Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Steph and Taurus,

You are welcome in regards to the hug Steph. Yeah it's true I do think that I should be more active and move about more. I sit down for far too like long. Logically I know this is far from healthy, but my emotions sometimes appear to win. I am quite sick of this to be honest. I will be going to the gym later though. I do hope your emotions are more stable then mine today. Anyway did you get out moving somehow?

Taurus...I cried when I read your words that you are very proud of me. I believe inwardly I have desired to hear those words. I think that desire stems from childhood and even now, I don't recall at all, any family members or parents ever showing or saying that to me. So it was just encouraging to hear it. It makes me what to keep going and that you are on the same side as me or something like that.

I urge you on to keep going with any exercise. Maybe you could walk on the beach when it is cooler and take your cute little dog with you. Thanks for checking up on me too Taurus.

So what did you get in your mail? Anything good. We received a magazine.

Hugs to both of you.

Shell xxx

Ps.... thanks for noticing my poem Taurus, I did read yours also Steph, before I posted mine. But they are no longer there now.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Steph and Taurus,

I hope you both are okay today. I have written a post that included both of you, but it hasn't popped up as yet. Thanks heaps for thinking of me.

Shell xx

[monkey_magic]

Hi Shelley,

Im the same,I let my emotions get the better of me too...the fact that u go to the gym is something to b proud of...be proud of yourself too.

Yeh my poems have been taken down. I wrote them in a way I understand but can c how someone might read it differently & b triggered.

Im admitting things to myself & Bb today...good therapy. & reading your post & others has been enlightening.

Enjoy your gym session.

Hello Taurus

[Guest_9809]

Hello to you too Steph. Sorry your poems were taken down from the "Social" forum it was posted to. Perhaps you could consider re-posting them onto your Trauma Forum thread about DV instead? They would be more suited there and people will know before going in there that it may be triggering for them. Nobody is likely to stumble upon them unknowingly then, as they might in the Social pages.

Shell - Just some promotional stuff in todays mail, plus a catalogue. Nothing to get excited about certainly. I am happy to cause some happy tears by praising you for a job well done. I AM PROUD of you, and I think you're amazing! What a shame you cant see that yourself.

Taurus xx

[Music_Freak]

How did I not even know this thread existed?! Whoopsie.

I'll try my best to join in from now on, when appropriate and may read the thread in it's entirety tonight when the boredom hits

[MarkJT]

Shell, to read those words, "I feel peaceful"...is so awesome. I remember that feeling that after so much pain and fight within me, i settled and felt peace. Was exhilarating.

Even though this peace did not last it was so good to know that it was still within me to feel that. I so hope that you felt like that to.

Great stuff.

Mark.

[Croix]

Dear Shell~

Once again you have given something precious in

Staying well/ Store Your Happy Memories Here:

That Christmas morning is special, how time with your mum focusing just on you overshadows even the lovely present. Wonderful.

Actually the last few words I can use myself sometimes "just keep pedaling"

Thank you

Croix (who likes you waffling on like that to Dottie)

[white knight]

Hi Shell,

I've been a tinker, jack of all trades master of none all my life. My mania carved that path because I'd loose stimulation quickly so would move onto the next task.

I'd never built a caravan but like everything I've done, I'd ask other, do research and learn the hard way.

We owned a trike so wanted to build a full height short van to tour Oz with. The aim was to build it lightweight at only 300kg. So l welded steel together, built the van and weighed it....450kg. Oppps.

We then made the decision to sell the c trike and buy a vintage looking car convertible sports car called a JBA Falcon. Google it in images and youll see them. It now tows our van.

The van is still very light fully loaded at 700kg so its easy to tow. We'll go north every winter to Queensland as the winters in the Victorian hills are too long. We camp in free camps one day a week in a caravan park.

Tony WK

[Guest_1055]

Hi dear Steph,

Regrading emotions..... I could see yours changing all around at times it sort of comes through behind what you say. My emotions have been up and down and mixed up today. Feelings from frustration ( the punch out frustration), anger, sort of irritable, thankfulness,confusion in the mind, a little bit of the happy, a bit of sad, a little bit of peacefulness and a little bit of wanting to just ran away from whatever. I have also had episodes of crying. So yeah....

If you haven't looked at what you are eating Steph, but I am thinking you properly do. Well anyway..... I have noticed when I only eat mainly unprocessed, wholefoods, no junk at all. My emotions are much more calmer and don't tend to jump around as much. The last couple of days, I have not been so diligent in that. I ate a collection of chocolate bars, because I was feeling sad, and because they were only $1 each at Woolworths. Not a good idea for me to eat them, but they were calling out to me big time. Sugar pretty much always has a negative effect on my emotions. And I was wondering if perhaps it is the same for you is all?

Hugs

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Taurus, Narelle, Mark, Mr Croix and Tony.

I came back to this thread in hope to answer you all, but I only managed to write to Steph. My brain is not focusing very good now. My words just won't flow out from within good. But I did read all your replies. So thank you very much. I will attempt again, when my mind is clearer.

With thankfulness and kindness

Shell xx