relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

How was the Lamb ? did you have roasted veggies ?

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hope you got to sleep ok ..and you got to cry a little ..or a lot .. Don't forget to be kind to yourself .. Your Beautiful Monkey and i value your friendship ..Talk tomorrow . 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Hope your day was Ok ..xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Hope your Ok .. Hope your ..Ok Hope your Ok ..

[monkey_magic]

Thankyou Mr Simon,

I agree with what u said about not having the wrong ppl around us.

Are u OK??

Im prob not OK but am at the same time if u know what I mean. I had a friend hold me last night.

Life is a journey not a destination, really like that quote & this too shall pass.

Going through a sucky season that will b over one day...

I better do something bout my stress levels.

Chin up simon, you got this x

[monkey_magic]

Thanks for holding my hand...

I just fried a couple lamb chops without the veg that night, had tomato sauce with them..simple..can't be bothered sometimes. Depression saps the energy out...I'm glad it doesn't last...

So glad it doesn't last and there is still light amongst the dark.

I was listening to this song that said " written on the wall" and was thinking r our lives really written. It was a deep song and sounded like I feel. I'd love to write all the lyrics down but don't have them & I'm sure you'ld relate...so are our lives " pre written". U don't have to answer that one by the way...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi ...I know shitty ..I'm with ya baby and its been nice having my hand held and I'm I've got yours as well .. Glad you were held thats nice .. I recon we all re live the past ..those patterns those memories .. and you know we can't ever change what was ..but we can choose the next minute the next hour we can plan we can draw on the things we know give us that outcome that gels with who we are .. i find that at the low time its best to start slow with the good stuff and gradually build on it ...its ok to fall back sometime as long as we see the fall back and start slow again .. get the strength from knowing how beautiful your mind and body get the strength from knowing that you can give when your free of the past .. i think we write our own lives ..and i suppose that could be quite exciting in that we can change our lives when ever we want ...being stuck in the past is so shitty and i have just noticed this in myself the last few days .. remembering all the good times with my girl and feeling sorry for myself missing the connection we had .. its all past ..i can't have it back ...and thats ok ...see the NOW is what my catch phrase of the week is ...im saying it over and over to MYSELF ..Rest up ..have a lazy couple of days get strong again beautiful .

Am going out for dinner with some friends now ..get a good sleep I wont let go xx

[monkey_magic]

Simon,

You are slowly moving on & forward & what beautiful writing, I'm going to read again. Yep, we write our own lives for sure....

[james1]

Hello simonc01,

I've been following your thread for a little bit but not posting because I've also had a pretty rough time with relationships recently and I didn't really feel comfortable talking.

But I just wanted to say I really loved your last post. Like you said, a lot of this is about building ourselves back up again. If that means starting small and focussing on now, so be it.

You're doing really well by trying to work on how you can cope with this difficult situation.

I hope you enjoyed dinner last night. Friends are a real gem in tough times like this.

Hope to hear more from you on how you are going 🙂

James

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi James ..I hope your rough times have eased a little today .. I hope you have broken the ice in talking out what is tough for you ... I find that getting it out helps ...the weekends are hard for me so many good memories and i feel that loss .. But i do keep reminding myself that there were lots of uncomfortable times as well and no signs of communicating based those issues ..i was happy then sad .. it would not have worked ...but still the sadness... ..strange us humans ...Be kind to yourself mate .. Im going on a date tonight ... it feels strange .. but to have some female company will be nice ...I find that trying to run away from those memories only brings them back later on ..i i feel it i try to cry it our ..just let it all come out ..one weekend i kept busy as hell and shut it all out ..keeping busy keeping my mind occupied on the things...then 3 days later i was a mess crying and crying ...so i figure for me i have to let it just happen and go with it ...many days with a movie on and just doing nothing ...then other days i was able to exercise and do stuff .. Good luck my friend we are all hear for you and we understand 🙂