I so lonely 😭 and I am tired of this

[Unicorndogge]

I don’t know how to start this but I am sick and tired of having no one to talk to and nothing to do. I sit at home and just do written jobs. No one even cares if I sit on my own all day.I have tried to talk to people that i went to school with but none of them have even showed any interest, I am so desperate. I cry myself to sleep most nights I can’t sleep because what’s the point. I am good at nothing which makes me un- useful. None of this youth groups can help me and my consular doesn’t know how to help either. I am so scared of what I have become, 20 and I have no friends or job even worse no one likes me. I just think what is the point of living when there is nothing to live for, this is cruel world. If anyone is reading this I am not forcing you to answer but if you do Thankyou very much.

[Aaronsis]

Welcome Unicorndoggee, not only am I not forced to answer..I WANT TO ANSWER..you matter so very much and I can hear how sad and over it you are. We care so very much here and want to support you and to help you through this time.

It is so great that you have found this space to come and to get some help. This is a really safe space so please feel free to share as much as you feel comfortable to.

I am so sorry that you have not found the counsellor helpful, can I suggest though just as we don't get along with everyone in life, cousellors are people too and it takes sometimes a few to make the connection and therefore get the help that we need at the time.

I really love your profile pic..did you draw that? If so, there is something you are good at as that is a really great pic.

Life is a really hard place to be sometimes and it does seem so unfair and very cruel, however I think with some support you can see a brighter tomorrow and that this is a time in your life and does not have to be the rest of your life.

I will sit with you and be your friend and talk, about anything you like.

Huge hugs to you, please stay safe and if you are not safe please call 000 and have an ambulance come, you matter so very much and are so very worth it Unicorndogge.

Sarah xxx

[Unicorndogge]

Thankyou so much for answering😊. And yes I drew that picture it was of my dog lector. It’s just I have waited and waited and nothing has happened, it’s like there’s nothing there for me. 2 years almost 3 now and not one significant thing has happened, why wait any longer I am getting older and older. I hate this time of of year it just makes me think of what I could of done if I hadn’t wasted all this time trying with no outcome and then birthday is coming up yay I am turning 20 and all I can think about is getting old.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Unicorndogge

Great to chat to you some more, and the picture is so very good, there is something that you could do to ease the mind and have a hobbie to enjoy as well. You are very good at it.

I understand the looming old age thing, although I am 45 on Friday so 20 to me seems like a whole life time ago! It is never, never too late to start something new or start anything for that matter. I think I am still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up..I just started Uni doing Mental Health and Psychology online, I am now volunteering for BB, there are so many things that pop up in your life, it is never too late.

Is volunteering something that you might like to try, there are so many organisations out there and you just never know who you might meet or even find a new interest, you may not like it at all and that is apart of the learning.

I hear you say you have waited for so long know and nothing has happened, how would you feel about seeing the GP and chatting to them and putting a plan in place for you. To try to get your journey to wellness started? Sometimes we have to throw ourselves into things to break the cycle and to get life back on track, as scary as that might seem, it might work too. There is a saying that I love and think about it from time to get me back on track "if you always do what you have always done, you always get what you've always got"....sometimes moves me to get myself together.

This time of year is hard, new year, new expectations, a whole new year ahead of nothing, but can I tell you to shut that voice down in your head that says you are not worth it, you so very much are, and you can, you can make small steps each day and choose you and choose happiness.

I am hoping you think that a trip to the GP is a good idea.

Hope to chat to you some more

Sarah xxx

[Unicorndogge]

Hi again

i am not sure what’s around my area. I done volunteering once when I was 16 and liked it but I was living with my nan.Plus I still live with my dad and his girlfriend. I don’t really talk to either of them because they don’t want to talk to me but my dads girlfriend i am really scared of her, she is so tight with me, she has a go at what I wear, when I eat, what I say to her, what I do and that’s my problem I feel I like I can’t do anything coz she will just get angry at me. My confidence is low, also I have autism so that doesn’t help with anything I want to achieve.

I don’t have very good doctor and i don’t think his gonna really help because all the times I have went there to get a new prescription for my medication he thinks there’s nothing wrong with me.

[smallwolf]

Hi Unicorndogge,

Just thought I would pop in to say hello to you.

Read your post and ... What do you want to achieve?

As far as volunteering is concerned, if you do a google search for

volunteering near me

you might find a number of options to follow up on?

I will chat more with you later if thats OK.

Tim

[Aaronsis]

Hey Unicorndogge

That is great to hear that you have tried to do some volunteer work before and that you liked it, there are so many things that are around and sometimes they don't jump out at you to think of. There could be old age homes that you could visit and even do some drawing with the residents, sometimes these people are forgotten and love the company. There could be animal welfare groups or things like that. I can see you like animals so perhaps even at a vet or the likes might have some work that you can do to chip in and fill some time and feel good about you and productive too.

I am so sorry to hear that you don't feel that home is a great place to be and that you struggle with your dad's girlfriend, that is really hard. I hear that you feel like she is really critical of you and that she doesn't support you. I am not sure about how you would feel about chatting to her and asking her why she does speak like that to you, I know this might be confronting but it might help in clearing the air with her and making home more bearable. You could even write her a note to let her know how you are feeling if you cannot manage a conversation?

Huge hugs to you and chat soon

Sarah

[Unicorndogge]

Hi tim and Thankyou for answering☺️

i went and searched up volunteering but there isn’t much. Plus I don’t think I would be that useful anyway I am a horrible person.

what I want is to be like everyone else my age. Have friends, have fun, have a job and maybe eventually get a boyfriend😔 but I am not smart enough for any of those things and no one likes me to start with. I wish I was more likeable.

[Unicorndogge]

Hi Sarah

I don’t know what to do with myself, the truth is I will never be able to be normal because of autism, once people can see that no one wants me. I want to get a job and get out of here but I know that’s never going to happen. My dads girlfriend is always angry at me because we are completely different people we both have opposite opinions and she thinks and treats me like I am 10 years of age. I can’t even be myself around her or anyone, I feel like if I do be myself I just ruin my chances at everything, I really did try though to get her to like me 😔 I bought her nice stuff and I checked on her when she was sad and now she hates me 😭 it hurts. I read what she said to the consular it wasn’t nice. Anyway sorry and thanks for being here.

[smallwolf]

You are not a horrible person, you are struggling with a few things currently. Are there any barriers to you working any of those volunteer jobs? How does autism impact here?

Getting out might provide you with a distraction, meet new people, perhaps friends etc. I am not trying to push you if you are not ready. Perhaps with a plan you could who knows what is possible?

Tim