Should I just suck this up?

monkey_magic · ‎07-09-2017

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

Peppermintbach · ‎11-11-2017

Hi monkey_magic,

I am so sorry for all that you’re going through...this is rough...

I just wanted to say that I hear you and your pain, and how I wish things were better for you.

Pepper xoxo

monkey_magic · ‎11-11-2017

Thanks babe ( hope you don't mind me calling you that). I've complied because what's to come if I didn't comply is even worse but right now I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. I even feel better with my decision to stop. I don't feel better about the next steps they will want to take. I am all for " human rights" and I believe it's my human right to stop. If my freedom is still taken away I will always have my voice and I won't shut up to them. I will go on and on and on.....it is appauling what they are doing. I disagree. They are a powerful mob. It costs money and time to get lawyers and fight in court. Why should I put so much in when they messed up. When I was pre-judged!

Croix · ‎11-11-2017

Dear MM~

I've been watching your struggle and really feel for how you are at the moment. It is a horrible position to be in.

You've said what will happen if you don't at least appear to comply with the order: warning/police /forced injections. I'm worried in a few weeks you may be in a worse, closely supervised position, with even the latitude you have now reduced. I think for you any amount of freedom - no matter how small - means a very great deal.

You did say at one stage you had found a professional who would disagree with the order. Even if that person is not available to go to bat for you there are bound to be others. I know if you took time to find one it would mean you would feel like sh*t in the meantime, however from a practical point of view maybe it is worth the extra grief to get things straightened.

Do you think it is worth trying that tactic again?

Croix

monkey_magic · ‎11-11-2017

The professional my family had in mind isn't available to see until next year. I spoke to a psychologist today who told me all about the mental health monster ( his words)...but yes, you are right. My best option would be to get that letter from a psychiatrist to say I'm normal ( psychologist also said this would be hard to get) and this psychologist is so knowledgable, taught me so much in 2 hrs.

Croix more than shit is how I feel, being on what I'm on has felt impossible last few days. You are correct though. The letter should be my next step, case manager and assigned psychiatrist also said this...its hard for me being medicated ( I'm sure I'm on something different or am more in tune with effects than others) because I really don't understand exercising while medicated...while fatigued to work together. I felt like someone was holding my legs. A medicated friend described it as having 100kg on you. Right now instead of being out I've opted for home as I'm fatigued.

Thankyou for listening, understanding and supporting me Croix, it's all heartfelt and life changing.

Croix · ‎11-11-2017

Dear MM~

I do understand, and also understand that society and the medical machine does not work properly, not good at all.

You do see things clearly, and your battle is with symptoms and feelings, not with having no sense of direction or not knowing what is sensible. You are also pretty tough.

As for feeling more than sh*t, I could not express anything stronger in mixed company, now could I 🙂

Croix

monkey_magic · ‎12-11-2017

Yes u are right Croix. To me it's a disempowering feeling. To have the wrong label slapped on, the wrong medication injected in when I know full well all I need is a good boxing class and hug to sort out how I feel.

I hope you are feeling better within. I did read that thread you had ( sheep) but you had so many responders I thought yeah you've got tonnes of support. A reflection of how much you give. I'm sure you've had to be tough at times on your journey through life. It couldn't have been easy at all. Anyone that developed PTSD has had a hard knock or two. I'm happy you've also had love on your journey, I've had lots as well ( a good balance). Love is the best.

monkey_magic · ‎12-11-2017

You are amazing Croix, you really are 🙂

Peppermintbach · ‎13-11-2017

Hi monkey_magic,

Thanks..all good, you can call me that 🙂 You didn’t have to ask but it was very nice that you did.

I’m glad Croix has been here offering insight so sensitively to you. His words unsurprisingly struck a chord with you and I don’t think that I could have worded it any better than he did. So there’s little more that I can have add 🙂

Hopefully, over time, circumstances will change and you will feel more empowered and more like “you.”

Pepper xoxo

monkey_magic · ‎15-11-2017

Just had another injection. This one lasts a month...I shouldn't have taken it as I'm now reading the list of side effects and don't want to experience them but now I don't have a choice for a month....too late it's in me now...the psychiatrist says it will give me energy,I think he just lied to me because of the list of side effects I have just read...it is a very long list including depression, fatigue, sleepiness and many other worrying side effects...I'm in tears

Croix · ‎15-11-2017

Dear MM~

OK in life there are some things we can't do much about. I'm not sure reading about all the side-effects will do anything much except make you feel frightened and not-in-control. If you get a bad reaction - then knowing you - you will deal with it. You have coped with worse.

I used to look up my meds in MIMS every time I got a new one. The publishers listed every possible side-effect. This included the actual problems they were supposed to fix. I have a feeling they do this for legal reasons, so they cannot be accused of failing to warn people and being sued as a result.

Yes meds do have side effects, but you need something light or entertaining to distract you, not more heavy serious stuff. Maybe something you can do to make you feel good about yourself. Any suggestions?

Croix