New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[startingnew]

its really important that you try not to skip doses. after a few days it starts to play havoc as well which is why you would be feeling weird. you need to get those asap, before you go away.

thats cool, when your at maccas flick us a msg and let us know how your doing

[Pysis]

Yeah I thought I had more but I ran out 3 days ago now. I'm really agitated and I'm feeling pretty panicky as well, I'm going to try and get some more tomorrow, I'm really not liking feeling like this I'm starting to feel numb again and I'm can feel myself flooding with adrenaline. I think it could be a very long night yet.

yeah I will I think a few of the places we are staying have Internet as well so I shouldn't be away from you guys for to long. I'm going to miss you guys though, I kind of feel I need you guys.

[startingnew]

for now until you get your ADs try using calming techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, mindfullness, maybe try for some art, a hot shower and going to bed early to avoid panic

we will be thinking of you while your not here but know we are with you spirit. just remember your not truley alone even though you feel like it

[velvetfaerie]

Urgghhh medication withdrawal is no fun. I hope it's not too bad tonight for you.... 😱😱

And have a good holiday. Jealous. I need one..... lol

v.

[Pysis]

Yeah I'm trying to breath at the moment, I'm really not liking feeling like this. I can't concentrate on anything at the moment I can't even watch tv.

Thanks star it really means a lot I'm going to miss you all.

hi v

yeah this is not fun at all it's the first time I've run out and I don't think I'm going to let it happen again. I feel like I could run a couple marathons right now.

yeah that you I'll try, I might end up killing someone yet if I don't get a break from my brothers and dad, haha. hopefully you'll get a holiday soon.

thanks guys

Nath

[Pysis]

I've sent a message it hasn't come through yet though.

yeah I'm trying to breath at the moment, I'm really not liking feeling like this at all, I can't consentrate on anything.

thanks star it really means a lot I'll try and check in as much as I can.

[Pysis]

Hi vlyeah this is the first time I've run out and I'm really not liking it I feel like I could run a couple marathons and keep going.

thank yeah I hope it's good as well, hopefully you'll get one soon.

thanks

Nath

[velvetfaerie]

I wish I had advice. Ok I kinda do. When I withdrew (under dr supervision), the ONLY things that helped were lollies and hot showers.

Not even the medicine to help take me off the other medicine!!! Go figure.

Holiday ........ im aiming for early next year. Go run riot somewhere!!!

v.

[startingnew]

are you able to go to the chemist tonight? get someone to take you in so that you can get your meds...

keep chatting here if this helps. ill prob be a round for a while yet. trying to wear down some energy myself.

jsut keep breathing, go for a walk around outside maybe? do an animals check?

[Pysis]

Nah I won't be able to get any till tomorrow about lunch time.

yeah thanks talking so helping.

ueah that's a good idea I'll be back.

thanks star

Nath