"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[Croix]

Dear Bowling Blonde~

YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary, i.e. that's how it is for me, for you it might be different.

I've never actually Said... - then how about the art of dissembling? 🙂

Your secret is safe, though I'm sure any Art you invested part of yourself in would be unique (and yes that's a compliment, please don't try to read anything negative into it!)

One of my disappointments is I'm a mere consumer in the world of arts, not a creator.

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Morning Croix

that's great...we want as many consumers as possible . I'll try and create up a storm just for you!

Now here's a funny thing - I don't seem to be consumed with any paranoid, obsessive thoughts when I'm playing bowls (?)- it's the one place where I realise that "over thinking" will do me no good whatsoever - in fact would be disastrous.....I have no choice but to "go with the flow and let it happen". Why is that do you reckon?...

Have wonderful day ( what's left of it) Croix.

[Croix]

Dear Moon`

I'll try and create up a storm just for you!

Now you've let the cat out of the bag! - you're no Bowler - you're a weather wizard/sorceress (don't know which is PC I'm afraid 😞

As to the most important thing you said - perhaps because it comes direct from your heart?

Actually I'm really delighted for you. To have any area where the demons disappear is an infinite blessing.

Now, weather magician, exercise your talents, go create some "gentle rain, which like the quality of mercy, flows from heaven" (sorry Will).

Croix (who likes to share weird quotes with friends)

[Moonstruck]

Nah -sorry! I'm no weather wizard. If I was, believe me I would create myself OUT of this appalling heatwave!

Day after day of relentless hot sun beating down on us all from the completely cloudless Blue Blue Blue Sky! No relief even worth mentioning when darkness falls.......the temperature is STILL above what it should be!! People are going crazy where I live - me especially.

I just emailed an acquaintance about half an hour ago! He hasn't replied yet! Hello paranoia!! Will his answer be negative? Did I word the email correctly? Did I say something I shouldn't? Is he showing it to someone else before he answers? Did he misunderstand the message? What on earth am I doing?? Because someone doesn't reply to an email within seconds of receiving it????

And yes, as you said, I guess it is the one place where my demons disappear. I never thought of it that way. This is probably why I returned there. Have a good night....i will be checking and re-checking to see if that poor guy has replied to my email...oh God I make myself sick sometimes!

[Moonstruck]

...continued.....my friend emailed me first thing this morning in answer to mine yesterday (see above)..no problems..all well, very positive response, everyone happy......so I had a bad night's sleep for Nothing!!

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

In the Cafe you said:

Croix every now and then I am awash with this huge wave of fear at what I have committed to. It's been a long long time and I have been through so much in the years in between! I can't change my mind now either - no one knows what a challenge this is for me......oh God please don't let me have over-estimated myself!!!

My dear Moon, all will be well. To use your bowling analogy (which is a bit hard truth be told) the onlookers don't see the 'you', they see someone - a stranger- dressed up in bowling whites with all the other paraphernalia of the task doing the job.

The job is an instinctive part of you - once a bowler always a bowler. Bowlers are renowned for having the screaming heebies before going on the green. There are a great many female bowlers who started their career when older than you - plus you have all your past bowling experience, so it will be fine.

Looking at videos - if they exist of course - of others doing the same bowling maneuvers may get you 'in the swing'.

Please go and practice your coping mechanisms.

I'm sorry I won't be their to see your triumph when you knock them for six (an old bowling term)

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Thanks Croix.

You know what? I just have to remind myself to "get out of my own way". Whatever "it" is that channels through me ( I am just the vessel) will take over - it always has - and it will again. I started very young too..this is sort of a "comeback". My son just texted that I will be "brilliant". I needed to hear it, from people close to me, who know what a big deal it is for me personally.....your encouragement and support is greatly appreciated -likewise my other pals on here - more than you know. I hope life is being good to you at the moment Croix......

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I noticed you gave a lovely detailed post in Croix Parler. Please do not be dis-heartened or think the post was in any way less than any others (quite the opposite) if I don't reply straight away.

It is because I'm having a few less-than-desirable issues of my own and am probably not in the best place to give it the attention it deserves right now.

Rest assured I will enjoy it and respond - as Sir Humphrey A would say "With due consideration. At the appropriate juncture. In the fullness of time."

Croix

[cait_louise]

my brain gets like this too, in my opinion it's mostly anxiety amplified times a million!

try not to reassurance check/clear your named when nothing has yet happened, reassurance checking is like positive reinforcement for rumination, it'll just make the cycle grow stronger.

if you can - try to find evidence for and against your worries. Like 'they looked at me funny, i bet they're going to talk about me later'

[CMF]

Moon,

Story of my life, but not necessarily in relation to what people say or think of me, just things in general. Second guessing things, wondering 'what if' etc.

Sorry i'm a little flat right now but appreciated your post.

cmf x