I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

Hi Paw Prints....you sound almost the same as me!  I relate completely.  Until I spoke to a close friend who just moved back to my city, a high achieving, still working full time, intelligent, capable woman in all ways.....she described that some of my funny little symptoms she did them too!  Said she found herself wanting to stay home more and making lists, whereas she'd just jump in the car and GO...like I used to.

Lo and behold, would you believe, a few days later, I ran into yet another acquaintance in town, we got chatting, how are you going?that sort of thing?  She is also a successful woman with heaps of confidence.  I told her about my "problem" and to my surprise she produced from her bag, a little piece of paper...."her list". She had even numbered the places and errands in order of importance...till she had ticked them all off!!  I honestly thought it was just me...my anxiety getting worse, something I had to fix in myself.....and these two capable ladies had been going through the same experiences.....so it may not be "just me" after all???

[Moonstruck]

Dear mmMekitty.....I did not know you had a helper, or a cane with eyesight and hearing problems...sorry to hear that.  You sound like such a cheery capable person with always a word of advice or sharing a laugh with your friends on here.   Thank you for sharing with me ...it's good to know I am not alone in these unexpected difficulties of mine...I will keep trying, and make an effort...xxx

[Moonstruck]

Quirky...sorry you have covid.  a friend of mine also had "covid brain" she called it....she explained it as not thinking clearly.  I haven't had covid at all....funny you mentioned going away to see grandkids...that is what I want to do in couple of months for my birthday.  I am panicking about it already and making the lists in my mind.   it all seems so overwhelming, when just a few years ago I did it at drop of a hat...no trouble!!  last year was hard, after all my efforts and anxiety about it....I was getting a lift from home,  going to leave my cat in care, than catch the train.    we had had a flash flood night before and road I needed was cut!  Water over the road.  we literally had to wait in this rural setting, police were there also, making sure no one proceeded through the flood waters....consequently I missed my train and just devastated.    It really knocked me around...horrible!  couldn't think straight at all, didn't even consider changing plans to another day.....just so shocked after all my efforts in getting even that far!    So of course I am scared it will happen again....but I WANT to be with my family for my birthday.   I haven't left my town for ages!!

[Moonstruck]

I am getting worse.  I wake up in the morning and think 'I can't go" It's all too hard, arranging flights, accommodation, times, dates, fitting in with others' work commitments...all too hard. I won't go.  I am not the organised capable person I used to be...can't do it".

But I want to do it.  It's my birthday!  I rang around some places where I've stayed before { family's place just too crowded, so don't stay there) bookings really heavy already....tourism boom must be starting up again.  Didn't think things would be so busy so far before Christmas.  I thought it would be easy.   You may be able to tell by my words here, I am on verge of anxiety ballooning into panic attack.   I am typing faster and faster.    Is it my age that things are getting more difficult to organise?  Or has my partners death got anything to do with it?

I used to do things like this with hardly any notice, or any anxiety.  

2 years ago , before my partner died, I went to visit family in 2 different cities, one after the other.  Flights, dates, everything all came together.  I wasn't a basket case then.   It didn't worry me and all went smoothly.  I want to see my family.  I feel imprisoned here.  I don't know what to do. Please help.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

Firstly lass - stop & breathe.... nice slow breaths... then take a break - go make a cuppa... sit & watch the clouds or just watch the wildlife in your garden... whatever gives your mind a break... be gentle with yourself

You can do this lass... you know you can... you've done it in the past... ok you don't feel you can fly through organising everything like you used to... that is ok... guess what neither can I... you are not alone in finding doing things a struggle... break it down into bite size steps... make a list of what you need to do... do one thing on the list... take a breather between each thing if it helps.... it doesn't all need to be done in one big chunk... do some more tomorrow or the next day...

Every time you tick something off... acknowledge to yourself you did it... a big yayy!!!

You're not doing this alone lass... I'll be sitting with you in spirit...

Hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

moon

I am can relate to you. I was so diasappoin,ended my plans had to change now making another date that I no, Ed 3 hrs train and 3 hrs bus and waiting so 4 days away is 2 days of travel. I have travelled by Mel’s overseas and in Australia but now a trip to see grandchild is so exhausting .I am too tired to travel now  or even make a date I. A months is put off as What if I get sick or the date changes.  I am not much help but you are not alone.

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I can sympathise, it can seem a complicated matter, however now is the time for that cool in-charge persona you have used before to come to the fore. It is simply a list of tasks, the most important being the welfare of your pet.

You are also not alone, there is nothing to stop your son giving oyu a bit of a hand, ringing round -perhaps accommodation.

I'm sure there have been times in the past -perhaps a complicated tournament at very short notice on strange ground, where you have felt the task too great, but I've never heard you refuse, ans always you come though.

I've known you for a long time now, and have no hesitation, you will manage, you are capable. Your worry is less of a stumbling block than it appears at the moment.

When you start your travels there is actually time for enjoyment. True it may not be the Orient Express, but each segment will have something unique.

Don't forget to pack your diary for the dull moments

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix and other wonderful people who support me.....just had to let you know...re my anxiety/panic about travel plans { I'm still not feeling super confident and wake in the morning feeling a bit shaky at the thought)..HOWEVER....I have organised.....flights, accommodation, pet care and checked with son re dates, times etc.  I've actually done it.  Now I think "what have I done? can I carry this through"?

Croix...in case you're wondering what motivated me...well let's see..mmm....I just imagined, visualised, hundreds of people watching me as I made the relevant phone calls and plans....hehehhe.....why didn't I think of that before?

Now please God don't let me get cold feet and stuff it up!   Oh...and what if it rains??

[Moonstruck]

Dear Paws....thanks for your loving and inspiring words.  Just letting you know I broke it down into bits on my list and gradually have ticked them all off!  Can't believe it.  But all the plans and bookings are made...now I just have to show up on the day!!     I am acknowledging myself for doing it this far....and it feels so good to be acknowledging myself for something...even if its something so "everyday and routine" for many people...it's big for me as I haven't been anywhere much at all these past couple of years.....and certainly not out of my own town.   

I have also found out that I am not alone...or going senile or anything to be getting this way....some very intelligent successful high achieving older people I know....are finding the exact same thing and they make lists too....it was good to find out I was not the only one!  Best wishes to you Paws.....

[Moonstruck]

Thank you Quirky....just had to tell you...have ticked off all the travel plans, phone calls etc...about flights, accommodation, pet care, checking with son etc and can't quite believe it...but boy, does it feel good to have achieved it.  I realise it's a small trivial thing to most people....but it was a big thing to me as you know.  Thank you for reminding me I am not alone in this, and I am sending you the very best wishes in your own difficulties...you have been through so much over the last couple of years and still standing strong and with a sense of humour.     

 You are thinking "what if I get sick or date changes?".......with the long term weather forecast in Qld not good for rest of year the last thing I must not do to myself is think "what if it rains"....Best best luck Quirky xxx