relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

had a chicken Kiev for tea we ate real early ..im watching home land its great im up to season 5 ...my daughter went to bed early ...she needs a good sleep ...

[monkey_magic]

I'm really not feeling the best. I think I feel like u did the other day... I'm just laying here teary and wounded so thanks for holding my hand. Life can be rough x

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Im Sorry Your Not feeling The Best ....Hope You Got A Good Sleep And Your Feeling A Bit Better

Ive Got Hand Monkey ...

take a slow day , look after your self ... get a nice easy walk in ... im just being a male and trying to help 🙂 🙂 🙂

will send to you some stuff ..not sure what it is just stuff to make it better ... all day today .. and both hands are being held and a big hug a couple of hugs ... it will pass beautiful ... xooo better get to the coffee shop and then to work xx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya Monkey , hope your day was kind to you ...

[monkey_magic]

You're great,

I drove for hrs by the country side, went to a gym, now I've checked into a hotel by the water....so will walk around tomorrow. I really needed to get away from home was going cookoo staying in the house...same old...needed change...so I did it and today was about a change of scenery....it's busy were I live- hustle n bustle....I like this new day...in the future I'm sure I'll move somewhere other than where I am....

How are you going?

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya , went out for dinner being social which is good for me ..it was nice ..a duck curry was on the table ...thought of you ... That sounds like a great day , i went to the gym this avo ...i just went slow ...a good start back ...

Yes i know the same old stuff ...you know monkey its normal to feel like that ...the routine gets so old some times ...im the same ...Im going okay ..had some thoughts when i got home ..glad i went out ..im working tomorrow and have been invited out for tea again ...and breakfast sunday ...my same friend who came skiing with me a good mate ...so that will be good ..keep my mind off things ....not that im to bad ...its just there you know ...Im glad you found a good little place to kick back for the weekend ...yes the hustle and bustle is hard to live in busy all the time ...you will enjoy the break ... Take care of yourself ...ive got your hand ....xx Good night

[monkey_magic]

Funny u mention duck, I deliberately had some at all u can eat the other day just bcas we were talking about the quack.

Just came back from a long drive in the dark, scared a kangaroo was going to jump out of the bushes...I'm safe lol...

Im all for keeping up a social life....:-)

Also went slow at the gym, cardio & light weights...there r some big boys in the country.

With the thoughts, hopefully they diminish... Ive changed my thinking before so I think it can b done...ur prob on the right track...hard workouts could b beneficial to change thought processing as it increases certain chemicals. I also found focusing on other things helps, my friend meditates and swears by that. Weight lifting is just as good, I think as it centres you. Other ppl swear by psychogists/psychiatrists. U can do it Simon.

Im at a motel at a caravan park, huge room, huge bed, love it in here...my thinking has changed- I'm clearer....Its not always easy living at home...I really needed to get away from her, needed a break...are adults really supposed to be living back with their parent lol? It's good for me financially...but I think I need to move out...its becoming a word I can't say on here...the s word, or I'll just say crap. Its usually really good though...just been crap recently...but I prefer to be living with someone else if I'm honest....

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Glad your clearer and you sound good ...Yes it felt good to do some exercise ...yes the thoughts ...its happening slowly ...ill keep on it ...a few steps forward and a couple back every now and again ...but its all good ...The living at home thing might just need to be fine tuned ..your right financially its a winner ...a few more exits now and again ...and maybe a long term plan to buy your own place ... just slowly ...

Hey i going to get coffee ...So glad your feeling better and enjoy that big walk today ...I care for you friend and i appreciate being able to chat with you ...it really helps me so much ... i love your female views ...i dont get a lot of that daily and i need that balance ...so thanks ...xo

[monkey_magic]

You're welcome,

I took a trip & stayed in a nice & big room at a hotel/ motel. I listened to the waves. Drove around looking at mountains, and animals, saw beach views...

Came home & mums improved.....

Also spent time with dad & he sent me on my way with a box of fruit/ deserts/ food. Went to church last night too with the FAM....it was beautiful, everyone with their lit candles, and the church,should have taken photos...it was Orthodox easter.

I saw all these couples...loving each other...and really wanted to b with someone at that point...needed that in the past...to heal...but oh well...

I was seeing someone that's still in my life but he has some issues, and I've backed off...saw another guy but he has issues too lol....so haven't seen him again.

I found the right guy at the church, but I'm sure his taken...

They're taken!!! They're married.....

I've got a lot of relationship breakups to my name...no engagements, marriages, just breakups, and seeing men and either they walk or I walk.

I also saw dated someone else recently but I think I can do better than him....

So yeah, still single too....with a pain in my hip, occasional neck pain, sprained back, reflux... But....I can still look good lol...

Think I will finish off the moscato from yesterday- drown my single sorrows...

Where I live there are so many rose bushes, all different colours- deep red, pink purple, yellow,white,pink etc....

Lets replace every crap thought with a a rose....

Mmmm white moscato guuuuddd!

It's not always easy being without a partner..I've spent lots of time without one...and eating for comfort....so yeah I'm relating to you...I do feel that " pain" if you can call it that...lack of intimacy....

I'm lucky though because I have been in love...but the heartbreak that comes after that is a nightmare...dark,n painful...but u wouldn't change it..that's what I have to keep telling myself too because u learn u grow...in saying all that though why would I do anything to be back with my ex from years ago....love can b an ocean of mixed feelings..

Oh well I'm single with a moscato...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Just wrote this long reply and it wouldn't post so annoying ...it said it had characters left ...but said i wrote to much ...

So Glad you had good weekend ...and that you feel better ... Yes the single life ...it can be good and not good ...i really miss that intermacy the closeness ..

The good guys will love the back , neck pain and the reflux is a head spinner ... ha ha ...lucky you have a beautiful heart Monkey ...Need to have a quick rest from writing ...back soon 🙂