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Really struggling

Saree_p
Community Member
Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry
1,085 Replies 1,085

Jojo100
Community Member

Dear Saree

I am so glad you are safe and very happy your bf joined you at the shack. Why did the police come?

What did the CAT team have to say?

Drive carefully on the icy roads xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

Saree_p
Community Member
Hi Jojo,
Sorry for all the trouble and worry.
Wasn't in a good space, still not but trying.
Police did a welfare check, because of rural area they agreed to not take me to hospital as long as they could keep checking in till bf arrived.

Don't know about CAT team, they were never supposed to contact me again. They left a message saying they'd call today or Monday. So guessing it'll be Monday.

Got a job interview Monday too, can't recall how it happened so guess was Wednesday, have the email there for it.

Jojo100
Community Member

Dear Saree

You are forgiven lol! I am just glad nothing happened to you while you were away from home. I think your bf deserves a big thank you for driving out to the shack to be with you. He sounds amazing and very understanding.

Good luck with the job interview on Monday - what is the job?

I am glad you are going back to your bf’s place as you don’t need the stress of your housemate.

Thoughts are with you xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

Saree_p
Community Member
Thanks Jojo,

Still sorry. Ashamed and really annoyed at myself.

It's some fancy title but dealing with early intervention for families with children with disabilities. The draw card is it's more my qualification level and it'll be stable hours, maybe that's what I need.

Bf is amazing, he doesn't quite get it but he just does what he can. He was worried when I just went on Tuesday. Still think he is crazy for liking me.

I have to pack tinsel up after work today and take her to sisters, then I'll spend another night at bfs. should mean I'll be ok till next week.

Am really struggling, its very dark and i am so tired. Am worried as this is the first depressive episode bf is seeing, but cant change it and dont have energy to hide it.

How are you Jojo? Anything planned for the weekend?

Grateful to you as always dear friend. I am sorry,

Saree

Jojo100
Community Member

Dear Saree

Have been out and about with my friend Wayne. Had coffee, a walk, then lunch. Managed to avoid the rain.

The job you have applied for sounds great, especially the regular hours. Good luck for Monday.

I am so glad your bf is sticking by you as it’s really good to have someone you can rely on. And he’s not crazy for liking you!

Are you back at work now?

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

Saree_p
Community Member
Dearest Jojo,

Was today, home briefly for run in with housemate.
Move Tinsel tomorrow night now.

Sounds wonderful Jojo. How's the weather your way?

It is. Apologised for depressive state and he is just like, you body clearly needs to rest.

Really exhausted.

Sorry Jojo

Saree_p
Community Member

Hi All,

Tinsel is gone. Feels horrible being home. All the negatives are ringing through my head.

Sorry all,

Saree

Jojo100
Community Member

Dear Saree

Just want to wish you good luck for your job interview tomorrow. All the very best.

Try and get some rest tonight so you will be ready.

Have you resolved things between yourself and your housemate?

Take care xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

Saree_p
Community Member

Thanks Jojo,

No, I haven't and they won't be this time. He went to far this time with manipulative games this time. And I have had to rehome Tinsel because of him, so no it isn't repairable anymore. I can't when someone is undertaking deliberate actions to cause harm and then tries to blame me for it. I should be able to but I can't.

Hope you've had a good weekend Jojo, caught up a little on your week with Lilly's post. Hope she is ok.

Thanks Jojo,

Saree

Jojo100
Community Member

Dear Saree

Sorry to hear about your housemate, but I guess enough is enough.

Is your mood still low?

How did your job interview go today?

With love your friend Jojo 🌼