Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[monkey_magic]

Hey Simona!!!

I believe it is in you too!!! Keep the faith. I read that you lost that kg but you're still fighting. It's hard I know, change always is.

On the meds I used to see things, think stress can also bring it on, but you're brave, because you are still here. There is life and light in you girl, you've had so many challenges and you' re still alive wanting to make changes. I admire your bravery & openness! I like reading your posts too.

I think my message is to not give up and that all things are possible. When we put effort in we achieve results small and great.

[monkey_magic]

Just an update;

Really not feeling well on the meds. Been fatigued. I even leave what I'm doing because of how I feel so in my mind I'm being stopped from living. Tried booking in with a psychiatrist to get that letter but he's booked out until next year so my hunt continues.

I'm thinking about just saying to the case manager I need to stop the injections because they make me sick/ill.

This is crappy feeling crappy. I think about what I'm going through a lot as well so now think I need to stop thinking about it. I instinctively do not want to take theses meds anymore and feel my natural body again. I miss that.

[Simona]

Aww I feel really sorry for you Monkey. Yes you should tell your case manager. Maybe she could make a note of that and fax it to the psych and say look this is urgent. My client's quality of life is in jeopardy.

I can't remember how my medication used to make me feel but it just didn't work for me. I hate all medication except the 1 that saved my life.

I too prefer myself as God made me. When partner orders me to take the emergency/fast acting antipsychotic I tell him NO. That poison is not passing my lips.

[monkey_magic]

I totally agree, being medicated is harder than I thought. I keep thinking about how I feel and in turn don't do much because of how I feel. My life really isn't the same.

[Peppermintbach]

Hey monkey_magic,

You seem like you’re struggling...maybe a bit lost and just want to feel like “you” again.

Caring thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

[monkey_magic]

Yes pepper, that's exactly what I want, to feel like me again, absolutely and to be able to do everything without a setback. I feel meds r holding me back. Others will disagree but that's how I feel.

Thankyou for your support, I also hope you feel more like you again soon also 🙂

Cheers to feeling more alive, even if only in our dreams or imagination for now- something to aim for.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi monkey_magic,

You have such a passionate spirit of survival and determination.

Thank you, I hope so too...

Hopefully you will start feeling more like yourself soon too. It must be hard feeling as you do now...

Pepper xoxo

[monkey_magic]

" When life gives you lemons; you make lemonaide".

I can only squish something good out of my adversary, it's the only point to it, even if it feels so bad.

[monkey_magic]

I have made up my mind. I am ceasing medication on the CTO ( community treatment order) I'm having side effects I shouldn't be having and can't live with the other side effects ( walking fatigued is not my idea of a life). I asked the case manager what will happen if I stop, she said I'll get a warning, then mental health will be involved, then police will come to the house to take me to get the injection.

So, to me it seems if you are having adverse side effects doesn't make much difference to them. Well, I'm stopping because I'm scared, crying and can't live like this.

[monkey_magic]

I understand and respect medication is good and life changing for some people on here, just not for me.