relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Monkey , Glad your home safe my friend ... You scare me talking of homeless days and sleeping at Maccas.

Hope your road trip was good , those sort of spur of the moment things are healthy ... Hope your well

Ive been sad the last couple of days , a little tear now and again ... still love her , wanting that fantasy life .. remembering the good ...forgetting the bad all that stuff ... just so in love with the memories ... its beautiful...will stop writing about it i get sad ...

Hope your well Monkey hope you feel safe and secure in your house ... Love writing to you ...Thanks

[monkey_magic]

Hiya,

I scare myself as well lol. You sound exactly like the way I thought. I used to go back there all the time. I think it was due to the sadness and depression I felt. I would live in the comfort of my past relationship. I lived in those memories. It was great there, but hun things changed in my relationship. I changed,he changed,it became a relationship breakdown, but I longed for when we were one, so together. This has gotten me crying. It's hard. I held onto him. He was my true love, the one I wanted to spend my life with the one that was meant to be. I moved states because of the memories. It rips you apart. Prob because something even more beautiful is on the horizon. Your state is amazing. I focused on snorkeling, swimming, islands, other men.

[awrinkle_in_time]

is it the first true love that we hold onto ...that true love with someone that brings out an awareness that burns such strong memories ... that love give us a connection to all that is true and we experience that with another person ....we relate that place to being with that person ... thats what i have done ...she was my first true love ..

[monkey_magic]

Aw Simon,

Hows the weekend treating you? There's a birds nest in our roof and all these lice came in through the window. I'm bitten and itchy...

I hope you are OK & doing things you enjoy as well...Take care of yourself, you come first 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Monkey , Bitten and itchy doesn't sound real good but i love you sense of humour... Have a weekend on my own did a little work today and have been at home on my own which has been nice ...had a few tears just at random times ... i feel that connection with her again ... just letting it be ... its a bugger that the bad relationships are always the best ...did i say that right ...not sure ...will head out for a big walk in the morning ... if its not raining ...

Hope your Okay as well ...apart from the bites and the itchiness ..Good night Friend ..Thanks for the message i love chatting with ya ..

[monkey_magic]

I'm also going to go for a big walk later on to get the blood pumping. I'm 50/50... Will feel better off the crap they inject into me bcas of the wrong diagnosis & cto. Will also be good if I got payed( did 3 days work with no pay).

Not sure if the bad relationships r always the best though lol. But there were also good times which is evident by your grief...hang in there.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Hope you enjoyed your walk .. No pay is not good Monkey ... I hope you get off all that stuff soon .. Stay cool friend ... Yes thought the grief had gone ..i was quite upset tonight.. I just miss hey ..Have a busy week ahead so that will go quick .. Christmas will be hear before we know it and that will be nice to have a bit of time out and hang out with the kids ... Ill do some beach swimming for ya ... Im hanging in ... Hope your week is good and you get that nest out of the roof ... Goodnight Monkey ... You hang in there as well .. be extra good to your self this week ok ..

[monkey_magic]

Your message made me smile, thankyou x

[awrinkle_in_time]

Your welcome ... Night

[monkey_magic]

Night,

Btw there's some things written about you in that Christmas chill out lounge if u haven't already seen 🙂 Night Mr, be extra good to yourself also..I love that line.