I so lonely 😭 and I am tired of this

[Unicorndogge]

I don’t know how to start this but I am sick and tired of having no one to talk to and nothing to do. I sit at home and just do written jobs. No one even cares if I sit on my own all day.I have tried to talk to people that i went to school with but none of them have even showed any interest, I am so desperate. I cry myself to sleep most nights I can’t sleep because what’s the point. I am good at nothing which makes me un- useful. None of this youth groups can help me and my consular doesn’t know how to help either. I am so scared of what I have become, 20 and I have no friends or job even worse no one likes me. I just think what is the point of living when there is nothing to live for, this is cruel world. If anyone is reading this I am not forcing you to answer but if you do Thankyou very much.

[Unicorndogge]

Hi everyone

I went out to the beach with my dad and his girlfriend today and it was the worst decision I made, obviously my dads girlfriend hates me all we do is argue. She called me something really bad. I hate her, for the three years she has stayed at our place she thinks she knows me. I hate this country there is nothing here for me, no one can help me and everything seems to be my fault. I know that there is nothing I can do. But I am so angry at everyone that has disappointed me.

hayley

[Guest_4643]

Hey Hayley.

I'm so sorry to hear about that. Your Dad's Girlfriend sounds awful, she should respect you since you're his daughter, and you unfortunately have your own things to deal with. Perhaps you could try sitting down with your Dad & explaining to him how you feel, & how she treats you?

I don't see why she would hate you, she sounds awful herself, & that's all her fault, nothing is your fault at all. She just seems like a very bad toxic person if you ask me, I don't know what her problem is. You're a lovely girl inside & out I think, just from talking to you on here. You have a lot of great things to offer, you care about others & are creative, like your profile picture, to name a few. None of what she said to you is true, she just has issues herself & I don't know why.

It's a beautiful country, but sometimes I feel the same way. There's nothing here for me either, in terms of meeting people. I have no family other than my parents, & I have no friends online or in person. I've never had a job & I can't get one, as hard as I've tried. I can't volunteer either. I have my Learners but never driven because of my intense anxiety, I mean I want the freedom & to drive but I'm so scared. I don't concentrate that well as hard as I try. It looks easy to some people but so hard to me.

We haven't disappointed you, so not everyone has. Just sounds like your Dad's Girlfriend does, & I'm so sorry about that. She sounds horrible & I'm sorry you have to put up with her, it's not right.

Love and hugs to you, Sarah, Gadzooks and everyone. I wish I could hug you all and support you all in person, I'm sorry that can't happen. Take care everybody, I hope you're all OK.

Tayla xo

[Unicorndogge]

It’s my fault no one wants me anymore. All I do is ruin everything. I am not good for anything and I am just a waste of space. Everyone forgets about me, if I don’t say anything everyone leave me to rot.

[Guest_4643]

None of that is true Hayley, none of it.

Nothing is your fault, you don't ruin anything. You are good for many things, and you're not a waste of space. We on these forums haven't forgotten about you, and we won't. And no one wants you to "rot" like you said.

None of the bad stuff you say about yourself is true. I know that mental illnesses give you a negative perception of yourself & the world in general but none of it's true. I feel the exact way you do, & worse. I tell myself so many bad things daily.

Just remember that we're always here & we'll do our best to support you. We care & love you, always. Nothing will change that. & you've never done anything wrong, & you won't.

Huge love and hugs to you, Sarah, Gadzooks & others.

Love,

Tayla x

[Unicorndogge]

Hi tayla

i don’t know why I blame myself it’s the other people I reach out to. Yesterday I tried for a whole two hours to get one person to respond to me and nothing they just read my texts couldn’t bother for shit. You think they are nice but there not, to be honest all of them are rude. Even the youth lady just doesn’t reply when there supposed to be helping. I hate everyone for all I know they think it’s funny and I don’t get it what have I done wrong to them? NOTHING i can think of. Just because someone thinks and acts differently society try’s to change you, they want you to be boring. Sorry if I sounded rude but no of this is directed at anyone on these forums it’s the people I know.

hayley

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hayley.

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about all of that. If it makes you feel any better, I know how you feel. I go out of my way to check on people & no one checks on me, not on the forums like you said but just people I know somehow. I just get ignored like I don't exist but they notice everybody else.

Yeah you're right, the Youth Lady should be helping you. Have you tried getting a Psychiatrist and/or Psychologist at all? I know it's not that easy, believe me. But it could be worth looking into, if you're up to it. Just do your research - look at their qualifications, what they specialise in, stuff like that. There's also ones like what I do with my Psychiatrist on Skype so you can do it at home rather than travelling to see someone.

Have you tried Lifeline or SANE or anything at all? They have webchats, more info on their websites. They're helpful.

We're here for you.

Love & hugs,

Tayla x

[Unicorndogge]

Hi tayla

thanks for being here

 No one can help me, there is nothing for me and I tried really hard to get someone to talk to me. I don’t know what I have done wrong, I was so desperate that is all. No one was answering me. I think it’s there fault but at the same time I am not sure. It’s my personality, I am opinionated, I am loud, I am not any helper but I do try but that’s not me. I am not allowed to be me. Even though people stay for a little bit they eventually go and I can see that, they don’t like people like me or want to be seen with them. Lifeline doesn’t work already tried them and all they did was force stuff on me. SANE I haven’t yet

hayley

[Aaronsis]

Hi Hayley and a hello to you too Tayla

I hope today brings something great for you both, something to make you smile, you are both so wonderful and the way that you support each other is so admirable. It is not easy this whole mental health thing, it really is a beast. You both are fighting and it makes me so proud that you are.

I have been chatting to another person today and hope that they post on the thread below as there are so many young folks that are struggling with just making friends and with having someone to share the day with and even some good news or whatever. Just a place to meet and make some friends, I hope you both will consider posting to reach out and make some more friends as you are both so deserving.

Here is the thread again and I would love for you to post on there:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/-you-gotta-friend-in-us-

Chat some more and huge hugs to you both

Sarah xx

[Guest_4643]

Hi all.

Sorry for not being on the forums. I just have lots on my mind & going through a bit lately. I apologise.

I'm thinking of you all & I still care.

Love & hugs to everyone,

Tayla

[Unicorndogge]

hi everyone

i hope you guys are doing okay

i cant help myself anymore, so i have just decided to go along with what my dads gf wants for me. the youth group has told her i have been abusing them so i guess its best not to think about it anymore, after all it upsets me more trying then coming to a dead stop disappointment. i wish i had more confidence to just go out and look for another solution. i am just going to think about what i enjoy, i want to get those things back in my life so i can be happier. if people cant accept who i am then i don't know what will. my dads gf has set up a support worker for me which i am going to meet on Tuesday, at least it will be better then being alone for the least of my life even though it is fake.

hayley