Im new. Unsure how to start.

[Sapphire_]

Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.

[demonblaster]

Hey dear Sapphire 🤗

Early hug cause I'm so happy for how you're going. I hope you're feeling better in yourself too although there's challenges you're meeting them and working through. This is the great thing about time, it brings on changes including in our mindsets and yours is powering.

The blanket sorry can't remember is that knitting or crochet. It's possible I said this before I read a couple of fiction knitting theme books they were great both a group of people and their stories, truth in fiction one said knitting is cathartic and I've heard it since on other media so I imagine crochet would be too. ☺ I checked the dictionary to see if cathartic was the right word and it didnt say 😄 said something that is cathartic gives the feeling of catharsis lol and the example didnt explain either 🤔

I know not the same situation but not long ago I was feeling same about grog for about 3 days and now I drink occasionally or socially so apart from distraction I also couldn't afford it so kept reiterating that and same I'm in the throws of yet again sigh giving up the durries so I'm going to work on accessing the rational rusty part ☺ working again. I'm not sure about alcohol but a friend said research has shown food cravings last only 3 minutes so maybe similar and with distraction maybe look around the room and either think or just look at different things as Grandy was saying our minds keep thinking so that might help darl

I've been thinking a lot about your speech pathology course, love you're interested in that, communications a major need and if our most basic form of talking is affected we need other ways. Anytime if you want to talk about it I'd love to hear. Good on you on so many levels 👍

How's the weight loss going Sapphire, hoping you're feeling good about that too.

You said recently at times you can't eat, is that through pain or mentally cause maybe pureed food if pain. I think a bit after you said you were managing.

Hope family backs off a bit for your sake 🙂 sounds as tho it's out of love but sometimes we need to teach people how to apply more gently

Keep at it lovey you're starting to come out the other side. Boom, one strong lady 🤗💙

[Ggrand]

Hello Sapphire,

Very well done with the temptations, I'm so proud of you..

Sapphire, can I ask you please..Do you crotech, knit or sew the blankets...I used to crotech but not now. Good your keeping busy..

im happy you liked the rose and chocolate...I also LOVE chocolate..it's my go to when I'm sad..

Sapphire, I'm sorry sweetheart, my words are suck somewhere in my mind...lol..I think beasty decides to go and round then up then take all our positives and Kind thoughts, care, etc, and put them in a cage, then lock with a combination lock on the door, then every time we win a round that lock gets one combination undone, when we win enough rounds and the combination is becoming un done..we can then start to get our normals back, if we continue to win rounds we start getting our happies back....sorry I rambled, but I'm trying not to think about what beasty's rambling on about to me....Sapphire, one round at a time sweetheart, slow and steady etc..

If anything my vent gave you a few minutes of distraction, I'm sorry I hi jacked your thread...

Sapphire have you checked out the sleep thread done by Dools, it's good and has helped me a little, maybe Yu could have a read if you feel like it...

Take care Sapphire, I'll bbl if that's okay.

Kind and caring 🤗

Granndy..

[startingnew]

Hi Sapphire

its great to hear from you. im really glad youve stayed away from the alcohol and your sounding like your doing some really positive things for yourself. i love the idea of making your friends a blanket. what a loveley gift!

what are some other things that you like to do or might like to do?

[Sapphire_]

Hello Deebi, Grandy, Starts and all.

Thank you all for your lovely posts. Im not too well atm. Had to go see the gp today. He thinks i might either have Gallstones or an ulcer in my stomach. I have to have an ultrasound done tomorrow morning so i guess that will tell us something.

The blanket is crochet. I can knit too but prefer crochet espesh for larger projects like blankets.

Ive also been trying to quit smoking. Its so hard. Wish i could just quit cold turkey. Maybe i should just not buy anymore smokes after this pack and see how long i will last. I dont even like smoking anymore. It makes me feel sick. But i just keep doing it.

Weightloss has stopped which is so disheartening. Its been 3 weeks sinve i lost any. Actually today i weighedmyself and i lost half a kg. So far total is 34.2kgs down. It should be more. I really need to start exercising with weights. Just disappointed that ive been going through hell with my tummy and not lost anything for 3weeks. Its put me in a downer. Anything i eat or drink has been causing me pain and i read in the paper today that gut health is linked with mental health. I guess it could be true sinse its all affecting me.

Grandy the same thing happens to me when im feeling low. Makes my brain shut off and no words. I like your way of explaining it. You by no means have hijacked this thread. Your always welcome here and enjoy seeing you here. I will have to check out that thread for sleep. I havent seen it yet. Thanks for suggestion.

Starts its been so long since ive done anything ive enjoyed that ive forgotten what i like doing. I will have to try some new things i guess and figure out what i like doing.

Hope you all have a good night sleep.

Xx

[demonblaster]

Ouch to both Sapphire hi ☺ Hope you get an answer from ultrasound you had today. Looks like they can say more these days with them. I was asking one on a recent one. She said they can say more and another bloke doing Xrays said same. Probs depends on a few things.

Yip crochet, think I told you about a young friend no one could believe her speed, you couldnt see what she was doing.

Yeah this is my last pkt of durries, financially crippling then health but should be in reverse order. I'm kicking myself, worse I made late partner give up with me, had to and we did for 6 bloody yrs and I didnt take it up again for a few mths after he left. Grrr cost thousands in 3 yrs. Broke as. What annoys me is mostly I'm ok giving up. Think its a form of self harm knowing we shouldnt but beastys claws.

34.2kg's is fantastic hun, maybe think about that more so.With weightloss we plateau at times but try not to be discouraged, the body adjusts then it'll happen again. Great feeling losing that much isnt it.Excercise is helpful too, good idea cause also good for MH stress release, helps with sleep, suggest do it earlier than closer to bed time. Ease into it

Gotta book I need to get back about gut health, yes I've heard it's linked to MH too. I think our feel good chemicals are produced there or tummy. Depression can come from constipation too.

Hope todays easier both healths darl 💙⚘

Hey guys ☺💗💜❤🤗

[Sapphire_]

Heya Deebi, Grandy, Starts and all.

Sorry ive not been around much. Ive been so sick. Can barely function. Sending me down again.

Seen the psychiatrist yesterday re meds. He has taken me off the antianxiety ones and put me on something else. Started those tonight. Im a bit worried because on the leaflet it says for the first few weeks it might increase the suicidal thoughts. I already been fighting those urges so hard this week dont need it getting worse.

Take care. Love and hugs xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Sapphire,

Saphhire I'm really sorry your so sick, please sweetheart don't let it pull you down..,you are stronger then this depression, we all are, i know this, and I'll prove it one day...

Keep talking here, as much as you can..Just wondering have or do you like writing poems or fantasy escapes..I can only do them especially the fantasy escapes when I feel trapped and want an out..I can't do them when I'm well..Do you want to give it a try?

I make it a no no ❌🚫 not read the leaflet, I think it makes you worry about what you've read then your thinking about it or waiting for it to happen..so then your worrying more....

Keep talking here Sapphire if you need to vent, there is usually one of us around that will reply we're usually not far away...Okkaay..dear lady..💼..umm I have some flowers 💐💐🍃🍀🌱🌿🌹 for you to make your room smell relaxing..and a cuddly fluffy 🤗..for tonight,

I hope you sleep well, tonight and your day tomorrow is better then today..Please Sapphire stay in touch if you can so we know how your going..

Warm and kind 🤗.

Grandy..

[Sapphire_]

These new meds have stuffed me up. Im a zombie. I can hardly hold myself upright. Im so weak and tired. Thinking maybe they arent right for me. I dont want to take them. Not if this is how i am going to be. I just feel like something is not right.

[Ggrand]

Hello Sapphire,

Sweetheart, please stay on the meds until you can get back to your dr and tell him/her they are not working properly..

Your strong Sapphire, you can get through this, I know you can....Were all here..holding your hand holding you up until your able to do so yourself..try for as much sleep as you can get..I'm not far away tonight if you need/want to talk...

sleep well.

lots of warm hugs 🤗🤗.

Grandy

[startingnew]

Hey Sapphire

Im wondering if your able to give your psychs office a ring and say your having an unwanted side effect and ask if you could get some advice on what to do? They might transfer you to have a quick chat to your psychiatrist and they can let you know how to proceed...

Hugs and hugs xox