Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

[lookingforme]

I had absolutely no idea where to put this post, but considering I already have the depressive disorder, I'd put it here. I have just today been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder on top of the depression, does anyone on here have it and is able to summarise it? I don't quite know how to explain it to people other than by listing symptoms, which I don't really want to do. And you know that old saying, if you can't explain it simply enough, you don't truly understand it. It's a strange label.

Suffice it to say that I haven't been having a good time of it lately, and this diagnosis makes me half relieved and half unknowing, which I don't much care for. I just know it's something I will have to work at to manage, and stress aggravates it, and right now, I am nothing but stressed,

Any help is appreciated.

Joelle

[blondguy]

Hey Joelle 🙂

I was reading about BPD for a relative...and I found these...(a Govt website...not Dr Google)

• Elevated Mood...top of the world....full of energy...invincible
• Increased energy and over-activity
• Reduced need for sleep
• Irritability - the person may get angry and irritable with people who disagree or dismiss their sometimes unrealistic plans or actions
• Rapid thinking and speech - thoughts are more rapid than usual. This can lead to the person speaking quickly and jumping from topic to topic
• Recklessness - reduced ability for the person to foresee the consequences of their actions - spending large amounts amounts of money buying items that are not needed or required.
• Grandiose plans and beliefs - it is common for people experiencing mania to truly believe they are unusually talented or gifted...Often religious beliefs intensify their feelings

Thats quoted straight off the Victorian Govt health website....Excuse I for sticking my beak in Joelle

You are a gem

My kind thoughts

Paulxx

[spunkyturtle]

Wow may I ask why you don't trust your psychiatrist? If I didn't trust mine I wouldn't bother going back to see him.

1. Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment - not sure about this one.

2. Unstable and intense relationships - thinking no now, was with my ex four years. Although I have no friends and I cut people off without warning, no friends.

3. Lack of clear sense of identity - won't be manipulated, I don't adapt to which person I'm with. This is me, like it or leave it. So no I guess.

4. Impulsiveness - big yes.

5. Recurrent suicidal threats or gestures - no.

6. Severe mood swings and extreme reactivity to situational stressors - well can say yes from past experience.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness - yes.

8. Frequent and inappropriate displays of anger - I'd say no.

9. Transient, stress related feelings of unreality or paranoia - ummm, no.

Must have 5 to be BPD

[spunkyturtle]

My post has to be moderated, I must of typed a word that triggered it to be moderated

[lookingforme]

Hey Paul, thanks for the info, that sounds like Bipolar Disorder, which site it this? It isn't in line with what the psychiatrist told me, and doesn't describe me at all hah.

[spunkyturtle]

Does sound like bipolar, can I ask why you don't trust your psychiatrist looking for me

[lookingforme]

Hah, it doesn't register anymore that I am lookingforme. I was wondering what happened to that sentence there.

I get mixed signals and that puts me off completely. I'm invested one day and not the next. I realise that is part of the problem, but...I have thought about it, and it is never my first instinct to tell him anything. I feel he is inconsistent when it comes to taking me seriously. I have major trust issues so, when I feel I am not being taken seriously, it builds a wall. The thought of being completely honest about me to another person is also...discomforting. The thoughts play in my head, what if they can't help, what if they don't want to help, what if their care is disingenuous, what if they palm me off, what happens if I don't get better despite all the effort I am putting in, what if they say they don't want to help, what if they say they can't give me all the help I need? What if they think I'm getting too attached and decide to leave me etc. etc. Best not to trust and protect me from all of that. Which is counterproductive to getting better. I trust my psychologist more but the same thoughts and questions play out. What parts of me do I let her see? Everything? Nothing? What are the consequences of either, and how much is middle ground? I am at a stage where I have to detach completely from myself and my emotions so that I can get the information out. As fact. This has happened. Unfortunately, it gets us nowhere as she asks me how I feel about my self harm or about my values and my future, and I come up with shrugs, and responses like, am I supposed to be sad about the self harm? I know it's an issue because society thinks it's an issue, and I don't really know what I value, is it the same as what I want to be? She tells me our last session was productive because she knew what environment I grew up with me, I thought it was completely useless, so I wonder if it is productive if I don't feel I have walked away with anything.

Does that answer your question?

[lookingforme]

Hey Deb, just letting you know I replied, just may have said some...things...hah, we'll see if it comes through

[blondguy]

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au

My Best to you Joelle

Paulxx

[lookingforme]

Hey Paul,

Thanks for the site. I looked it up and that was Bipolar disorder you described. I looked up borderline personality disorder too, and it seems about right with me.

How come you're up?

[blondguy]

Hey Joelle

I slept in today...watching Alien (again) and Somewhere in Time....

Is it just me Joelle or are many people self diagnosing their problems? Just chasing your opinion 🙂

My Best. Paul xx