New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[Pysis]

No I didn't mean anything by that it's just something you say I guess, sorry if it came across differnt I didn't mean it to. Please don't take anything I say the wrong way sometimes things come arose the wrong way with me but I'll never mean anything by it ok.

yeah I've got a flu type thing pressure behind my eyes, sore ears, sore tho right, tight chest and that nice stuff it's getting better but I haven't felt to good today. I hope you get better soon. Could you go to that other GP you went to about your headaches?

yeah I think I'll give tinder a try what do I have to lose right, it could be a complete and utter flop but it could go well I guess I'll never know if I don't try.

yeah talking about it has been really helpful for me thank you, even just talking to people my own age about it has been good, I tried asking Sara if she thought I could get a girlfriend becuase she sujested it this morning but she just said she wasn't the right person to ask. thank you for talking to me about it it really does mean a lot, I dont have anyone in the real world to talk about anything like this to.

thinking of you

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

yeah my cousins are always really shocked when the come up here it's just very differnt. I mean most people here like Pauline Hanson and can be pretty racsit as well there was a missive thing in the bigger town becuase they wanted to build a mosck.

its kind of like people here are either one extream or the other some hate homosexuality and others fight like hell to defend it not so much in my town it's more towards the homophobic side but yeah in the big town Bendigo. I really do agree that there should be a lot more acceptance but your dealing with people here that are very set in there ways and where the towns are predominantly chatholic.

Thanks pepper I have a lot of respect fo you as well.

yeah I'm staying true to me I can't change even if I wanted to I am who I am.

thanks pepper.

Nath

[startingnew]

That really came out the wrong way.. it was more a question of I was worried my answers werent quite what you were looking for.
Im really over gps at the moment, im not planning on going to another one just yet. They wont give me anything for it until it gets worse (pray to god that doesnt happen!) or ive had it for abit as these usually clear up in a week so ill see how I go if im not better or at least getting better by sunday ill go check into the medical centre.


Well if your open to tinder go for it. Just be careful what you post on here about it though ok otherwise we might end up knowing who you are or someone could identify you.


You can talk to us about anything. Sara might not know what else to say because of the age difference or not want to get your hopes up sort of thing. Dont take it too personally.


I dont have any one in the real world either. I can tell you now if someone was to identify me it would be a tradgety

[Pysis]

Oh ok sorry I was worried I'd said something wrong there. No your answers are exactly what I was looking for. I actually meant thank you for understanding my late response but that's ok, we both got our wires crossed there for a moment, haha.

yeah I went to the GP and they just told me there isn't anything they can do they told me to take antihistamines and cold and flu medicine but that's it.

Oh ok, what happens if someone finds out who I am? It's not something that I'm to worried about not to many people actually know me in the real world and I'm not overly identifiable.

thanks star I cat really tell you enough how much you guys have done for me, it's really nice to just be able to talk to people without judgement. Yeah I think that could be it, I just was a little confused that's all.

well you've got everyone here😃.

Oh I've seen your response on your thread but I'm pretty tierd right now so I'll answer it later. I'm going to try and get some sleep now.

thinking of you

Nath

[Peppermintbach]

Hey Nath,

I can't think of another word aside from eye opening...

It sounds like a very oppressive community for you (and others too). Although it's fantastic that there are people like you who accept all cultural heritages and all sexual orientation. That's the way it should be- good on you 🙂

Aw thanks, that made my day 🙂

Keep on keeping on. I love your sense of tolerance, acceptance and open mindedness. There's courage in going against the grain. As I said, much respect for you.

Pepper xo

[startingnew]

Well then thats it a simple wires crossed moving along 🙂
im glad your getting what your after here, I really am.


Yeah they cant give antibiotics if its a virus. Hopefully you start to clear up soon.


Well if your not worried about people knowing who you are thats fine. I wouldnt know what to do if someone found out who I was. I cant really give any advice there but it hasnt happened yet so dont worry about it.




Thats why I love BB. Theres no judgement here.

[Peppermintbach]

Hey Nath,

I know you're resting but when you're free next...check out "A Bouquet for pearls" thread (Staying Well forum).

Pepper xo

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

thats so good that you are beginning to let go of the fear! definitely something that is important to do 🙂
yea thats frustrating and a little rude that he did do that to you. it definitely shows that he isnt as mature as you

im sure you will be able to find someone who understands you and likes you for you! dont give up hope, the right person is out there
mmm that is hard when you dont enjoy going out because it sounds like that is one of the ways to meet people in your area but so good that you dont feel pressured to change yourself just so that you can meet someone that way
not sure about tinder, definitely feel free to give it a go but a lot of the time people dont usually go on tinder to find meaningful relationships, its more for a casual thing. but if its something you want to do just to try it out, as you never know you might meet someone lovely on there, then definitely try! but be careful.

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

thanks for your kind words on the other thread.😃

Thinking of you

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi C

yeah it's kind of a relief to finally start to let go of that fear it's controlled me a lot over the years.

Yeah well he's only 14 so he is only a kid pretty much, I just got sick of it you know.

thanks C that means a lot, Hopefully there's someone for me.

yeah I mean if I'm sitting around a Bon fire or something I'll have a few drinks but I never let myself get drunk, I've never been to a club but I don't like noise all that much and I don't have anyone to go with.

to be honest I'd be happy even if I just found a friend my age, I signed up last night it feels a bit wierd but I think it's worth a shot. Even if I can just find a freind it would open me up to more people. Don't worry I'll be careful.

thinking of you

Nath