I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Moonstruck]

I am a bit scared. Just getting my sciatic pain thing bearable enough to cope with - and my (Totally Unrelated) regular routine surgical procedure - just day surgery thing - I used to have once a year, they now want to do more often....is scheduled for this week.

Last time I had it done was December and 4 days later I spent Christmas Day in ED with morphine for lunch - the after effects of recovering that time were horrendous . Previously they'd been minimal and improve over a few days. so I am scared I may have to go through that terrible pain again afterwards!

With this sciatic nerve thing as well, I am scared I will be a huge ball of pain! I've never had to deal with much physical pain before - mental and emotional pain yes.

I realise they are doing the right thing in keeping an eye on my condition regularly to correct anything wrong - and I am grateful to be under their surveillance. But I am still scared.

[quirkywords]

Moonstruck

I am sorry you feel scared. Sciatic nerve pain is really bad. I think it is natural to be scared. Do you find that writing down your feelings helps.

I am new to this thread and relatively new to the forums .

I was sad that your neighbour spoke to you in a unhelpful way. I used to think that people who had been through a similar illness/pain/ condition would be understanding but that is not the case. I try to smile and say I am glad that worked for you and then move on.

I had an elderly relative in his 90s who would tell me that he never got depressed because he chose not to. He was old and nothing I would say would change his mind.

You sound very strong and determined. You have endured a lot and are trying to make things better.

Do you think if you have more information about the surgical procedure it would make you less scared?

I know you have had it before but are you worried you will experience the same pain?

Is there someone you can talk to at the hospital?

Take care

Quirkywords

[Moonstruck]

Thanks so much Quirkywords....yes the neighbour had another comment yesterday. The anti inflammatories have helped and when he saw me go past said chuckling "Got rid of the walking stick I see?".....even though I still have to limp. Would have been nicer I thought, to ask if the pain was any better or something...but there you go.

I strongly suspect his attitude towards depression etc would be the same as your relative's. Needless to say I have never revealed any problems I have with anxiety/depression etc - I have heard him speak disparagingly of a mutual acquaintance who was on the DSP as he could not work because of his condition.

Re the other minor procedure - I am going to outline in detail to the admitting staff just what I experienced last Dec with this same thing...also the surgeon just before I go "under" (just the milder sedating anaethestic that wears off quickly). They don't usually release patients if in extreme pain, having them stay overnight just in case.....so i won't be brave and bluff my way through this time...If I'm in agony and scared to go home I will just say so! Even though I am usually itching to get out of there! thanks again for taking the time to write.....Moon S

[CMF]

Dear Moon,

Sorry you are in pain and nervous about the upcoming procedure. i hope your recovery is better. Do they know why you had such a painful recovery last time? Regarding your neighbour, he could at least ask if you are feeling better bt he sounds like he has his own issues, don't take it personally, the problem is with now that you him.

Do you have anyone to help you around the house since you are in pain? Or eve to cook some nice meals so you can rest up a little?

cmf x

[Guest_322]

Hi Moon,

Sorry, I haven't replied in a little while. I agree with what everyone else has said about Grumpy Neighbour's cold comments and snide asides most likely being a reflection of his own issues. In saying that, it can still be hard not to feel affected by his comments.

I'm glad the meds are helping. It all still sounds very painful. Hopefully you're not in agony post surgery but I suppose sometimes pain trumps your desire to quickly leave hospital. Cringes at the thought of how painful this might be for you...

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi again,

Forgot to say thank you for the quote the other day, Moon 😊

Dottie xxx

[Moonstruck]

Morning all

I have to go into the hospital soon....the sun isn't quite up yet. I feel quite helpless in their hands - like a rag doll that's been tossed around a football field, trod on, prodded, shaken and thrown into the air - to land who knows where? Who is going to pick me up,tend to my cuts and bruises, soothe my ravaged brow and read gentle inspirational poetry to me in a quiet voice? Who does this, when there is no-one? When I am alone?

[CMF]

Moon,

we are here to support you. I know it's not the same as aging someone physically there but are here thinking of you and hoping it isn't too bad. I'm holding your hand Moon, I'm squeezing it tight so you know I'm here. I'm sending you hugs and hope all goes well and you're recovery is good.

cmf xxx

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Who can tend to your needs the best?Yourself!

You don't need anyone else, in fact you can't depend on anyone else. There are so many in 'relationships' who are in the same boat as you. I'd sooner rely on myself than hope for care and understanding from someone who is incapable of giving it. Much better. You won't be disappointed and left with a broken heart to boot.

You can depend on yourself. You can do it. It won't be long and you'll be telling us how it all went (please)

And we are with you in spirit.

Lee xxooooo

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I hope your hospital visit is heaps better than you expect.

On another matter I remember some time ago you mentioned the opportunities for bowling might be a little limited at times -not that many local tournaments I guess.

Have you ever considered harnessing your wealth of bowling experience and giving lessons or coaching? There must be many eager to get into that pass-time who might like a helping hand.

Just a thought

Croix (who has now had his thought for the day)