relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[monkey_magic]

Ur welcome,

I think as humans some of us feel lost after a breakup and need to reconfigure who we r, wat we need, what we stand for, what we believe in. And I also think we all need to be a part of something, or someone, I also believe we can be whole on our own and still b satisfied & fulfilled without a significant other. My thoughts others could disagree.

So, u have been/ are doing the therapy which is a good sign, I hope the professional really helps. I know my psychologist does. And taking steps forwards, steps back is the process until she's evaporated into the universe. Its difficult and I feel for u bcas I understand. I've lost a lot of ppl, things in my life, making me teary writing this....

I still think of exes yrs later...but shifting my focus got me through. She must have been really important to you, it shows...

All I can hope it that it gets easier step at a time. And know she's a part of the universe not the universe okay. Hope I've maybe helped a little.

Friendship reciprocated ( if that's how its spelt) ..

[monkey_magic]

I found some writing relating to lost love, I'll put it up in case it relates or helps;

Our time and space was beautiful, even if it has ended, even if it will never be the same; the universe is a strange place. In the end, I'm just thankful to have shared anything with you, for any time at all.

Then I said goodnight & tucked u away inside a place called nostalgia, where you'll always remain unspoiled, somewhere between my lungs that used to breath ocean air and my belly that fluttered with hope.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , that was nice thank you .. Im have a tough night crying lots ..i can't believe it ..back to so much love for her ..im going to try and sleep ... can't really put words together right now .. she's just in me and i miss her so very much .. goodnight friends xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hey mate not real good tonight need to sleep if i can ..hope your stronger .. i have got rid of all messages and photos and stuff its to sad and it all comes back... be careful with old stuff ... thanks mate for being hear .cant put words together right now ..

[monkey_magic]

You are able to articulate your feelings well making it easy for others to understand. ATM you sound grief stricken and it was sad reading you were shedding those feelings of unity you once shared with your love. You couldn't speak which conveyed you had a tough time letting her go. And yes its sad and heartbreaking too. I feel for you and I can only hope its back to cruising along solo again....as that's your plan because the wise you said so. It's funny how our heart sings a tune different to our head.

If only, if only...

But in your case I think the mind has won. I think you've made up your mind about her.

Any chance of a swim...another beach day??

Feel for ya. Its also quite tough sharing everything so well done you. X

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Friend , your right i have made up my mind ...I have had a better day today.. she is still there but its ok ..A swim is a great idea and ill do that in the morning ...Your reply was so nice ,thank you , i had a little cry .. Female contact is so helpful ... it helps me feel comfortable..with the situation ..

I hope the day has been kind to you ...and you are well ... Im also hear for you as well ..xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Mate hope the day was kind to you ... Regards a friend that understands x

[Guest_1584]

Hi monkey , simon. hope you guys are ok.

But nah mate , l wish but damn, l lost one pay today and so l won't be able to take my daughter away a few days . Sadly about all l look forward to right now.

but yeah , it wasn't too smart reading that stuff either, been in a state ever since. l dunno how you can destroy them though mate , l just can't , l almost did but just couldn't do it.

but l think l'm slowly coming to terms though. l feel as though l've been lucky enough too find a second love of my life but l do have to let her go and right now l feel as though l'm finally accepting that. So maybe that's gonna be a good thing l hope , in time , some peace.

wish l was up there to take those swims,

wish l could afford a trip too l might have taken your suggestion and cruised up to Coolum after all. Been a long time.

keep on swimmin man , your getting there eh.

[monkey_magic]

Heelloooo it's the weekend. Hopefully it's an easy one not a killer like you've said previously. And I'm hoping good things happen for you & there are distractions.

So, let us know how u go if u feel like it, thinking of u.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hello , beautiful lady ... i had a busy Friday night with work so a slight distraction ..But today has been more emotion and crying .. i think i am going to the doctor on monday for some meds its just so painfully and I'm stuck in a pattern .. i was dreaming of her teeth last night .. ...its unreal the depth of the pain when it comes ...i worked today and will watch movies for the rest of the weekend ...I hope your well and have had a nice week xxx