relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

I don't mind the Moscato either its nice and sweet ... very easy to drink ...

We went out for breakfast this morning by the beach did some people watching , lots out and about walking their dogs ...

Had a few feeling over the weekend but not to bad ...i have set her free have made no contact ... i hope she is happy.. as you know and i wonder in talking on this site about it all the time helps or its just reliving all the time ...anyway what i started to say was ...its just a shame not being able to get past the not so good stuff .. Anyway as the classics say if you love it set it free and i have done that ... i am for the first time in my life excited to meet someone ...not quite ready yet but i will have good eyes on ...am going to protect myself this time just go slow ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Every crap thought with a rose ...a lovely thought .. Ill start building a room on the side of the house for the roses ..just kidding ...the relationship thing messes with you confidence hey ...i get not so good thoughts about myself and i never have been like that ...like before her ..so much not good stuff has got in me ... its hard work and im lazy ...well with that stuff anyway ...

[monkey_magic]

Sounds like you've been reflecting and have learnt from the past, good work...

Yeah working through and letting go of the past is the way forward....

Being excited about new love is the best feeling... 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

The ocean ..i got over my marriage of 20 odd years a lot easier ...i suppose after 20 odd years your just over it and ending it is a relief ...well it was for me ... But this one stuck on ...

Moving forward is the go and chatting to you is awesome ...

Did you mean in the last paragraph that you wouldn't want to be back with your Ex or you would like to be back with him ...a friend of mine said to me the other day you were not happy at the end with the girl and he said this it now move on it wasn't going to work so let it go ...and i am i suppose ..its just those memories ... they are getting less powerful ...i know i have said this a million times ...its crazy ...its crazy

[awrinkle_in_time]

yes reflecting without the fear ...being able to see it for what it was ...i have had thoughts of her and then i get sad and feel almost controlled by the thought of the memory ...im starting to see it with more strength ...and im seeing her a lot clearer ...its a little empowering

[awrinkle_in_time]

its just life hey ... awrinkle in time ...

Have a good sleep ... Good Night Monkey xo

[monkey_magic]

Glad u r feeling empowered Simon...

Sometimes I wish I was still with him but that boat sunk...he's married with children now... 😞

He was my deepest, realest love...

[awrinkle_in_time]

ooohhh was it a teenage love

[monkey_magic]

All you can do is fully let go I suppose... U r empoweringly strong x

[monkey_magic]

It was an adult love...I was 20 he was 27....I still think of him....