relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[monkey_magic]

You r making me cry, happy tears. Thankyou. I need some1 to hold my hand hey..u really brought tears to my eyes. I've also been out n about. You're being proactive which is great.

I also think the same about my ex, but I've def decided to walk away from him. I'm being held by guys I meet, ask one of the women to hold you, u def deserve that. If it's meant to be it will be with "her" I think. Do u find women better that her?" I find men better than him even though our love was strong. It keeps me going.

[awrinkle_in_time]

I haven't got to that with women ...im not sure i can .. i am seeing one of the ladies on Friday ill ask her as soon as i see her ..ha ha ..I don't find the women i have meet better than her .. we gad the best chemistry ...im crying now ..we both know what we had .. its just a big mess .. I will hold your hand for the week ok

[monkey_magic]

" I just want to be held, I want to love and feel."

I know that feeling all too well so I started doing it, took a while though, not with the right men but I just wanted to love and feel. I'm taking a step back now and thinking about what I'm actually doing and what I want. I do know I don't want a man that stresses me or makes me angry which is what's currently happening...

You want it so I'm sure you'll attract it..I simply send a message out to the universe. Or I'll attract what my mind thinks about. Its a powerful tool. We really can get what we put out there...it happens to me anyhow....I also go out n search & find...

[monkey_magic]

Well we can hold each others hand... U will get through this OK. U will u will u will. I' m going through rough stuff, I'm hurting, I'm crying, we can do this OK, we can do this....I believe you'll be fine again one day....crying too ( I really am)

[awrinkle_in_time]

Yes i know it will pass and it will be something i learn to live with ..Yes i understand the putting it out there thing thats true that you are what you think ..but the grieving has to pass ... Thank you for being hear ..i so appreciate you and your words .. we will get through we will .. I meet with one lady who was nice and friendly and we talked for an hour or so and when i walked away i felt stressed ..i felt tension ... i noticed this in my body .. I'm just sayin.....well have had a good cry tonight ha ha .. Thanks for letting me to hold your hand I'm not letting go for a bit if thats ok ..

[monkey_magic]

Naw thankyou, ur the best...cooking some lamb, u want lol??

[awrinkle_in_time]

Ok .. Ill set the table .. 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , I had a better day today ...that was a real roller coaster ride yesterday ..it came on so quick ..the drive home from work was crazy ...ill have to keep my eye out for that coming again ...had a workout on the rowing machine this afternoon that clears my mind ..Had a healthy dinner ..it helps when i do all that good stuff for myself .... Hope the day was kind to you...and your going OK ..

[monkey_magic]

Tell me about it simon, I know that rollercoaster, I'm on the damn thing. I did bike, floor exercises & weights. Well done on you efforts today. Now I just want to cry but can't. Thankyou for holding my hand, I've got you too.

[awrinkle_in_time]

I had to go out for work ..im on call tonight ... home now and have your hand no worries ... The roller coaster ..I thinks is remembering the good forgetting the bad and starting the cycle over again ..see the feelings of sadness for me are remembering all the good stuff ...the little things and yes they were all fantastic ... and i miss them ...but there was also stuff that never got communicated ...stuff i felt uncomfortable with stuff that made me question things about our security as a couple ...the baggage ....stuff that is not a problem if 2 people want to be happy .. are are willing to work together ... I've learnt that you can't change people ...only yourself .. and we must not live with the wrong people around us ...