relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya Monkey , Hope you had a good weekend ....

Just saying hi and hope your well 🙂

[monkey_magic]

Hey a wrinkle in time,

Have had a bit on, now I'm up to date with ur posts. Hopefully by now you're having hot showers, even though the cold ones were prob ok,living in qld & all. About turning love,sex,relationship on and off after talking about it,yeah. If both parties agree it's fine in my opinion. Some people are just after casual encounters and find others after the same thing. I've been on and off before, because I could only be with this person in small doses, so I had what you could call a casual relationship. Worked really well in my opinion & I was free to date others too. Yeah both woman and men can be beautiful to look at.

You said you shed some tears, hope ur ok.

What u listen to sounds encouraging. If u want to find love, be love I think it was. So I assume you're looking for love? It's only natural...

I've been watching bachelor in paradise. That has been my dose of love lol lol... Love through the TV screen.

U made a funny comment about someone tripping into your arms I think ( sorry that I'm not going back & re-reading) on mb pH & its difficult. With ur sense of humour I'm sure ull steal someone's heart...

So you've been busy I take it, I like it, as long as ur having fun too...

To love & be loved great. Fills you up...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Monkey ..

Good effort writing from the phone ..Glad your keeping busy ...getting stuff done ...hope your studies are going well ...keep up the good work ...

Bachelor in Paradise ...Do you eat a little chocolate while you watch ??? 🙂 🙂

I have hot water now and have the new cupboards in the bedroom ...just need to finish off the linen cupboard and all finished ... the unit has been upside down ...getting back to normal now ...I went to Bris last night went down and had dinner with my son ...we went and saw the Avengers : Infinity War ...we had a yummy Thai dinner ...we both had to much chilli and had to suck on ice for 10 minutes to cool off ...the movie was good he loved it ...i fell asleep a couple of times but not for long ...just a micro nap ...Its a long weekend ...have you got any plans ?

Im going to work on the Sat as i do every Sat ...and will have a chill Sun and Mon ...Might climb Mt Coolum ....try and keep the body in its usual ripped state ...ha ha ...

Well Lovely Friend enjoy the rest of the week and all that stuff ....

[monkey_magic]

Hello Mr body in ripped state,

I'm working Sat too- as in tomorrow... Don't think I did much over the long weekend, I think I relaxed on the couch. I can't say I ate chocolate during bachelor in paradise but yday had peanut m&ms, corneto,hungry jacks & chips!!

Getting better results than most at work so pretty stoked about that.

How was the Mt Coolum climb?

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi ....Loved seeing your reply 🙂 🙂

Look at you go at work ... I love the word stoked ... Will do Mt Coolum Monday ...

You had a yummy food day yesterday ..Your Awesome .....

Had a little bit of a crappy night ...got sad had a cry ....emotion took over ...felt her so strongly ...have been listening to stuff on y-tube ...positive stuff ..stuff that has got me back in focus ...feeling better now and writing to you has made my night ....Thankyou .....

Relax on the couch sounds good ... a few good movies ... that is a real reset for me ....just a quite time at home perfect ....

Enjoy ...

Do you work all day tomorrow ...What time do you start ... We are starting at 6.30 and will do a full day ... the work we have tomorrow is quite interesting so t will be enjoyable ....A coffee at 7.15 ...is what im looking forward to ...well 7.15 ish ....

Well better get back to the positive words on youtube ....before i fall into a sad mess again ha ha ...

Have a great day tomorrow enjoy everything ....love everything ....except everything ..... and dont have sugar in your coffee it bad for you ... xxoo

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya ....

How was your day at work ?? im sure it was just perfect ...

We had a great day not to hard at all ..had heaps of house duties to attend to so when i got home i got heaps done i was stoked 🙂 .....( did i mention i love that word ) .....Just saying Hi ...

[monkey_magic]

Hiya!

On sat I worked from 10am-4pm but I'm taking a week off now to focus on study and to have a life! Yeah stoked is a pretty good word. I'm looking into Thailand for a holiday in the near future. I want to make my dreams come true. I want to do all I can in my lifetime, no regrets. I think qld was the only state to have that long weekend, we didn't have one here.

So how's everything?

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi ...

am going along up and down ...its my birthday today ...and i am hating everything ...we had this metal health talk at work the other day and its made me feel shit ...im not down just dont care about anything ...can come to Thailand with ya .... im glad your wanting to do stuff its great to have the plans and the balance ...

So a big week of study ...good one ... Hope you get it all done ....Yes having a life ...that work life balance ...i work so much ....if i had a partner i would slow up ...but its so easy to do the weekends and get lost i it ....working takes my mind off stuff especially loneliness ....if im busy im okay ... i do understand the balance i just dont do it ....

[monkey_magic]

Happy birthday for the 10th may!!!

U might be working a lot but u do still fit other things in which is great, perhaps u need to start dating again? Only u know what will work for you. I actually wish I was more like u- I would get the my goals of an overseas trip and house deposit much sooner.

Dream of what you'ld like your life to look like and do it. U might need that extra day off just to feel balanced perhaps. All work and no play can get to anyone.

It was great hearing back from you. Do u know why u were so up and down or why u don't care about anything? Did the talk trigger something in you. Hopefully u r on the up sometime soon. I think I also just go through the motions sometimes myself. You get through it though.

Im really hoping after a trip I'll feel much better. Think about what u need to feel better and do it. Sometimes we just need to b patient though & get through those lows- it will happen.

I have to look at pictures of my holiday destination everyday to keep me going sometimes.

Ah study, yes I have to get some done. I will admit it does feel pretty good having a whole week off work to do whatever I want as well.

I truelly hope u start to feel better soon. Maybe a workout will give u the lift that u need 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi ... Another nice piece of writing ....Thank you ...

Feeling better ... I spoke to some other guys at work and a few of us felt a little strange after the talk ....It was all about suicide awearness ...it was informative but something thats not disused everyday ....a bit speechless ...

I worked today and am ready for a movie and an early night 🙂 ....Yes it would be lovely to start dating again ....I think ...ha ha ...not sure ..might put on hold ....Danger ....I fall in love so easily ...Im eating salt and vinegar chips ...I just finished the packet in 3 minutes thinking about dating ...i might have to go and get a pizza and macers ...

and a 3 litre coke ...Kidding could never do that .....Maybe if i was dating ....God ...

Thats great your studying all week ...having the whole week is perfect ...just at your pace ...You know im not P......

in your pocket .... you have done so much in the last 12 months ...keep up the good effort ....its really paying off

A Big Hug To You ....

The work out is all good have been going to the gym lots ....Some days i just go in and do 3km on the rower and leave ...other days i work everything .... Your right you do feel better after a work out ....im in a good pattern at the moment and have been for a few weeks ... fingers crossed i can keep it going ...( i will ) xx

It has been getting cold ...this morning the wind had a real bite ...its nice to feel a little cold ...the days are just perfect ... yes dating again ....

thanks for the birthday wishes ...had a nice dinner out last night and a lady told me i had a lovely smile ... which was nice ... i got a little embarrassed ...and changed the subject ....my friends sister says i need women training ...and she is willing to coach me ( her words ) ...ha ha ...

Hope you have a lovely rest of the weekend ...Keep looking at those pictures ... You could manifest what ever you like i recon ... 100% ... until next time xxoo...feeling loving you just have to cop the kisses and hugs ... hope thats okay ... 🙂 🙂