relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

so when i was a teenager ....( got you post will comment after this quick story )

I used to go sit in my dads car at night ...would get home from school and have something to eat and then get in the car ....would listen to music and smoke ...i would stay out there most of the night ...sometimes mum would come and get me ....i wanted to escape everything ...i loved that time to myself alone ....the music the cigs ...i think i used to just reset myself .... anyway ....i find writing to you has me focused ..we are getting stuff out ...writing is such a good way to express ..

[awrinkle_in_time]

your stories are good ....you surprise me ..its amazing what you have done ...

Hows the word paddywagon ....say it 8 times , count on your fingers ....i bet you laugh ...

glad you made it through those times ...Lovely ...another compliment just for you ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Night ...

Enjoy you bed ...

I love fresh sheets and a new pillow ...

xxx

[monkey_magic]

I feel like I've had a lot of obstacles...I think I still do have obstacles, but they are there to climb over...paddy wagon x8...I laughed... Funny thing is I dream of being back in a paddywagon...it's a lot of fun being thrown around a bit...sorry if I'm overwhelming u more...with all my writing...sad when I think of that time in my life ( homelessness) that I actually had to go through that...I've cried with u and all those babies in the world- trust me I know tears very well x

[awrinkle_in_time]

I feel sad that you had to go through that as well , how long were you homeless ...

[monkey_magic]

That all means so much to me u have no idea x

True some ppl go through hell and no one knows...

Compliment-U'd make a good councillor.

Wow u r helping me grow...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Im not sure if i can be overwhelmed much more ... happy face ...

lots happening in me ... its good ...sort of happy face ..

obstacles to climb ... Exercise ... When you drift off to sleep tonight ...

Take your body into space ...imagine travelling through space with lots of stars passing you by ... your travelling quite fast ... Start by being seeing darkness then try to see the stars... then start to move forward ... slow at first , then faster ....try to see it so clear , more clear ... just the black of space and the light from the stars ....your body will be flying through space ... you will be free ....

(thats if you want to 🙂 xoxo

I will do it as well ...

Good Night

[awrinkle_in_time]

Just a quick question ...

Do you feel like you are filled with love ... Im just radiating it ....

it a funny thing to say on a forum which anyone can read ... But when your full of love you don't care ...

[monkey_magic]

I wrote a lot, then deleted it...it was good to get it off my chest but if I say those dark times of my life in detail everyone knows...I don't think I should spill my guts with it all...

Haha, can we be funny again

[monkey_magic]

Deep breaths....I'm thinking all sorts of things....

7 sharks

8 paddywagons

How about the sharks go into the paddywagons and then the waters will be safer....

Thanks for fighting those sharks off at the bottom of the ocean

The paddywagons r full and the world is a lot safer....