"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[1113]

Peaceful hello moonstruck,

I hear you loud and clear.

Positive affirmations.

Mediate.

Train yourself to see things differently. Turn it upside-down.

Just admitting is the first step forward.

You don't want to stop it altogether, this is natural mental ability of assessment.

Weighing pros cons etc. Catastrophizing is just anxiety and the power of your brain, capacity etc.

Believe that all is well. We are all in the same boat.

If you have any questions, please ask.

Peace

Matt.

[Croix]

Dear Moonstruck~

This post is basically about me - see if you relate, perhaps something might help a smidgen.

A while ago in another thread I was writing about myself:

An unfortunate legacy of my injury is prolonged bouts of anxiety, often triggered by an action I have taken. Here the mind enters the hamster wheel of revolving thought, unable to entirely break out, held in there by well-worn feelings of insignificance, watched over by old acquaintances doubt and dread.

Intellectually I am aware my thinking is distorted and that any anticipated adverse outcome will likely be trivial or non-existent - that is no help. I do have the small comfort of knowing it has happened and I have restarted normal life so many times before – however the clock of time passing to reach that end ticks so slowly - I have to endure.

The subject matter is often my interactions with others - what happened - what might have happened - what it meant - where did I go wrong and so on and so on and s....

Horrible. It used to be worse, years ago I was locked inside, I did not have the self awareness to know it was happening - I just endured. Nowadays I've reached the stage where I realize I'm in the wheel.

I think maybe you have a similar mechanism at work - it sounds a bit like me.

Two things - firstly like you I want to take some action to bring the matter to an end, in your case perhaps talking to the person involved - in my case that; or other actions arising from other scenarios. In just about every case I've found taking that action when thinking is awry has not lead to peace of mind, often it has exacerbated the situation.

Secondly - what can I do? My two main weapons are physical activity and distraction.

I've restricted movement and can only walk, so I walk up the street, being out of the gloom in the house and in the open air, perhaps looking around - meeting a neighbor - whatever - it helps.

Last night my wife took me to the movies because I had a flashback - I know that's a different, my solutions' the same.

Distraction - I'm big on that. I'm extremely fortunate I can lose myself in books - mostly one's I've read before with happy endings. That retreat has carried me through psych ward, and innumerable unhappy episodes to a kinder cleaner world where villains meet their just desserts and heroes and heroines live happily ever after.

Perhaps there is something you can do sometimes to break the cycle?

I understand and hope for you

Croix

[white knight]

Hi Moonstruck.

I've mentioned about this dwelling thing a few times. I don't mind repeating.

In 1987 after many years in the RAAF, prison officer, investigations and so on I got a job as a ranger for a council. A small part of that job was the dreaded parking officer role in a small country town (now large) on the outskirts of Melbourne. Up until then I was never corrupted.

After a complaint was lodged by shop keepers I attended the area to find a large white car parked in a disabled bay without authority. I issued a fine...a measly $12. Then it was in one hour zones all day and more fines were issued. My boss told me one morning "leave that big white car alone, don't book it". I asked why "he is a mate of the town clerk, its a direction for you to adhere to".

I was outraged. At the time I didn't have the simple wisdom of telling him the he could patrol the area and left it as it was. When I patrolled the street next I issued another fine well aware my boss was spying on me. We argued in the office, I got severe chest pains, I went off work...ECG was abnormal...diagnosis- heart attack at 31 years of age. It wasn't until 3 months later when doing a fitness test they found it was a panic attack. My heart rate is normal now funny enough.

Now, my honour and dignity was compromised. I needed and got lots of therapy. My therapist identified that I had a number of issues to address. One was thinking unrealistic thoughts. EG he asked what occurred this week. I answered I worried my boss would knock on my door. He'd ask...do you really think that would happen..."No" would be the answer yet I worried it would. I was then trained to turn these unrealistic thoughts away from my daily life. I learned to assess if some thought was unrealistic then it was highly unlikely it would occur.

Another one was dwelling. Churning over and over issues that I could not control. I learned to (as Croix said) divert my attention. tinkering in my shed became my safe zone. It was there and still is, that my mind is so busy and focused that I rarely think of bad thoughts.

Distance. I have slowly distanced myself from local politics, local tree planting, working bees, and so on. I remind myself I'm not well and if that means a better happier more manageable life not being involved with other people then so be it. However I walk around our small town picking up rubbish...alone!!

So that's it. I hope I've helped. Oh, and stick up for yourself!

Tony WK

[white knight]

oh and moonstruck, google these...even if you only read the first post of the threads

Topic: defending yourself, don't be an easy target- beyondblue

Topic: words are sticks and stones- beyondblue

Topic: happy marriage, hobbies and spirit- beyondblue

Topic: so what are their mental illnesses- beyondblue

Topic: depression and toxic people- beyondblue

Topic: festering issues or moving on?- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection?- beyondblue

Tony WK

[1113]

Nice1 White knight

Moonbear,

I forgot to mention;

Have a look through "OTT old thought thoughts".

One of kaitoa's threads. Taurus will back me up on this.

Its good to just read through. It has some very good info on challanging thoughts.

Take what you can out of it and challenge those negtive thoughts.

Your not alone and a highly regard member of the community.

Peace

Peace

Matt.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Moon,

Yeah I know it has been a while since we chatted..... Hugs for you now. Anyway your heading stood out to me, because I too over think things at times, and it seems always to be about relating to others. Like did I say something wrong, did I say to much etc. However in most cases I have known the person. Do you know the person well and trust them? If yes, then I would speak to them about it. I have done that before and the result was I felt a sense of freedom or lightness. Plus whatever I was over thinking was totally incorrect and they gently reassured me of that. I did find it a little scary to open myself and speak, but it was worth it, just to free myself from the particular thoughts.

Anyway you are not alone Moon,

Love

Shelley xx

[blondguy]

Hey Moon

What a great thread, and thankyou 🙂 Im not here to talk about me....this one is about YOU:-)

Over thinking is a huge pain...Ive been working really hard not to be an 'overthinker' and with time and a heap of frustration and crying in front of counselors I am nearly out of the woods 🙂

I really understand where you are coming from Moon. It can be crippling to spend our time using a microscope and going over things as many times as we do. It only makes us worse.

The more frequent the therapy the better our mental health and thought processes...The less frequent our therapy the more we will overthink...Sometimes we have to 'take out the trash'.......(Vent)

Nice1 Moon...

my kind thoughts

Paulxo

[Out_the_window]

Hi.may i say ive had exactly the same.my.memories go back as far as three.maybe more.at three.i had dreams that were like paranoid conflicts.some with another me in the dream.some with parents. Or school bullies. Lol . Like ..eveything was in fast motion.i didnt cope with it so i lashed out.even at five i shouted at my dad to turn the tv down it was deafening me.it was down. I believe us more sensitive people have coping proplems with ordinary sounds.feelings and actions.sometimes we dont respond well to the whole network of those.and we freak out like its over exposure to our fragile senses... hope it helps you. Im no doctor.im a patient. Wayne.

[geoff]

hi Moonstruck, as we can see you're been on the site for quite awhile, but can you google 'intrusives thoughts' which people who have OCD have.
There is an enormous section on this site and by reading some of the comments you may connect with them. Geoff.