I so lonely 😭 and I am tired of this

[Unicorndogge]

I don’t know how to start this but I am sick and tired of having no one to talk to and nothing to do. I sit at home and just do written jobs. No one even cares if I sit on my own all day.I have tried to talk to people that i went to school with but none of them have even showed any interest, I am so desperate. I cry myself to sleep most nights I can’t sleep because what’s the point. I am good at nothing which makes me un- useful. None of this youth groups can help me and my consular doesn’t know how to help either. I am so scared of what I have become, 20 and I have no friends or job even worse no one likes me. I just think what is the point of living when there is nothing to live for, this is cruel world. If anyone is reading this I am not forcing you to answer but if you do Thankyou very much.

[Unicorndogge]

I am so lonely I can’t sleep, everyone hates me. I don’t want to be here anymore.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Hayley

I am sorry I wasn't here to chat to you much yesterday and it sounds like you have had a really rough night. I am so very very sorry that you are feeling this bad and that you are feeling so unwanted and unloved and really are striving to find the purpose of it all. The thing is that you are still climbing that mountain called life and sometimes the journey is very torturous and filled with so much heartache and it isn't until you reach the top that you can see the wonder and the joy of the journey you have suffered. I feel like this is your journey at the moment Hayley and it is so very full of sadness and disappointment and really not what you are wanting out of your life. Keep going beautiful girl and climb that mountain, you will get to the top and see the magnificence of your efforts that you have achieved for you.

I LOVE the new picture, that is so colorful and bright and it makes me feel really happy, like massive bursts of spring and love. When I opened the thread this morning it was the first thing I saw at it really made me feel so happy and put a huge smile on my face...thank you.

I want to talk to you about these thoughts that you are having and I am wondering if it is time to reach out for some professional help? What do you think about that? Someone to actually give you something that can help you in these times when your thoughts are totally consuming you and making you feel so very bad. I know that it is alot to think about but you do need to take care of you and you matter so very much Hayley.

Do you have anything planned for today? A beach trip perhaps, even a walk so that you can get some nice fresh air and clear some of the fog.

Huge hugs to you and I am here and I care.

Sarah xxx

[Unicorndogge]

Hi Sarah

it’s okay I was a bit desperate yesterday, I almost went on one of those sites to talk to people but I knew that would of been stuipd.Luckily I eventually feel asleep. I don’t think anyone can help me with this I will just have to accept it.

i am glad you like to the picture, I did it yesterday. I am going to hang it on my wall. I am not doing anything only cleaning otherwise someone is going to get mad (dads girlfriend). I don’t think anyone can help me it’s just me, I blame my autism that is why no one wants me. I feel inadequate everyone my age is doing things and I want those things but I can’t get them, I don’t think I ever will be accepted. Alone for the rest of my life. To be honest I just want to die

hayley

[Aaronsis]

Hey Hayley

I am so very sorry that you feel like you just want to die, please if you are ever feeling so very bad you can always call one of the helplines, that is absolutely why they are there, it is not stupid at all and you are not being stupid to think to call one, infact it is the opposite it is very sensible. Your life matters and you matter so much and you should do whatever it is to feel safe and to feel comfort.

I don't just like your picture, I love it, it really is awesome Hayley and you should put it on your wall, it is so vibrant and I hope when you look at it it makes you feel happy, it made me feel really happy to see it. I think you are so very clever.

Can you tell me one thing that "everyone your age is doing", that you wish you were doing? Let's see if we can't together figure out how to make some things happen for you??? what do you think???

Huge hugs to you and I just know you will not be alone for the rest of your life Hayley, you want to make friends and have a social life.

Sarah xxx

[Unicorndogge]

hi sarah

so quiet and lonely. i am very desperate to have someone talk to me

[Sophie_M]

Hi Hayley,

We're sorry to read how lonely you're feeling.  It's very courageous of you to post your feelings here :).  If you need to talk to someone please contac us.  We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support.
 

[Unicorndogge]

hi sophie

i dont know how they will help. its pointless reaching out when no one wants you

[Guest_4643]

Hi there Unicorndogge.

I'm actually in the same position as you - same age and everything you described. Ironic huh? My name is Tayla and I'm 20 also.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling and you have no help and friends. I'm exactly the same myself. I don't have anyone online to talk to, or in person. No one wants to know me and speak to me in any way or even visit.

I can't get a job or study, or join groups where I live in a small country town (about 4,000 people) in Regional VIC. I've tried everything believe me. I'm just getting discriminated against with the people here and the professionals who are supposed to be helping me.

I have a great Psychiatrist though and my GP is alright but not as good as my Psychiatrist. That was what decided me to join these forums so I'm new to these also, because I wanted to try and talk to people and try to support them and vice versa.

Everyone is different, but I can suggest some things that I do, you don't have to try them, that's completely up to you. Here are some things I do. They don't really work for me much because everyone's different but here's a list if you'd like:

• Walk my dog, I like going on long walks depending on the weather. I enjoy looking at the scenery and taking it in and looking at the bird life. I don't talk to anyone if I see anyone though because no one wants to chat and I have bad social anxiety (which is surprising why I'm on here).
• Colour in with colouring books and do that over a period of time (could be a few hours, few days, whatever). I also use a free colour by numbers app on my iPad called Happy Colour, that's fun, relaxing and addictive. You get rewards on there too, for example colour 5 pictures.
• Writing can help sometimes. Write whatever you're feeling, a story, poetry, anything at all. Whatever your interests are and whatever you feel like. You can even crumble the note up and throw it away and try to let those feelings go, as some say. Or a diary perhaps for only you to read?
• Make a self care box. Put in things that you like and you turn to in times of need. Some examples would be Hot Chocolate & Marshmallows or whatever drink you like, movies, colouring books, snacks, fidget toys, whatever you like! You can even decorate it and have fun with it.
• Sometimes art can help, I'm not much of an arty person though. Throwing paint at a canvas, drawing, sketching, tracing stuff, whatever you like.
• Maybe get a punching bag for exercise and to vent your anger or hit a pillow.

Tayla x

[Aaronsis]

Thank you Hayley for making me understand what part you are missing the most. I can hear how sad you are and that you so very badly want someone to talk to and someone to have your company and to be your friend.

I want you to be happy and to have some things to do in the day as I think that staying at home all day is really not helpful to your mental health and I think you would agree with that too. I understand that you are in a tourist area and that you said that there was not much to do in regards to volunteering. What about some sporting things that you could join? Does that sound like something that might interest you?

I am here to chat with you Hayley and I know it is not in person but I am here and I care.

Hugs

Sarah

[Unicorndogge]

hi tayla

thankyou for answering and making me feel like i am not the only one

i guess theres no harm in trying things but i just feel like its the end for me

thankyou for your concerns

hayley