I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[quirkywords]

Moon I agree with Paul this thread is gold. I have not read it all so I won't comment just yet but there are some very interesting posts.

I am a people pleaser and a conflict avoider. I always thought being a people pleaser was a good thing until I read articles recently saying it isn't healthy

(Ok so I did comment when I said I wasn'tgoing to-is that being indecisive??

I liked that movie My shoes , and I think it also had Shirley Maclaine. It is funny how a few words can bring back a memory of a movie.

Quirky

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

A Happy Medium

That's truly terrible! “you seem to be displaying signs of triviality.” O.W. 🙂

-C

[Moonstruck]

Why do you keep quoting O.W.at me? Want to make it a contest? Just how familiar are you with Earnest and why?

("ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit - touch it, and the bloom is gone")

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I could be a kid and say you started it:) Actually I quoted Earnest because I really like it, (and because of your terrible pun). No, in a contest I would have to admit defeat, the only other quote I can think of at the moment is about eating buttered muffins, and I'm not sure how I'd make it apply.

I hope you don't mind when I seem frivolous, I'm trying to lift myself by my mental bootstraps.

Croix

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon et al.,

Paul- gosh, thank you. That's high praise from you. I'm not sure if I deserve your compliments but I so appreciate your positive response and encouragement 🙂

Moon- I'm glad my comments resonated with you. I think our formative years as children have an enormous impact to shape us as adults. Clearly, in your case, your childhood of witnessing terrible parental conflict has left a huge mark on you (and understandably so).

No wonder you now do everything in your power to avoid arguments. I mean, in your own words, you even married a man who was the polar opposite of what your parents represented and how they behaved.

I like your "happy medium" comment as I like to think we can voice our opinions, and even disagree with people as long as we do it respectfully.

I believe you're a smart person, and I believe what you're saying about how you could verbally assassinate people if you chose to do it. But returning to your "happy medium" comment, I think you can also stand up for yourself without it turning into something really ugly. Assertiveness right? I like to think that the best way to disagree is to be tactful in delivering a counter argument.

Anyway, I believe you're capable of asserting yourself without it turning into a fistfight (so to speak). Mind you, that happy medium place you speak of will take work and practice but I think it exists.

Correct me if I'm wrong, I get the feeling that there's a voice (and an avalanche of ideas and opinions) waiting to come out of you. I imagine avoiding conflict all these years has meant a lot of bottled emotions and thoughts. I hate to think how much of your own needs have been sidelined in order to avoid conflicts.

Good talk. Thanks for your insight. Sending your warm thoughts.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon et al.,

Moon and quirkywords- many thanks for figuring out which movie I was referring to! Moon, yep, that's it...I completely botched the quote lol. Oops thank you.

Croix- I have no idea where those quotes come from. I can only assume they are by famous poets or writers. But judging from your last post, you're having a hard time and trying to just soldier on. If humour helps then continue with it.

Pepper

[blondguy]

Thanks heaps Moon...appreciate it

Pepper....ta for responding...you do deserve it...that was a great post...accurate and well articulated....Nice1 Pepper

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Croix, I adore your frivolous moods! Who said the quotes had to apply..??

"I cannot eat muffins in an agitated manner - the butter would probably get on my cuffs"

Pepper, Quirky, Paul - thanks for your words, I so appreciate them - Pepper - we are quoting from Oscar Wilde's classic play The Importance of Being Earnest - Croix seems to know it "almost" as well as I do....we are dreadful bores aren't we? We must contain ourselves and show a little restraint!

(Croix, what's wrong...can we help?....) xo

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Thanks for the offer of help - you already do help a lot even if you do not realize it. Mind you as Lady B mentions:

Nor do I in any way approve of the modern sympathy with invalids. I consider it morbid. Illness of any kind is hardly a thing to be encouraged in others

Actually I'm improving, which is why from time to time I 'friv' as it were. For a fair while I had a matter hanging over my head, now it has been resolved and I'm climbing up (takes a while I'm afraid).

Well with the quotes I do think there has to be some connection and buttered muffins defeated me, and no I've never performed (Ernest or other). I found my acting talents relegated me to the lighting/effects booth 😕

Peppermintbach: Please excuse us throwing quotes at each other, its the text equivalent of cream pies, though I probably should confine it to Croix Parler (my thread) or the Café and be more serious here.

BTW does the 'bach' bit represent Welsh, as in little peppermint?

Croix

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Moon et al.,

Thanks Paul 🙂

Moon- oh yes, silly me. I suddenly realised the initials most likely stood for Oscar Wilde after I commented on it. Lol. This is your thread so there's no need to hold back. If O.W. quotes float your boat then that's fantasic!

Croix- I'm glad you're improving from whatever struggle you were going through. By all means, continue with your virtual, um, cream pie chucking contest. Sounds like fun and if it lifts your spirit then why not? Besides, Moon seems up for it 🙂

Lol. To the best of my knowledge, I have no Welsh in my blood. In saying that, it would be pretty fabulous to be Welsh.

It's a silly pun. Peppermint bark (the chocolate) and peppermint Bach (Bach as in the Baroque composer but mispronounced to sound the same as "bark").

I was in a bit of a silly mood. It goes without saying that the correct pronounciation of "Bach" isn't "bark" but "bark" is one of the common mispronounciations 🙂

Sorry Moon about going off topic- hope you don't mind.

Pepper