It was all my fault

[buster11]

Hi again - I'm not asking for sympathy nor understanding, a chat perhaps. I met an amazing lady about 2yrs ago and she took me in and cared for me amazingly. I was still seeing a lady that I'd spent time with previously but didn't and don't love at all, it was just companionship. I did the worse thing ever and slept with her again. Absolutely no idea why and I have regretted every second since. My partner who I just love beyond belief found out and we have been trying to work things out. The only thing is she has a really hard time dealing with it at times. For the past 2yrs it will be mentioned or more questions and it turns into a nightmare for me. I have done everything I can to write this horrible wrong but cant seem to get the chance to move on. About 3 weeks ago it came up again and out of frustration I've started harming myself because its something that keeps hitting in the face and just wont go away. I deserve everything I'm getting and dealing with but need it to go away (not forgotten) so we can both hopefully enjoy everything in front of us.

[buster11]

Many many discussions and sessions with professionals striving to believe in myself and working so so hard to create a better now to forget the past and move forward.

That's my point it all seems so useless when I keep being reminded and taken back to the beginning.

Thanks for your time and advice though Guest, I'm never going to give up. But OMG it's hard and hurts. I'm sorry you don't that touch and tenderness ATM, everyone deserves that!!

[startingnew]

Hi Buster

im sorry you keep gettting dragged back to the beginning.

i can see that your really trying to help yourself as well as make your relationship work and be better.

im sorry that shes not trying as well, i hope one day she can open her eyes and forgive you rather than dragging it all back up again

[buster11]

Hi female SN

She keeps saying that she wants to forget the events and past but after a number of weeks it'll be thrown at me again. I've been researching narcissist behaviour - hmmmm

How are you going? I hope you've been studying and kicking goals?

[startingnew]

hey

hmm she needs to put in abit more effort i think if she really does want this change for the better

i had a bad day yesterday and struggling with S I and ended up harming yet again. sigh.....

today i found out the results of my second course and i needed to pass with 60% i passed with 93! so im quite happy about that

[buster11]

Female SN i'm so sorry you harmed??

Great great result on your course - see its the good that we crave and really lap that stuff up 🙂 WELL DONE!!!

[monkey_magic]

The best I got is a cyber pizza. Can I make you one of those strong girl? What topping would ya like? U can get through this star, I just know u can.

Sending lots of love and good strong energy...

I care babe, I care xox

[buster11]

Great advice Guest!!

I agree with Guest SN. Like I said lap up the good stuff and know the bad is only temporary.

[startingnew]

Yes unfortunatly I gave in the the urges I had, yes the results are pretty good. Most certainly not what I expected considering I struggled heaps with that course.


Since its a cyber pizza Guest id love a hawaiian with lots of pineapple. Im suppose to be on a diet shhh dont tell my hips lol. and thank you

thank you to both of you for your support it means alot xoxoxox

[buster11]

Guess what?...........I'm doing pizza tonight for the kids

[startingnew]

Haha thats great! Hopr you have a blast