relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi ya , yes ok, worked late last night taking time out .. Glad your good ..comfort food hey .. yum ..the memories are fading although had a big cry late last night .. having flashers of memories of all kind of stuff that reminds me of her .. i keep saying to myself she has moved on and so should i ..ill never stop loving her .. its getting better ..i think

[monkey_magic]

Whoohoo the rollercoaster has hit top deck, top speed, keep in mind it could slow down again, hopefully not though, hopefully it doesn't go down into the tunnel and stays up top.

Sounds like your managing it quite well. My rollercoaster story may be silly. That's great its getting easier.I'm plonked on the couch now- my turn, will go for a walk soon as my internal rollercoaster could use some speeding up.

It can be tough managing work and a breakup,but I think you've got this. If another wave of emotion/ darkness comes on just know it will pass but I'm sure you know all this. Maybe you could write to others? You have experience on your side.

[awrinkle_in_time]

glad you have so much confidence in me ..hey i took a latin dance class last night ..it was so much fun ..

[monkey_magic]

You go boy!!! I used to do salsa....love how u keep moving through this breakup xx

[awrinkle_in_time]

ha ha ..i replied to cupoftea33 and someone else ..will look up and let you know ... were you good at salsa ?

[awrinkle_in_time]

and i replied to little goat ..

[awrinkle_in_time]

i hope i said the right things ... have a read and let me know your thoughts ...

[monkey_magic]

Haha at the names...I prefer dancing my own way but salsa is sexy and co ordinated, didn't hurt to learn. I'd do zumba over salsa though, maybe bcas the instructor is fun. That's what I did after my painful breakup...dance. I did salsa and hip hop!

[awrinkle_in_time]

I signed up for 4 classes and they take you through all the different styles .. I can't move like the brazilian instructor but the people are friendly and it made me happy ..way out of my comfort zone .. Do you still find it fun ? its good to do fun things ..i find while I'm trying to coordinate my 2 left feet I'm not thinking of anything else .. it gives the mind a rest .. today i had a full on visual of a key that we used to go out the front door at her place ..it was so clear in my mind it had her hair tie on it ...the mind is so strong ..I have never experienced this before I've never loved a women like this lady ever .. she bloody got into every part of me .. I have happy moments knowing i don't have to worry about us .. you know ..when your together i worried ...we had a long distance well 2hrs but she never reassured me that things were ok ...i needed that .. she had trust issues so i didn't get a strong feeling go commitment from her it was like i was just another guy ..i found that hard ..raving on now ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

hey monkey underscore magic..Hope your day went ok .. what did you get up to ?