Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Shell,

I have been / am where you are.

Look after you. Hopefully the rest will fall into place

Stressless

[Doolhof]

Dear Shelley,

The words you wrote about needing and desiring your husband to love you as you want him to are words I could have written myself.

Over the years I have realised I can not count on others to bring me happiness. Only I can do that for myself. I am not saying that I do not desire to be loved and recognised by my husband, for sure I still desire and need that.

By finding ways to release a sense of peace and self worth within myself, my intense hunger for recognition from my husband is not so consuming.

Words that help me at present are : Acceptance, Forgiving, Hope and Focusing on Options to make each day as good as it can be.

Struggling to me makes me realise there are things that I want to change!

Hugs to you from Mrs. D.

[Guest_1055]

I am sorry you have experienced this type of pain Velv. It's heart wrenching. Sometimes it feels like a piercing in your very soul. Well it does for me... Good on you for going to the gym. I have been trying to keep exercising as I know it is a good thing. I ended up walking around the block here several times last night.

I am still feeling a deep sadness. Please though Velv, I do not want you to feel like I am dumping emotional stuff onto you. ( mmm I read that you felt like that from other people in your life)

me xx

🐸

[velvetfaerie]

Yay for the walk shell 😎😎

You aren’t dumping on me. Here, BB, I believe is a place where we share and help and talk about not only our troubles but have food fights, and really chat about all sorts. My friends don’t understand the balance concept.

I am about to go raid the coffee in prep for, MORE GYM... exciting as this morning we have all new class formats. Hello muscles 😬😬😬😬

xx❤️🌹🌹

[Guest_1055]

Thanks for your message Elizabeth. And yeah I have considered individual counselling. As you know I go walking with my sister quite regular. But it is not only walking, she listens to me as well. Because we were raised the same she understands a lot. She often gives me suggestions coming from her own life experiences.

But certainly talking with a counsellor like one on one has come into my thoughts before. So I am still pondering this idea. This group thing is quite heavy and can be extremely emotional at times. And I go once a week for two hours. It has been helpful. It is like a class/ support thing where we cover different topics. The last one was on co dependency. It can take me a while to comprehend everything.

Anyway thanks Elizabeth

Shell xx

[Elizabeth CP]

I would definitely keep spending time with your sister. It is great to have someone you can just be yourself with & socialise & forget your problems while enjoying each others company. The group session sounds good too. I think some individual sessions would give you the chance to discuss hings you can't or don't want to talk about with others. Because of their experience they can give suggestions to help your specific issues.

[Croix]

Dear Shell~

I read about hte rodents and thought I'd rely here in your thread. That sort of fear is so consuming, it defies reason and logic - it just is. Even when one knows the cause it does not always seem to help.

Do you think this fear is something you might take a course for to de-sensitize you? I understand they can be quite successful. I know someone who overcame a dread of spiders that way. She is not exactly keen on them, but can deal with their appearance without hassle.

Croix

[Guest_1055]

Hi croix, yes that particular fear of mine has been consuming my thoughts and emotions a lot. Though late yesterday I was able to go into the kitchen when someone else was in there. So I was not by myself.

I looked up the word de sensitise and found out that it was like a gradual exposure to whatever it was that one is fearful of. Even the thought of doing this...scares me.

Also I have had the thought that when I am struggling a lot with other things, which I have been , well this particular fear comes to the surface more. Or it is more extreme.

I appreciate your time that you gave to me in posting to me Croix. Makes me feel like I matter.

🙂 I hope you are having an okay sort of day there.

Shell

[Guest_1055]

Hi Elizabeth, yes I understand what you are saying about having sessions like one on one. It would be more private.I have not dismissed the idea of it. I am glad you are finding it helpful in your own life.

Thankyou so much for writing in here, I know you are struggling a lot in your own life at the moment, so please do not feel you need to post to me or anything. Please feel no pressure, you are free. I do appreciate that you did though.

Lovingly concerned for you

Shell x

[Guest_1055]

Oh I am glad you do not feel I am dumping stuff on you. I would hate to do that Velv.

I am interested to know about the new format in the sessions at the gym that you have done. You could post on the walking/ exercise thread if you would rather.

I have been struggling to motivate myself much, but I have been walking around the block at night. So I guess that is a good thing.

And I understand what you mean about balance it can become to heavy otherwise.

Shell xx