Just want to Shout out

Guest_1055 · ‎12-11-2016

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

Guest_1055 · ‎30-12-2016

Ah Mr Woof,

That is nice of you to pop in here. Hope you are okay there??

My Christmas was better then previous years and indeed I am feeling so much more peaceful then before. Thanks heaps for asking.

And yes I do remember that you like a lot of the music from the 198O's. Especially "electric dreams", a song you turn up loud at your place. Let's see what else, I remember about you. .....

You liked the cinnamon scrolls your mum use to make, as you once said the ones I made for you in the BBcafe reminded you of them. You own a bright green ute. You have a very large fluffy dog, that I think use to be your daughters, though I could be wrong about that one. You live on a steep block of land which you landscaped. You have a couple of precious grandchildren. And you became a member of BB in January.

Anyway thanks for sharing yourself and I hope the new year will be filled of new and special things for you.

Love Shelleybelly xx

Guest_1055 · ‎30-12-2016

Oh you are welcome anytime to receive a hug from me hopeful. I am quite a huggy sort of person. And you are welcome in regards to the box of hope too.

Do you normally do anything on New Years Eve? We often drive to the rooftop of a large shopping centre and watch some fireworks from there. Then we sit on the driveway and have sparklers. I am not too keen on parties though.

Much love to you Hopeful, and indeed there is always hope.

Shell xx

Guest_1055 · ‎14-01-2017

Long to believe the words above "indeed there is always hope". What a stupid thing for me to say to someone else, because I don't feel like there is any in my life at the moment. Not one single bit. I actually punched a real punching bag a couple of days ago. I found out it is quite solid.

I have gone from feeling so...so much better over the last month to a feeling of being frustrated, fed up, hopeless, sad, angry ,scared and other emotions. Just when you think all will be well, then it isn't. It comes from wherever it comes and whispers failure. I want to shout out, but the tears are there instead.

Just need to vent is all...

Guest_322 · ‎15-01-2017

Hi Shelley,

Hope, huh? Yeah, I agree that finding hope is hard sometimes- like a flickering light. It sounds like you needed the punching bag. I hope it was at least a little carthatic (even if your knuckles were a bit sore afterwards).

It must be so disheartening and exhausting to be feeling this way- back on the emotional merry-go-round (again). I have no idea why but sometimes the blues and greys appear when you least expect. Go on...have your cry...maybe it's not what you want but maybe it's what you need.

Virtual hugs,

Dottie x

Wilma1 · ‎15-01-2017

Shelley, I just popped in and found you sad, so here is a hug. I know it's not much, but sometimes it helps just a little bit to get those tears out. I'm sorry you are feeling low. I know the roller coaster ride and I have no idea why it happens this way. We are with you, you are not on your own. Hopeful.

Croix · ‎15-01-2017

Dear Shelley Anne~

I look at your avatar and I always see you as the big girl successfully hauling the basket of life's bounty away from a couple of minors that try to pull it away, but are smaller and not as strong and only get to hold things back a little sometimes.

I know - it's silly and probably miles from why you chose it.

Croix

Starwolf · ‎15-01-2017

Shelle-Belle, I just walked past your thread and saw you crying.

Lets sit together a moment, rest that weary head on my shoulder... here's a big hug... and a reminder that the progress made, those good feelings of last month are yours to keep. Nothing can take them away from you. They will still be there, waiting for you when this wave of depression has passed. And pass it will, because that's what waves do.

Meanwhile, let tears flow. It is OK to feel disappointed, frustrated, angry and scared when good times are left on pause and replaced by sadness. Let the pause run its course.

It's going to be OK.

Elizabeth CP · ‎15-01-2017

I will second all the things said by others in reply to your recent post. Just remember you were feeling much better & really progressed so this is a temporary lull in your progression. You will get back on track. In the meantime I want you to remember how much you reached out & encouraged me. That can't be taken away. I read somewhere that without sadness we wouldn't appreciate joy. You have also developed empathy which enables you to reach out to others who are struggling and you do this so well. Look after yourself & don't give up. Do whatever helps you feel better until you are back to your normal self.

Guest_1055 · ‎15-01-2017

Hello dear Dottie,

Thank you heaps for the hug and you are right it does feel disheartening. Almost like a "let down" sort of feeling. And yes I do let the tears just fall, I have never been one to hold them in, except when I was growing up.

I do hope you are alright, and I still remember you talking about the wall. May some love just seep on through it into the hole in your heart that you also said you felt.

Shell xxx

PS ....your reply helped me feel important as you gave me your time in posting it, as did the others here.

Guest_1055 · ‎15-01-2017

Hello Hopeful,

Your hug to me said a lot, and I always like hugs. Thank you for coming across from your thread home and popping into here. I think you mentioned about roller coasters before, and how you don't want to ride them. Well I think it was you..... I long for you not to be on one.

In kindness to you

Shell xx