i need help please

[Jackson1994]

is there anybody there

i need some help i cant cope with this anymore please help

- jackson

[Jackson1994]

I sent all of our family and close friends a message about my brothers birthday coming up, was hoping to have a little thing down at our holiday house like a bonfire and stuff, I thought it would be nice. I included him in the list of people to message incase he was in Melbourne then or you know, he decided to like me or something idk. His message was along the lines of I want nothing to do with you, you should know that, you're mum is a this, a that, didn't raise you right, you're a spoilt brat your step dad pays for everything 😞 all this stuff that really hurt when I all I was trying to was the right thing

[CMF]

Woah, that's really tough to hear. I'm really sorry Jackson that you had to get such an awful message. You mentioned once that he only contacts you when he wants something.. I would block him and try to move on. You keep trying to do the right thing and reach out only to be rejected and put down. Maybe it is time to cut the connection there and move on. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

How are you after that. I know it ruined your weekend, are you dealing with it ok?

I'm really upset to hear about that 😞

[Jackson1994]

Yeah that's so hard, it's like having to face that I'll never have that relationship that I want with him.

Just after my brother died, he came down here for the funeral and stuff, we got along really well then a couple of months later I went up to see him, and it was great, he was trying to tell me I should move up there, I really did think about it, then all of a sudden he just turned. He'll message me every now and then whe he wants something or whatever, like he'll say he's going to be in Melbourne we should meet up or I should go up to see him, but after what he said/did to me after visiting b in QLD, the general concesus is that he is an absolute dick, it's always been that way and will never change. Mum was right, he isn't worth my time.

I want to tell my mum when he said but he said some really nasty things about her and I don't really want to upset her and give her even more to worry about. I'm trying not to think about it but it's so hard. I'm trying to think about good things

[Jackson1994]

It's so tough having to face that the relationship I want with him may never happen. I want to tell Mum what's happened but he said so many horrible things I know it's going to upset her, she doesn't deserve it.

I think tonight I just need a distraction I think

[CMF]

Of course it's tough. I'll never understand it. It's really thoughtful how you want to protect your Mum. I'm sure she knows what he is like anyway.

So no waves happening today. Do you like fishing at all?

[Jackson1994]

Never really been into fishing, you? Although I am anything ocean sort of person, fishing has never really interested me.

The waves were tiny today, my mates and I knew that when we were going out but we didn't except them to be that small! We went out for a paddle anyway, it's good just being in the water, having a chat. Although I didn't realise how cold my toes got when im just sitting in the water, they went numb normally I'm moving around and it's ok haha

[CMF]

I've fished a few times. When I was a teenager and used to go down to my uncles beach house we'd go out on the boat. I fished off piers and in rivers. I don't love it but it was fun. I've caught 1 fish, a little leather jacket that I threw back it wAs so small. I'm ok at casting a rod 😄

Its the fun of going out on a pier at 4am that I would enjoy. All rugged up, thermos with a hot drink, some food.

you went out for a paddle, hehe that's funny.

[Jackson1994]

Yeah I live adventures like that, as much as I love my surfing and the nice warm weather, there is something special about rugging up and heading out in winter.

haha yeah we tried to surf these tiny ones but yeah ended up just going out for a paddle, sat in the water for ages, its calming. There was one or two sets that might of been worth riding but I was busy looking down into the water - it was so clear today, that when I looked up the wave was too close and it was too late.

[CMF]

So it's all about the timing. Yeah salt water is very good for you. It cleanses and gets rid of negativity. If you've been in the ocean you shouldn't shower till the next day. Leave that sea salt on the body overnight.

[Jackson1994]

Yeah you need to give yourself a little time to paddle or you'll just float straight over it (if it's small) or get smashed by it (if it's big), that's why you have to learn to dive under the oncoming waves to avoid waves breaking on your face.

Yeah I had heard something about that. You know you have had a good day in the water when there is sand in every crease of you, there is clusters of salt from the water in your hair and everything you own is wet haha