Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[golden82]

Hi MM,

Nice to see you back here 🙂 Like EM said, I was also thinking about you and wondering where you were? Hoping you were/are okay. You are a much loved bb member and we notice when you're not about the place. You write very well, so raw and descriptive. It brings tears. I am sorry for your pain. I have been through similar - even after over 20 years, it is still with me. It never goes away. It does for others around me - but not for me. I am starting to see this as a strength though. And within you too. Your caring nature, your deep love. That is a strength about you and no-one can ever take that away from you. That is just part of how you are wired. They are not. Stay strong MM.

I agree with everything you say re lockdowns and the way of the world and Australia for 18mo. MH has gone ignored. And you are right absolutely right re freedom of speech. I am afraid to speak how I am suffering and what I feel because I get shot down in flames and lectured about doing all this for everyone. Well, it is making my life infinity times worse. And I know I am not alone in this - but we are all too scared to speak up. I wish we had a voice and were heard. There have been so many suicides due to this - inc the Home and Away actor - beautiful man inside and out. It is tragic. But ppl like him and us suffer through this lockdown in isolation. I really feel the MH org such as BB etc should speak up to the states and give them the data on the ground of ppl like us. But everyone is silent. Crickets. We have a thread in depression started by Tangney over a year ago about our lockdown troubles and struggles. If u like to read/write to see there are a few of us feeling this way - or at least brave enough to stick our necks out to say how we feel. As u have done here. Proud of you MM.

As you can see you have lots of friends that care about you here. Take care MM, from Golden x

[golden82]

hi MM,

I replied ages ago and it is still not up here - just letting you know thinking of you. Hope it comes up soon for you. Take care x

[monkey_magic]

Hi Golden,

Yes, things just feel very wrong atm. On tv, in society, in my life...some things have come to the surface and to light recently & it's putting me in a pretty dark place. My weight loss journey is going the reverse way...life needs to open up again so we can regain our sanity. It's doom and gloom 😤

[ecomama]

Dearest monkey

Yes, aha I hear you and many others here do too.
So many things we are afraid to express! As golden said, for fear of being shot down.

THIS TIME is making us soul search, dig deep, absolutely reflect! Find the essence of WHO we really are as individuals and WHAT is vitally important to each of us.

Connection is paramount right now.
We are hard wired for connection.

But those of us whose essence is saying "this is wrong" are staying silent, feel a disconnect. We can SEE what's happening and then the question is "Why can't everyone else SEE what's happening?"

This time is pushing us back in to ourselves. We feel the loss and grief of our own pasts even deeper, if we thought that was even possible, because we are sad. Our sadness is connecting to the sadnesses of our losses.

I want to believe that our babies and our lost siblings are playing together in heaven as the beautiful Angels they are. Too good for this evil world. As we are together on Earth as sisters. I Pray they are together in heaven as siblings, far happier than us!

Your words of loss and grief over your baby have brought us all out of the woodwork to support you in our shared grief and empathy for your incredible loss.
See how your words CREATE?

You have created a Circle of Mothers all grieving for their lost babies.
And more.
A Circle of Strength also.

I don't want to go all out Christian on you! lol!
But I will say that The Full Armour of God Prayer is powerful!
As you make a stand against the evil one, stand strong in the Full Armour of God.
Not that we are God lol.... that we can HAVE pure God protection.

Protect then cleanse.

I love what Grandy said, gosh I love what everyone has said to you.
Feel the LOVE we all have for you.

Bbl
Love EMxxxx

[monkey_magic]

Big love Eco, Golden, Grandy, Sleepy, all...

Oh yeh at times I am all Christian, it's been said you're a Christian girl...and I've recently felt God's presence strongly. So, I'm with you.

I do get shot down, by my own mother...

My angel child is sure to be in a much better place.

This world is a place I'd rather get away from right now...

Like Shell has said many times, I want to go home ( to God/heaven). Victims of abuse must acknowledge they're being abused. Even if it's by their own mother. Spouse, whoever....

Sometimes it's on a small scale, other times a mammoth scale....

[Guest_1643]

big love to u to mm.

ive been thinking just recently as my mind was wandering how sad it is as a society that we make excuses for abuse and call it other things

"He was just stressed"
"She didnt mean it"

"that's just the way he talks" etc etc etc etc i wish we called things what they are. Agree with ur powerful statement that victims need to acknowledge abuse and call it out. Hard to do. Painful. But hopefully healing in the end.

[monkey_magic]

Yep, agree about being realistic about abuse & calling it out.

Geez, now I've been close covid contact & have to isolate & get tested. I'm apparently going to be cared for in hotel quarantine. I'm feeling unwell, will let you all know my results. I've honestly never been scared of covid & recently spent 10 days in hospital where there were patients unmasked and we were in close contact with each other. See how I go.

[demonblaster]

Hey Magic 🐒 and everyone ☺

Dear love I'm very sorry hearing of the terribly sad loss you endure of your dear bubba. Warmth and love in gentle hugs 🤗 darlin. The words were very powerful.

Caught up reading. Good hearing your Mums been a bit easier on you. I hope that continues. Sigh not right is it though.

Warrior keep that fire burning darls and don't let the pain get on top of you again sweetheart. You know now you can pull up but how incredibly hard it is to.

Your brave strong very resilient and have a strong survival streak in you that'll keep that fire alive. Just sometimes sweety we have to nurture and stoke it.

Remember the goods as often as you can.

Remember the battles you've overcome to be here now.

You deserve peace and a good life. You've worked towards it.

I know the lockdowns would be caging your free spirit lovely. I hold faith in the brilliant minds to if not find a cure to be able to keep it at bay then life will continue and we'll rebuild. You'll I believe have your freedom to move again.

Thanks hun please do let us know how you go with your tests.

Always your friend darlin. Sending love care and support.

Love Aunty Bunny 🐇🐒💗🌞

[Guest_1055]

Are you feeling any better MM?

[monkey_magic]

You were an angel sent to me

Unfortunately I'm left with grief

You visit occasionally

I'm being reminded vividly

An earth angel with heavenly forces

I thankyou for helping me get through many loses

You touch me in the spiritual realm

On Earth

Our maker is giving you permission

To be at peace

It's your decision

It was short

And it was sweet

And again we will meet

You know what is happening

Up above

And down below

I forgive you

Now let's grow