Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[monkey_magic]

I got free legal advice today at the shopping centre. There was a lawyer in a booth and I approached him and told him my story.

He was one of the best listeners I've ever spoken to in my life.

If I'm going to persue this I'm going to have to be 100% about it.

He said it will be a long process.

It's a tough one.

[blondguy]

Hey Magic

I think Shell mentioned Clove Oil

In the chemists its labelled as Oil of Cloves and will help with toothache.....just dont get any on your tongue as you will have a numb tongue! This is strong stuff

I hope you are doing okay Magic 🙂

Paul

[monkey_magic]

Hi Paul,

Prob getting the bugger tooth out on Monday. Thanks for the suggestion. Have some of that in the cupboard I think.

Yeah I'm ok, how are you?

These days I'm either at home, work, pools, gym, shopping centre.

Been getting my nails done recently as a "spoil myself" and lifting weights again. Life seems to only derail me these days on occassion.

[startingnew]

Hi MM

im sorry i havent been here, im struggling quite abit and i want to actually reply to you properly. i will try later tonight to answer your question and to catch up on your news

[Guest_1055]

Hi MM,

How did you go with your tooth, are you okay?

[monkey_magic]

Hey SN, Shell,all,

SN no worries. If you're going through a lot yourself then focus on you and what helps to make things better.

Shell, I read you are going to Tafe, well done. Tafe changed my life back in the day. Have some fond memories of that chapter in my life.

The outcome of my tooth was better than I thought. Only needed a filling and not an extraction so I'm happy about that. But I'm not happy about the painful needles through my gums. I feel I could have done without the numbing. The drilling was a bit painful but I got through it all.

I also have my car back, again. Apparently the drain pipes from the sunroof were blocked and not connected which is why water was leaking inside the car when it rained. I payed $300 and the problem is supposed to be fixed now.

So far I've spent $1700 extra for a car that apparently had " no issue at all".

I've been really good. Doing weight sessions at the gym every 3rd or 4th day and swimming a couple times a week. I'm waiting for more swimming costumes to arrive in the mail. Also waiting for 4 work tops.

I need to invest in a tent, mattress and other camping gear. My job keeper is decreased end of March and I plan on working a lot more while staying at a caravan park to decrease the commute. I'm looking 4ward to it.

Also going to save for a trip interstate. Will be exploring beaches and rainforests, perhaps some fishing etc. Hoping to do this in March. Craving a Rd trip. And I think my 4wd is now good to go.

Things have improved at home, again. This other side comes out of my mum every month or so and it's a nightmare, then she calms down. It makes things so uncomfortable and I just don't want to be around her and her issues. It's not good for me, at all.

A financial windfall would be great. But looks like I'm going to have to put work hrs in to make things happen.

[monkey_magic]

I'm educating myself on narcissistic abuse. My brain is going back in time and I'm upset.

I now feel disillusioned. I know my childhood wasn't healthy but at a stage in my adulthood I thought I was lucky to have the parents I have but how wrong was I. Narcissistic people are good to you until they suck you in and then the subtle abuse starts. I am aware my self esteem has been effected.

Not again.

I thought I was in a safe haven at home but I'm not.

I could understand this YouTube video I watched to a T and that's sad. It's sad having such an uphappy life.

I also learnt more about my mother and how she is a damaged little child. She's cognitively impaired.

I'm also angry...angry that I've been subtly abused by the person who should love me the most.

Well, I've seen the light.

It's also depressing knowing the truth. But in saying that she's put me on an emotional rollercoaster for a long time now...

Plan...to be gentle with myself... acknowledge my reality and get the hell out of here...the less I'm here the better.

Plus, know my worth.

Love myself and nurture my self esteem...give myself back what was stolen.

Also, untangle the web and not be influenced by her.

Eliminate her words from my head.

What a disgraceful life.

I'll bounce back, I always do.

[Croix]

Dear MM~

We know your worth, and it is something I am certain you are getting to know too.

There have been times when you have had kind words over your mother, which leads me to think she may not not be all one type of character, but a mix - as are many of us.

You do bounce back, that's a given, and with your strong personalty I doubt you are in much danger at home.

Croix

[monkey_magic]

Thanks for your strength and common sense Croix. You're on the ball I believe because of your street smarts and I'm sure you know that about me.

Yes, she's a mix. Which is why I get confused.

I'm in emotional danger if my exposure is a lot. But I have breaks from the house. I believe the more I'm here the worse it can get. It's a cycle. My selfish need is to enhance myself and life and not be subject to negativity.

My financial need is to stay home to be better off.

But I'm in the process of planning for a trip and spending half the week starting April living at a caravan park so all good in the hood.

Our problems stem from me being pretty relaxed at home and her cleaning and doing things around the house a lot ( touch of OCD) and expecting me to as well at times. Then she'll stay quiet, then she'll lash out, then she'll undermine my efforts, then she'll think she can control me.

I do have a strong personality.

But I'm also human.

She's been really quiet today and I was laughing and making fun of the way she's been. She didn't say anything.

Tomorrow we r going to the beach together and will prob have a pretty decent time.

Negativity can rub off and I catch myself doing wat she wants from time to time to keep the peace.

But I do get sick of things and uncomfortable.

My best course of action is to find my independence again away from unhealthy characters.

[monkey_magic]

Hi all,

Life's been beautiful and challenging recently.

Challenging because the doc weaned me off the hormone tablets and my woman's problems have come back with a vengeance. A whole week and continuing of pain,and cramping...

Now a 5 yr contraceptive has been offered thats supposed to stop everything.

I spent a night with an old friend and we had the best time. We laughed and talked for hrs and I'm feeling something for him. I hope we get to spend more time together so I can explore this further.

Things on the home front have settled down and I bought my house ( tent) just recently and waiting for it to arrive. Planning on sleeping in it while staying at the caravan park and while hopefully traveling end of March.

Been swimming and gyming which is making me feel brighter.

A friend of mine put me in a compromising situation which I briefly spoke about on the BB cafe and I've decided to distance myself from him and his family. His daughter was on house arrest which he failed to tell me and I drove everyone to a restaurant and back.
I was having images of the police coming to my door and everything. A good friend would not put me in a situation like that, blindly.

I miss my friend I spent laughing and talking to. I really love spending time with him. I feel all warm n fuzzy inside lol. I want to see him again.

I have work this afternoon. Hopefully it goes by quickly.