Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Elizabeth CP]

My aunt did riding for the disabled in England & when her condition worsened took up driving for the disabled. I have a photo of her in the horse & cart @ Windsor Palace. She loved it. My nephew also did Riding for the disabled in USA it really helped calm him & enabled him to cope the rest of the time. So Mrs Dools you are providing a valuable service & a bonus that it has a positive effect on your mood.

Since this thread is about coping when feeling upset, angry or out of control you have described another way that works for you. I guess there are times we need to shout or let our frustrations out but other times we need to find ways that calm us & make us feel good so we don't feel like exploding. The important aspects of your activity which makes it work are: it feels worthwhile, you are doing it at a level that suits you now (leaving the horses till confidence increases), it is in an environment that is pleasant & calming (many of us enjoy being outside with nice peaceful views) it is enjoyable. I think that makes the perfect formula for everyone to assess if their activities are likely to be beneficial & calming

[Wilma1]

Hi Doolhofs, she a chihuahua. She's the best thing since sliced bread. 3 k of pure love. Your horses experiences sound amazing. I've never been to close to a horse, city life. But sounds really good. Wishful

[Doolhof]

Hi Wishful,

We moved to the country 4 years ago. My last encounter with a horse was standing next to one for a photo with the horse and it bit me!

Your little dog is so cute. Our cat is twice the weight of your dog! She is a big fat lazy cat that does not want to exercise!

The horses really dislike flies on their faces as I guess we all do. Sometimes they try to rub their faces up against you to get rid of the flies. They also have fly nets to wear, they are a great help for the horses.

Don't think I would like to see a cranky horse! They are big animals.

[Wilma1]

Doolhofs, love the sound of that fat lazy cat. Horses have always freaked me, yet I love them. Magnificent animals. Your work sounds really interesting. Do you find it helps release tensions, anger etc? I've recently started walking Maggie to the park where everything is alive and beautiful. Every little thing helps. Have a good night Wishful

[White_Rose]

Hello Shelley

I have been thinking about you for a little while, especially about wanting to shout out but not being able to do so. Lots of things have changed for me in the past six months, not all good. What I want to say has come out of my experiences and how I see this relating to you.

Both my GP and psych tell me I am sensitive. Now I am repulsed by that word. I feel it makes me sound like a person with no backbone, always needing to be cared for and just too delicate to do anything for myself. Yet I have looked after myself for many years, coped with various disasters, albeit with help, and learned a great deal about me. So I had difficulty 'marrying' the different parts. One of the problems has been that no one has given me a definition of 'sensitive'.

Well, to cut to the chase, because of various events I came to read a book called Highly Sensitive People in an insensitive world. The author is Ilse Sand. The copy I read I got from the library but thought it so good I bought my own copy. The author describes a group of people, approximately one in five, who have these sensitive characteristics. It's not a new discovery and has been called by different names in the past, such as inhibited, anxious, and shy. This describes how the person appears to others when the highly sensitive person feels unsupported and unsafe.

Highly sensitive people have a very delicate nervous system. We register more nuances, and overall the inputs we receive go deeper into our system. We have a great imagination and lively inner world, which means that the inputs and impressions we receive from the outside can trigger a multitude of of concepts, associations and thoughts. In this way our 'hard drive' is quickly filled and we will feed over-stimulated. This is a quote from the book.

Basically it says sensitive people can only manage so much stimulation before getting over-whelmed and tired. The person prefers small gathering or one to one interactions. I do not have the words to summarise the book but I found it quite revealing and I immediately thought of you. If your local library can get a copy for you I think you will find it helpful. I think you are one the sensitive group. Just reading about hitting a punchbag in your mind and how you find it difficult is part of this personality. Sensitive folk find it hard to hurt others in any way but are very caring and empathic. Sounds like you sweetie.

If you do read this, will you let me know what you think?

Mary

[Croix]

Dear White Rose

I hope don't mind an observation from a stranger but your quote hit a chord with me.

I've often thought that to be a successful poster, able to understand and able to respond meaningfully to the posts of others in these forums demands a highly sensitive person - sensitive being a term I regard with esteem.

As this purely written and unwieldy form of communication is devoid of so much that we rely upon in face to face or even just spoken interaction it takes someone special to able to wring the last drop of meaning and circumstance from a post in order to supply a really meaningful reply.

The paradox being I feel that such sensitivity sits alongside the potential to be hurt more easily and thus requires more bravery or 'backbone' than would otherwise be the case when deciding to try to help others (and be helped too of course)

Anyway - my regards

Croix

[White_Rose]

Hello Croix

Thank you for your comments, much appreciated. Yes the highly sensitive people are more easily hurt. It takes a lot of energy to write in here and post on more than one thread. For the highly sensitive person (HSP) ironically it is a good way to 'talk' because there are no other people around to distract you or to over-stimulate. Yes, written communication poses its own potential problems because you cannot read speech inflexions or body language. However, it is also possible to read between the lines I have found, and also misread between the lines.

Interesting that you say it takes courage to be helped. I have found that the HSP does hesitate to ask for help for fear of being too intrusive and bothering others. If you should read the book I mention I would be interested in your comments.

Thanks for talking

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mary,

I have read your post to me a couple of times now, the first time with tears threatening to fall. I think it was because of your kindness, time you gave to me and the fact you called me sweetie. It is a beautiful post Mary.

Yes I can relate to quite a bit you said there about highly sensitive people. Even the bit you posted to croix about being a bother to others.

I hate the thought of people hurting and if I have caused it, it is doubly worse. And I am easily hurt by seeing others hurt. Sometimes it feels like it breaks my heart. I also can be easily hurt by the way people treat me too sometimes. And I have had to learn to forgive others quickly. And I have had to learn also to open up to a few trusted people about what is happening inside my heart. Often when I am hurt by others, I look to see why it is that I am hurt. Mostly I find that I have placed an unknowingly expectation on them to be a certain way.( I am not sure if that last bit is related to what you were saying, but it is something that I have learnt at this support group I go to)

I definitely prefer extremely small gatherings, and like to have one person to myself to listen and chat with at one time. The thought of a lot of people sends me into a feeling of wanting to hide under a quilt. In fact I use to hide a lot when growing up when we visited relatives places.

I definitely think deeply about things, but sometimes don't always understand stuff. Unless it has something to do with emotions and feelings.

I have already googled the author you mentioned, and came across a short video in sub titles. So I watched that, the bit that stuck out the most to me was someone that is highly sensitive can just sit and look out a window for a long time. I do that and get carried away in my thoughts or imagination to the point where the dishes are still left waiting to be washed up. It is like a go into another world or something.

Anyway thank you so much Mary, I feel like there is another (you) that is understanding me or interested in me as a person or something. It's a nice feeling. And I will look into seeing if the library has the book, as I am interested to read it.

Love

Shelley

[pipsy]

Hi guys. I too am extremely sensitive. I used to feel quite ashamed as I thought people would say I was overreacting. Recently at work as part of our ongoing training (we transport people who are unable to drive), anyway a retired minster turned counselor came in to talk about PTSD. I discovered my sensitivity is because of this debilitating condition. We have an extremely aggressive person with us at the moment. She is also quite depressed, but denies it as (in her view) depression/PTSD is rubbish. With depression as with PTSD, the person can be extremely sensitive to violence, loud unexpected noise etc. My PTSD means I am unable to sleep in a dark room with the door shut. I have difficulty breathing, it's not to be confused with claustrophobia as claustrophobia means being in any enclosed space is almost mission impossible. If I sleep in a dark room with the door shut, I panic, I feel trapped, breathing becomes laboured. This aggressive angry person at work triggers the violent background I grew up with, hence the PTSD. My w'mates understand and will assist me by getting me out of the room - fast.

Lynda

[White_Rose]

Hello Sweetie

Thank you for your lovely reply. I hoped that what I wrote would be read the same way. Not always the case. I have thought this description fits you for a while. I hesitated to write in case you were upset in some way. HSP can communicate quite well with each other so I should not have been so hesitant.

Have a great week. I am off to see someone as part of my pastoral care role.

Mary