓🌭🥞🍟🍕🍰🍿

Hi Em,

I don't know what the specific thing wrong with my back is but after I had an x-ray the doc recommended cortisone ( ? ) injections. I had two of those ( could have had four) where they stick a long needle through to the nerve. Even that's risky and I'm scared to go again in case they stuff up.

I just want my back fixed. So if I can get surgery it might just give me a better quality of life. Yep, there's risks but I just might be willing to take them.

Honestly helping preventing someone from getting locked up is probably one of the best things I've ever done. The happiness on her face was so worth me being a little inconvenienced. I'd happily do it over and over again.

I think I have more of an understanding because of my own experiences being locked up in psych wards lol...I know the desperation of never wanting to go back in.

That's a hefty dental bill sheezus!! It's great you were able to discern the situation and will go elsewhere. I'd happily go under lol. I cried when too many needles went through my gums and I could hear the crunch. I'm very scared of dentists.

My mum can play the poker machines for 15 hrs straight. No joke. It stresses me because she puts a lot of her money through which is a problem. If she loses money she will go back the next day to try to win it back.
I just think she's a bit senile and doesn't realise how destructive what she's doing is. She always thinks she's going to win and isn't being realistic about gambling. Her ignorance is definitely not my bliss.
It also bothers me bcas my dad worked so hard for that money. She got a huge settlement after the divorce and I feel it was easy money given to her that she doesn't value enough because she didn't do the really hard work to earn it. I mean the plan for that money was for my brother's and I to have properties. I'm not saying she's spending all of that money but her losses could be used to help us out for example. She's spoilt. I don't think she really understands what a hard life is. She says it's her stress release, I just think it's selfishness. I'm not against having a gamble once in a while but sessions that last 10-15 hrs...are just a recipe for disaster. She needs a new hobby. I'm stressed just talking about it.

😡

[ecomama]

Hey monkey

I'm sorry you feel stressed out with your mum's gambling.

I hope you have clear boundaries in place that you won't enable her...

Just like any addiction, a person would have to REALLY WANT to give it up before there's much hope of them giving up.
Just sayin'.

There's always Gambler's Anonymous if she did. Still she'd have to want to abstain from it.
Doesn't sound like she wants to abstain at all.

Plus it's her money, so I'd shut that boundary down thinking about it tbh. It's strange she offered the money for you and your siblings to buy houses and then NOT give it to you straight away or put it in Trust.

How are you feeling about the other things?

Omg Alexa will pick up her car on Sunday monkey, IDK how many months (3 maybe?) that we've been sharing cars with her.
It cost $250 for a basic pre-purchase inspection and she chose to pay additional $100 to download the full electronic history of it (what the heck is that??).
The man called and said "It's the best car he's seen for a long while, buy it or I will!".
Nissan X-Trail and talked them down to $11k.

Apparently it has a MOON roof lol! Never heard of that before either.

It's white, so I'm glad she didn't get a black one because they're too hot here.

Finger's crossed all goes well.

Love EM

[startingnew]

Thank Monkey xo

Well done on getting all those exercises done. i havent done much strength training, i tend to do that as an everyday thing though rather then a specific exercise.

What happened to your back? what your gp is suspecting could be for things like arthritis. Those injections you mentioned are often used as an anti-inflammatory

[monkey_magic]

Hi Em, starting new & all,

Yeh, it's my mum's money now. When we were growing up my dad was paying off three units for me and my brothers but after the divorce everything was sold and split. My mum has never offered to help us with properties it was my dad who wanted us to have a head start in life. What's been offered or promised to me has been shattered a couple times now. Perhaps I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about where the money is going now compared to where it was going towards in the past.
I never mention it. I could? Past is past. It's just disappointing. She said to me I shouldn't have gone to the club. I didn't respond.

The car sounds great. Mine's also white with a moon roof, or ( sunroof). I will make sure I pay extra next time for a full inspection.

Hi startingnew,

Hurt my back at a job I had in the past that required a lot of bending. After a shift I told the manager I couldn't come in the next day but she practically begged me to and said we've all had sore backs. It was her small business, she was desperate, and had no one to replace me. I kept saying how much pain I was in and she said to rest that night and I'll feel better the next day. She practically wouldn't accept no for an answer. So I worked the next day and permanently injured it. I wish I was on the books, wish I was there longer because perhaps I could have been compensated for my lifelong injury but I quit that job and carried on. Always and still feeling like she isn't sorry. She said my face went white. She saw the exact moment it happened.

My life's been a real joke at times where I'm right, speak up a lot to then be overpowered and give in. Not anymore. Im really not taken seriously enough by some people. They just don't take me seriously.

The injections were to help with the pain.

I did a Zumba class at the gym at my own pace and within my capability. I did it. I got through it. And my new cossy arrived in the mail and fits!!! So, more swimming on the horizon.

It's really a challenge being so overweight and being at the gym or pools but I'm being courageous and turning up. I think I just don't want to be laughed at or talked about but then again that's life. I naturally want to hide but I'm facing myself. It's uncomfortable but I showed up to that class...Infront of people, and the instructor video- taped some of it for Facebook...cringe, lol.

I do have a whole other side to me though because I've been fit and in good shape for most of my life.

My duality is so contradictory and I can present two sides to the world, lol.

[monkey_magic]

After another stress attack, blow-up at me from my mum for not doing enough in the house I think I finally figured out the problem.

She's a perfectionist and I'm not. I'd rather enjoy my time where she's always strictly aiming for something to do in the house.

We clash.

She likes housework to be done straight away, I couldn't care less.

I jumped on my pH yet again and started looking for places to live. It always makes me feel better after I feel misunderstood or mistreated by her.

I can't stand her sometimes. I just wish she'd loosen up and realise she doesn't have to be strict. It's no fun!

With her words she makes out I do nothing when I do quite a bit. She undermines me.

Lately I've felt like the relationship is falling apart. She wears a shield. It's exhausting.

Moving out could be a possibility this year. Only staying to potentially save money.

[startingnew]

Oh thats not very good re your injury. I wish you couldve claimed that injury and got the right and better supports. Its thr worst when they arent even sorry and know its wrong.
Yeah I can understand that lifes been a real joke at times, mine seems to be like that too.
I also understand the challenges of being overweight. I never judge people by how they look though but I do always encourage people to be there best selves and to achieve their goals especially for wellness.


I dont have a very good relationship with my mother, I honestly dont think I could live with her after living apart for a few years now unless I really had to. We clas so much and since I mentioned mental health issues its like shes disowned me unless she needs something from me.

[monkey_magic]

Hey startingnew,

Yeah it's as if they have children so they can serve them. Pretty pointless when they show little care or interest in you or your life.

She left home without saying goodbye like she had the upper hand and I wrote her a truthful, straight to the point text message.

She thinks she's perfect but I let her know in text that she has been abusing me since I was a child and shame on her.

I like what you said about life being a joke. It feels like that for me. Like, is this a joke?

I didn't know that you moved out. What's it been like?

Yep, they're wrong and not even sorry...and repeat what they say and do over and over and over...the same old used up tiring cycle.

It makes her feel big to make me feel small.

You have a really positive attitude about encouraging ppl to be their best selves...

And achieving your goals for wellness is spot on.

Yeah I feel like I'd be disowned too if I don't do what she says...

But honestly my care factor is zero right now. All the abuse since I was a child flashed through my mind...do I care about what someone with those destructive abilities thinks. Nup, not at all.

Our fight today started when she walked passed me and said I feel like hitting U with this over the head. I snapped bac iiwhy don't U hit yourself withith it

[monkey_magic]

Hi all,

I'm on struggle street.

I think my bad tooth is giving me a headache and making me feel unwell.

I've had to drop my 4wd at the mechanic walk to the bus stop with a sore back and nerve pain in my feet then catch a train and do more walking again. It also doesn't help that I still feel internally sedated.

Now I'm sitting in air- cond and dreading having to make the trip back. But I have to do it.

And now I've booked a dental appointment and dreading that also.

I used to be as fit as a fiddle before psychiatry.

I still feel my receptors in my brain blocked and I still don't feel the same. I'm off all meds.

I had a thought to see another psychologist to talk about sueing the psychiatrist...I don't know... should probably just leave it...but it isn't fair.

[Guest_1055]

Hi MM, I am sorry you are struggling. You seem to get back up pretty quick like.

I hear you about your pain in your tooth and headache. Just went through that all myself recently. It was so painful.

I am not sure if your dentist will prescribe antibiotics for you. They might. I ended up taking some and pain was so much less. So anyway you may have an infected tooth or infection.

I also did mouth oil pulling with coconut oil, essential peppermint oil and clove oil, which helped me a lot. Very soothing. And also massaged my jaw, cheek and head with coconut oil, peppermint and lavender oil. It helped me so much. I am not sure if you are into that sort of thing MM

[monkey_magic]

Hey Shell and all

I know what U went through bcas I had an infected tooth that was pulled out last yr and I was on two sets of antibiotics. The pain was unbearable. It kept me up at night. I endured the pain for about two weeks.

Unfortunately the decay was also on the tooth next to it which has a hole and I'm getting a dull pain from that. I'm seeing the dentist next week.

The doc has given me anti- inflammatorys for my back. Perhaps I'll have a better quality of life if I treat my symptoms.

I am into all the natural things that U do but this tooth isn't unbearable like the other one was. I tend to just bear it.

I have to keep focusing on the good in my life and keep exerting my energy into the things I can still do. If I dwell on my problems I will be and stay in a depressed hole.

I do think of what I can't do that I used to love like running but I'm better off focusing on what I can still do like swimming and certain weights at the gym.

Life is changeable. It keeps changing and it shows growth when we can adapt to those changes.

I don't think it's good to indulge in depression for longer than necessary. You have to eventually accept where you're at and accept the changes in your life.

I could honestly just feed my depression, go on disability support like the psychiatrist recommended and stay at home. But Ive chosen a different path. A more fulfilling path. Even just answering ppls qtns about where buses were at the bus stop was a good thing to do. I was serving others. When we take the focus off ourselves & serve others I think it makes us smile.

Honestly the key to untangling my web of deceitful depression was to do things. To take time to swim, maintain employment, see a psychologist, focus on glass half full, praise myself for things I'd done, reward myself with a manicure/ pedicure for eg. And to serve others. Also to observe the world around me to put things into perspective. For eg I saw someone in a wheelchair with no legs today. I am still lucky.