Im new. Unsure how to start.

Sapphire_ · ‎11-08-2017

Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.

Sapphire_ · ‎26-09-2017

Hey Everyone.

Sorry I haven't been on to let you know how I'm going. I've been super busy. Trying to keep myself occupied to stop thoughts sneaking into my head.

I have day therapy today. They are coming to pick me up shortly. Hopefully I will be able to see the psych today. I have a bit of anxiety about going back and being around so many people. I know I have to go or I will be sent straight back to hospital. So I just have to try and participate as much as I can to get better.

Trying to stay positive 🙂

startingnew · ‎26-09-2017

hi Sapphire

its good to hear from you 🙂

its normal to feel nervous around other people unless your a socilaite then thats another story but i find alot of people are nervous going to these things.

how did your session go today?

demonblaster · ‎26-09-2017

Ahhh good to hear from you. Hey Starting 🙂

Was thinking & wondering quite a bit how you're going Sapphire, thx comin in with update.
Figured you were busy cause it's all starting to happen, getting the help you need.

That's ok darl, agree with Starting, normal to be nervous. Lot of stuff being stirred up but sticking with it all's with help & you've always got us too, & good you know it's all part of healing.

Tc

Sapphire_ · ‎01-10-2017

Hello everyone.

Ive been so busy. I hardly have time to even have time for myself. My suster moved in with us. I have a rent inspection coming up. We had carpets put in and attending therapy daily. Finally im going on a cruise on wednesday. Its a 4 day cruise and im actually looking forward to relaxing. Although my hubby thinks he needs to be with me at all times due to my suicidal thoughts. He is worried about me jumping over board or something. I dont know how to reassure him that I will be fine and don't need a baby sitter.

Therapy has been so hard. Going over the events that lead to my last attempt. They are trying to find my triggers and why I tried. Its hard to talk to them or to anyone really. Its easier on here because its anonymous i guess.

I feel like ive made a start to getting better and have been given some strategies to overcome these bad thoughts and negative thinking.

demonblaster · ‎02-10-2017

Sapphire how good to hear from you, have been thinking 🙂

Wow cruise sounds awesome darl, sure is heaps going on, carpet'd be refreshing aye

Soooo happy to hear you feel you're at the beginning of getting back up. WELL DONE for being so brave & it is hard going into the hard parts, what a trooper. Sooo proud of you.

When you return if you have time would you like to share the strategies to overcoming bad thoughts & negative thinking hun, entirely your call, no pressure, could be personal if so fully understand 🙂

Dear hubby worrying as a caring person would, so good to hear you saying not gunna happen

Thx for coming back & glad you feel safe here 🙂

Your turn for light (( ))

Enjoy cruise

Starwolf · ‎02-10-2017

Thank you for making my day.

It is so good to see you persisting in spite of difficulties. Figuring your triggers is the best prevention ever. It really sounds like your life has taken a turn for the best.

I'm glad your sister has moved in with you. It must have made a huge difference towards feeling less isolated. Having someone else around is also a good distraction. There are things to do and discuss.

A cruise ??? You lucky duck...Where to ? A good way to kick back, with all your needs catered for and a choice of entertainment.

I can understand your husband's concerns. Hopefully, he can see a positive change happening but yeah, it will be difficult for him, having lived through the fear of losing you. But I respect he courage he shows in letting you go, regardless.

I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am of you (and no doubt every other member who reads your last post).

Keep going, Sapphire and enjoy the cruise.

startingnew · ‎06-10-2017

hi Sapphie

we havent heard from you for a few days.. im wondering how your getting along?

xoxoxo

hello to Starwolf, DB, James and Sez as well. hope your all doing as well as you can be

xoxox

Sapphire_ · ‎10-10-2017

Hello all.

I just got back from my short 5 day cruise. I was sea sick the first few days due to bad weather/swells. I got back and realised that ive lost a very expensive watch that my hubby got me for an anniversary gift. Ive been forgetting a lot of things. I think its the meds. Im not really sure but i forget to take them too. Im struggling to cope, going on holiday wasn't as enjoyable as i thought it would be and i was so impatient and bad tempered with everything. I feel like i put a downer on the trip. Maybe it was too soon to go away.

Im back to therapy again tomorrow so hopefully that helps a bit. Im also starting a mindfulness programme this week. Im not sure what to expect from that. Im going in with an open mind.

Xx

demonblaster · ‎10-10-2017

HEY SAPPHIRE 😄 😄 😄 soo good to see ya, thx for keeping us tuned in

Bumma bout the cruise darl, I was going to say at least a change of scenery but feeling crook & blagghhh probs not aye

Good on you going in with an open mind, that's a must for mental recovery well in life is useful too.
The small chunks I've read & heard on mindfulness is really sounding like a very good tool, I've been in the thread here and like other threads I wanna get round to reading back more which eventually I hope to do. Time boots aye.

Sounds good for today Sapphs, keen to hear how you go, when you're ready

Do you feel overall a bit better than earlier days here? hope so

Sapphire_ · ‎15-10-2017

So I went to the mindfulness group and I feel like it might actually be helpful to me. Its all about being in the here and now. Being present instead of in my own little world. They gave us a file/booklet full of lots of different stuff, and a cd with different relaxation tools on it. I have to practice it everyday, which I haven't.

I quit smoking this week. Its been difficult because everytime I felt anxious i would go have a smoke. Now I have to find a different way to cope. I guess thats where the mindfulness should come in too. I downloaded a hypnosis app for quitting and its actually helped. I had a smoke yesterday and it tasted so gross and I was so disgusted by it that i could only have 2 drags and had to put it out.

I do feel like im not as bad as when I first came to this chat forum. When i first came here I was very distressed and was in a really dark scary place with no support or anyone to talk to. Now I have you guys, you all have truly been my rock. I have a MH team to support me. My husband is really supportive. It doesn't feel that dark at the moment even with my constant nightmares. The meds have probably helped a bit too.

Xx