I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[CMF]

Moon,

This is a totally random post but there is a woman who has been coming into my local cafe the last few months. She is older than me, looks quite 'arty' and creative, into yoga etc. I could picture her living by the beach, not in tbe suburbs here. Having said that the next suburb down from me a arty and funky. For some reason I think of you when i see her. I imagine that you would look similar to her. I seem to pick up an energy from her, something comforting. I can't quite explain.

[Moonstruck]

Stressless that is fantastic stuff! Gosh i wish I could have some experiences like that....if I get any, they must be of the more subtle kind, not as graphic...but that is amazing! I think you are very fortunate to have been "chosen" to experience them.

CMF...how fascinating that the woman "reminds" you of me. As you know I do live by the beach and yes, into the arts. Don't do yoga, but do Pilates (does that count?). Perhaps it is a way of picking up my "energy" in another human form.....and that you get "comfort" from it. If I were there in person, of course I would try to comfort you when you need it. (Perhaps we all need it, all the time. )

[CMF]

Yes, from the 1st time i saw her i thought of you. Maybe she has been sent to me for a reason, they everyone we encounter is for a reason...

[Peppermintbach]

Hey Moon,

I read your post to CMF (hope you don't mind) and the fact that you're into the arts gives you extra imaginary points in my books. Anyway, I could get easily sidetracked here but I hope you never lose your love of the arts. I tend to get along with creative people 🙂

This is partly because they're usually the ones most tolerant of my ideas and impulsive tendencies- I'm saying this with affection. Let's just say my more conservative friends were/are often not impressed with some of my ideas lol.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Moonstruck]

Good to hear from you Pepper....no, nothing remotely conservative about me...or my tribe in the particular field of the arts in which I dwell, escape, belong, have running through my veins, survive the horror of this world and my "normal" Neighbours....who wrote the book on Conservative!!! (if you get my drift darling!)

I have to tone myself down about 10 notches when dealing with conservatives.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon,

Your comment about having to "tone it down 10 notches" made my day. Something that resonates with me lol. See, I knew there was a reason that I started hanging out on this thread. It's nice to meet a kindred spirit 🙂

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Moonstruck]

Hello Pepper.....re the arts. (perhaps I should put this in the "Creative" thread part of forum...but anyway you may find it interesting.

My mother who died when I was a very young teen and just emerging into the arts/creative field....had her own psych problems obviously when growing up..and always drummed into my 2 siblings and I "not to draw attention to ourselves".

Not to stand out from the crowd, in other words to be "normal, mediocre, conservative". Funny thing is, I turned out to do exactly what she feared all along and warned against - I went into a field where the whole point was to"draw attention to myself, stand out from the crowd, be the centre of attention". if there was an afterlife for my poor terrified mother - I wonder what she thought!!

(I was the only one of my siblings to do so)

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon,

I'm sorry about your mum's passing especially when it was at such a young age. It must have been very difficult...

On another note, you were clearly born to shine. So you're the family "rebel" (I say this affectionately as I've been known to ignore convention) lol. But rebel or not, kudos to you for staying true to yourself and choosing your own path rather than have someone else decide for you. There's that Moon "fighter" spirit 🙂 Keep staying true to yourself...even if you're still figuring her out...just keep that lively spirit alive.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Moonstruck]

Hi Pepper....I know it sounds harsh and cruel but if she had stayed alive and kept trying to stifle me, bury her family in anonymity and never striving or letting their light shine (so they would stay "safe") I would not have forged ahead as quickly as I did. She just could not believe one of her children could actually be gifted in some way. There is quote from the film Hotel Sorrento....."Australia is a country which honours ordinariness".

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon,

No, no, I don't think you sound "harsh and cruel." Not everyone has or had a great relationship with their mothers...you're entitled to your truth about how you feel about your mum.

You must have found her very suffocating, and maybe I'm wrong but perhaps a weight lifted when she passed.

Warm thoughts,

Pepper