Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Thanks Jojo,

You've been a true friend. Sorry dear Jojo.

Good luck with everything. Hope you keep finding the joy of life and helping those around you

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

You don’t need to be sorry or apologise in any way. Thank you for your message as I have been really concerned for your well-being. I get the impression you are saying goodbye which worries me even more.

Please keep talking, sharing and reaching out. Don’t cut yourself off or be alone through this time. I’m always here to listen and hopefully help in some small way.

Also I could do with your support right now as my little dog (Poppy) has just developed a heart problem which has meant fluid was collecting in her lungs. She is having an ultrasound tomorrow, but I am very worried about her.

Please don’t do anything hasty and above all else take good care of yourself xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,

I've just been released from hospital. Was in emergency for a day then emergency medical ward for 3 then mh for 3.

Not sure I shouldve come home. Already struggling.

how are you?

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Good to hear from you as I was getting really worried about you. Sorry to hear you have been in hospital again as I know how difficult that is for you.

Hope everything settles down for you soon and you can get back on an even keel. Have you taken some leave from work?

I have been through quite a worrying time recently as my little dog Poppy has been diagnosed with congestive cardiac failure. An ultrasound showed enlargement of her heart and a leaky valve.

However, the good news is she has started to improve due to two medications she has been put on. We see the vet again on Monday to assess her progress and possibly do a chest X-ray.

I am staying positive and hopeful that Poppy is going to be okay.

Sorry to share my troubles when you have enough of your own to deal with.

Take care of yourself and stay safe and strong xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙋‍♀️

[Saree_p]

Hey Jojo,

It's ok! I'm sorry I haven't been about for you. I do hope all will be ok, hang in there.

Um I've lost my job, forced resignation. After all, how can the crazy person provide therapy to others.

No I don't feel settled. I'm struggling ...

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

You don’t have to apologise to me as you have been in hospital and have only recently been discharged. How did you go in hospital? Was it in any way helpful or useful?

I am really sorry to hear you have lost your job, but you are not ‘crazy’. You have a serious mental illness which greatly impacts on all aspects of your life.

Also I was sorry to hear you are still really struggling. Do you have much support? Keep reaching out and attending any mental health follow up appointments. Try to avoid isolating yourself.

With regular medications I think Poppy is going to be alright so I’m not nearly as worried as I was when I first got the diagnosis.

I hope you can get through this dark place you are in and start to recover and rebuild your life. Are you still studying? If so maybe you could try and focus on that.

You are in my thoughts and prayers dear friend xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙋‍♀️

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Glad poppy is recovering and will be ok.

Hospital was more a recover and then safety admission. There has been no follow up support as of yet. There was supposed to be incase wasn't doing well but mh services down here never do what they are supposed to. They were supposed to be incontact prior to me being admitted but never did. My psychologist isn't till Tuesday.

No more study or job. Need to change career all together.

My life situation is worse than when I made the attempt, so now it feels like I have to complete. My partner is trying to keep me safe but I know as soon as he returns to work it's not going to go well.

just feel so alone in all this.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I’m sorry you are feeling so alone and not in a good place. Please try ringing some of the emergency numbers for support until your appointment with your psychologist on Tuesday. When do you see your psychiatrist?

Please don’t make any more attempts as I, for one, would be devastated if anything were to happen to you (as would your family and friends). You are young and have choices such as changing career. Try and focus on that if you can.

You have come so far Saree, so don’t give up now.

Wishing for you healing, strength and positive thoughts xox

With lots of love and hugs Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

No idea with psychiatrist. Partner rang on thursday and has heard nothing.

My family wouldn't care jojo. Sorry t disappoint you.

It doesn't feel like things are getting better. Only getting worse.

Sorry Jojo

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_p, 

We are really sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, we can hear that you have a lot going on right now and we want you to know that we are here for you. It must take so much courage to post to the forums and we hope you can see the strength that you have. 

We want to suggest that you give us a call on 1300 22 4636 to talk through this feelings and thoughts that it sounds like you are having. It must be difficult but our wonderful team can hope you process these and support you in the moments you feel distress. You can also call our friends at Lifeline 13 11 14 if you like, they are also lovely and kind. 

If at anytime you feel unsafe, please call 000 straight away as this is an emergenecy. 

You are an important part of this community and we hope that you can keep finding conversations to join to that you can be supported and support others through telling your story. Thank you for you bravery and for being a part of this community. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M