I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

Quirky....they will probably be doing the same things one day..or worse!  Tell them your brain is a magnificent instrument and thinking so quickly this is the reason...and you are sorry theirs can't keep up with it..   and you will make an effort to it down to accommodate to their slower powers of comprehension.    I don't think you can mix up"thoughts" can you?    aren't your thoughts just that...your thoughts?  Have whichever ones you like, they just "are"......( I may have misunderstood your recent post).......have a good day.

[quirkywords]

Moon I liked your  advice it is positive and reassuring. 

[Moonstruck]

Quirky.....just wish I could give positive and reassuring advice to myself.   I've had so many bad things....losses....in my lifetime....and I can pinpoint my current/recent downfall was the death of my partner.....( yes I know folks, I should be "over it" now)....I have gone right backwards....wake every....I repeat Every ...morning afraid.  Scared of what terrible thing is going to happen to me today.   Night is my only safe place...its dark...(no one can see me)and late (no one is going to contact me). I stay up as long as I can because its the only time of day I can relax that nothing really bad happened to me that day......and I survived it......I hate the sunshine.   I never go to "community events" with stalls, food, music, celebrating something or other, can't think of anything worse.  whenever I have been "happy" or at least content, relaxed, peaceful, any of those positive adjectives.....it has been taken away from me.     I am just existing until I die, preferably invisible but you can't have everything.....

[quirkywords]

Moon I had a card in the shop thst said take my advice I am not using it.

you have been through a lot of physical and emotional I last few years. I don’t think you ever get over the loss of a loved one. 
I wake up wondering why I feel low and will the day improve. It’s been 4 years since the fires and I am nit the same person I was before . I cry a lot , I don’t seem to belong anywhere and I don’t feel I have a place I can not worry.

My grandchildren keep me going but I don’t see them much due to distance and I don’t drive. 
i don’t  have any wise words but I do know your words on the forum here are really appreciated and many here including like your honesty and openness. 

[Croix]

Dear Moon (with a wave to Quirky)~

Grief and apprehension are not time limited things where you 'get over it' in a prescribed time. Hopefully as life continues they do not dominate as much as they did -or that is how it has been for me.

I to really dislike 'community gatherings' and never go and having been brought up in colder  climates  dislike the hot sun.

Nevertheless there are some gatherings I head towards and know I will enjoy. Ballet is one, stage plays another and sometimes tribute bands.

I recently was invited to two, the first being a Blue Brothers tribute, which I thoroughly enjoyed, even going ot the extent of singing some words under my breath (Lee Marvin sounds better than me at full voice:(

The other I did not enjoy, a Queen revival. It was not so much the sight of a portly singer sewn into skin tight whites emulating Freddie Mercury (I did wait to see if the garment would split) but the fact the singers entered the audience and tried to induce people to go on stage and have fun made of them. I suspect it was at least in part to distract from from rather mediocre singing ability..

By dint of a stern glare I was not invited.

It was the intrusion on my privacy I resented. It is quite different being an actor or singer on the  stage, there you show selected portions of your being for others, not something ordinary people often welcome. And wiht skill those slected portions resonate and the performance is a success. as the audience voluntarily reacts

Two similar endeavors wiht totally different results for me.

Quirky

You underwent a huge loss of store, books and way of life -can you now at leat master eBooks? I tend to do so in pairs, the book and then DVD movie versions, and reflect on the differences and their causes.

Croix

Croix

[CMF]

I hear you Moon,

I feel I'm just going through the motions too at times.  

It socks.

Cmf

[Moonstruck]

Croix....no that Mercury revival show doesn't' sound good.  I agree can be very uncomfortable when the performers decide to break the 4th wall....( of course some scripts do call for that and written in by the playwright...usually just in the form of a spoken aside by a character..but not requiring any kind of response or action from the audience member). I can just imagine you going up there and yes, looking like an embarrassed idiot....ie. of course unless you are extremely talented and familiar with Queen yourself..).  It only really works with children's pantomimes where they love insulting the villain and likewise giving advice to the hero or whatever.

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I'd regard breaking the 4th wall as something like Michael Caine's 1966 "Alfie" where he deliberately talks direct to the audience and takes them into his confidence, but obviously as it is a film expects no replies.

Then, as you say, there are those productions like music-hall and pantomime, the most famous dialogue being

"Oh yes he is"

"Oh no he's not"

.... etc

However this lot trampled the wall flat and literally tried to drag people on stage, I guess there  were a few exhibitionists but most looked unhappy.

To add insult to injury they only played the lesser works, no Bohemian Rhapsody, We Will Rock You, Another-one Bites the Dust  etc. I guess fees for the popular ones were too expensive to perform.

Croix (who is waiting for the Amy Winehouse movie ot be released)

[quirkywords]

• Croic
• e book is that kindle is if so, I will never use them I love smell and feel of a book. 

[quirkywords]

I am not a fan of audience participation especially when singled out by a stand up comedian. 

once during a Barry humphhries concert I had to wait uncomfortably for interval because I knew I would be picked on if I left my seat.