It's coming back

[RunGirl]

Hi....this is my first post. I've always fought the black dog. Recently I beat a plethora hurdles and bad situations.....near death experience, two months in hospital, 7 surgeries, prescription pill addiction, isolation living overseas, increasingly abusive relationship, PTSD. I RAN, I resettled in Aus, i got work, I found myself in love again...I was happy and energetic. But It's coming back. I read somewhere when you don't want to get out of bed, you know you're getting bad again. I have a beautiful new partner. I'm just so tired all the time. I've put on weight which he likes but I can't forget the words of disgust from my ex when I wasn't stick thin. I need some perspective and support guys

[BballJ]

Hi RunGirl,

I know awaiting results is tough but just go there with as much of a positive mindset that you can and understand that regardless of the results the doctors will be able to help you and get you through it. It is ok to vent, that is exactly what we are here for.

My best,

Jay

[RunGirl]

Jay, my tests came back worse than last time. What do you know about "stages" of fatty liver and what should be eating/not eating? no alcohol of course but I need to know more. I'm a bit lost here.

best

RG

[BballJ]

Hi RunGirl,

I am sorry to hear that, I started doing research on the internet about fatty liver and I was told to up my greens as I think it was the chlorophyll in them that really helps the liver. My understanding is that it can be reversed too, what did the doctor suggest? I remember watching a documentary on cutting our sugar and the person doing it when they increased their sugar in take started showing signs of fatty liver, I assume the sugar has a big part to do with it so I started lowering the sugar I was eating. Always follow what the doctor says to do but.

My best,

Jay

[RunGirl]

Just to keep all the lovely people who have backed me up recently in the loop...the depression seems to be lifting somewhat, which is great. The anxiety is still a problem and my liver isn't great so that's worrying....but that grave depression is definitely lifting a bit. love to you all.

RunGirl

[Croix]

Dear Rungirl~

Thanks, I'm very happy for you that the depression is lifting, it makes a world of difference in how you regard the other problems. While I have no first-hand knowledge I believe the liver is an organ that can regenerate under most circumstances. I'd guess your doctor could fill you in, particularly if you get the technical jargon watered down.

Croix

[RunGirl]

Guys, I've identified a problem within myself which I sort of knew about before but is crystal clear now: self sabotaging. to get to the nitty gritty without all kinds of past examples and philosophising..... I have a weakened liver from medication, septic shock and previous spells of alcohol abuse. The specialist was quite clinical and curt with me and gave me dramatic worst case scenarios. She told me not to touch alcohol. I'm still drinking BECAUSE NOBODY CAN STOP ME. Bad. Any comments? (btw I don't drink spirits, i drink wine and not till I'm a staggering mess....but enough that this particular doctor will give a dressing down the next time we meet. I don't deal well with being berated or scolded, because of my abusive past. I start wanting to crawl under the desk or behind the door, wherever feels safer).. Psychological glitch. Anyone????

[geoff]

hi RG, I've just logged on a bit late so I'm sorry.

Isn't it amazing we sort of know what is wrong with us but we just need something so that we can actually recognise it, clearly recognise it to the point where we can mentally understand.

I'm sorry about what the medication has done to your liver, exactly the same has happened to me, plus my previous history of alcohol, trying to hide what was wrong.

The number of times I was told by my doctor and psychologist when I was suffering badly from my depression years ago, that I need to stop drinking was endless, but the problem wasn't so much the drinking it was my depression that was causing the problem.

I wanted to walk out the door once they started telling me off, but I remained to continue on with my counselling. Geoff.

[RunGirl]

It's a vicious circle, isn't it, Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Rungirl~

I'm not sure if this is quite the same think but from a very early age I smoked heavily. This was, as I thought, a huge part of me. It was used for everything from social situations, to relaxation, to concentration, to professional advantage and all sorts of things. I was well aware it was doing me a deal of harm and like you it started to have physical consequences.

Even so I could not give up, my own welfare was insufficient motive. It was only when I married someone whose partner had died of lung-cancer I gave up (she had not said a word, just fretted terribly). It was something outside myself that worked.

Croix.

[BballJ]

Hi RunGirl,

Apologies for the delay in between my posts, have been dealing with some personal stuff. How have you been since last posting?

My best,

Jay