how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Not much cooking for Christmas..just a glazed ham and a duck....WOW..that sounds like cooking to me!!! I have a ham that I was just going to slice and do a cold meat platter but I feel like I want to do a glazed ham and have it hot...what are the chances of me stuffing it up tho????

Not good news about your surgery and that you have to wait until next year, although in saying that, maybe it is a good thing in that next year is going to be great and a whole fresh start and filled with new possibilities and new goals ....it just has to be better than this year.

So sorry to hear that you are having nightmares Mark, that is really tough. I know how frightening and how emotional they leave you so I am not at all happy to hear you are experiencing this. I was starting to have them more often before I did the hypnotherapy sessions and they were very real and very heart wrenching but I am pleased to say that they have stopped now. I am not really even sure what I can offer to help you through that as how do you manage something when you are asleep? You have to really deal with it in the "real world" and hopefully your doctor can help you in this space Mark as nightmares are just horrendous.

I am not sure what Christmas day is going to look like for me and if my dad will make it here, he is in NSW as you know and I am not sure what we are doing with the borders...either way I will make the best of the day that I can but it would be so wonderful to have him with us for this time.

Well I am off to have some lunch and think about what I can get my son for his Christmas present, he is so hard to buy for.

Hugs to you and hope you are doing well today xx

Your friend

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I was thinking of you with the latest cases on NSW and how that would effect your Christmas plans .Can't be complacent or take any thing for granted today.Thats why I haven't made any real plans for the holidays for the kids.
My nightmares have seemed to stop for the moment probably to something else triggers them.I am just so tired and not feeling the best these days .
I cooked the glazed ham yesterday and it turned out perfect.Its easy to do and know yours would be just as good.I will cook the roast duck tomorrow after I come back from taking the kids to there physio appointment.And then the kids go home Thursday morning to their mothers for a few days.I bought my son a laptop and my daughter a fish tank as their main presents.I hope you found your son something nice.
I think it will be a day of a lot of crying from me spending the day alone .I am just getting overwhelmed with everything.One thing I had was my mum to talk to when I had no one else to talk to.I haven't heard from my brother in months since the start of the pandemic here.I tried ringing in before I went into surgery but he never rung back.You think a man of God would have some compassion for his sick brother.Thats a reason the church has lost me.
Take care,
Your friend,
Mark

[Aaronsis]

Merry Christmas my friend.

I hope today you have been able to do some things that bring joy to you and something to make your day enjoyable.

I understand that it will be a hard day for you so wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and that I care.

Merry Christmas Mark.

Hugs

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I got through the day ok like I do every year.A bit of a ride this morning and some time to reflect on my mother's life.Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.I hope you are doing ok and had a good day.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Hi all,I just saw something on my Facebook that upset me and while I was looking at it my ex text me and said did I see that on Facebook.Now I just feel even worst with her rubbing it in.I just been having a cry.I just seem to get upset so easily and always have and my ex knows this to.Does anyone else like this and have any coping strategies.Everyone is welcome on here.
Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

I am so sorry that you have been feeling down and that Facebook has been the cause of some of your pain. That is the hard part about social media in that it does serve you things and sometimes things you don't really want or need to see.

It is hard to cope when you do feel so down and you feel like every day is just the repeat of yesterday and that things are not looking up. This is perhaps time to start to do some research on finding some new things that may strike an interest for you. Maybe even something you have always wanted to do or maybe even something you never thought you would do....but something to get your mind active in looking and then something to bring hope and something to look forward to. I was thinking, you love gardening so much, is there a community garden anywhere near you that you could be apart of? That way you could meet some new people as well as do something you love?

I hope that the kids are well and that they are having some good days on their school holidays.

I had to do the mad dash over the New Years period from NSW to VIC as I was camping on my dad's property on the Snowy. We were really disappointed to have to come home early but hey..is what it is!

The rose on your profile pic is stunning, you really are so very clever!

Well I have to head into work this afternoon to deal with some drama..sigh..but will be back later for a chat.

Hugs to you as always my friend and hope you are well.

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I was wondering if you went to your dad's in the Snowy Mountains.At least you managed to get a little break and the Snowy Mountains look absolutely beautiful what I have seen on tv,not sure what your dad' property looks like.

I am really struggling with school holidays as well as my health so it has been hard for me.I have the kids to friday then I can have a little break.

I was thinking of getting another motorbike on the road.One I restored a few years ago and needs a couple of things done to it before I register it.It is just a matter of finding the energy to do it.I know once I have had surgery I will be out of action for awhile.

There use to be a community garden near where I use to live 2 hours from here.I use to go and have a look all the time at it.It was on my walking route on the creek.Unfortunately nothing here like that out in the sticks here.

Ttomorrow I have to take the kids to their physio appointment in town and then to lunch.I still haven' got to the waterfall yet and my son wants to go fishing somewhere.I don't know where yet.

I hope you sort out the drama at work.Something to keep you on your toes.Facebook is full of negativity even in the group of my favourite show all their is wingers full of hate for what is suppose to be their favourite show.Their are now groups for the show for people who actually love the show and no hatred is allowed and they have been so refreshing to be able to comment and know your not going to get abused for liking the new cast and the direction the show has gone in.

Take care,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Hi I feel a bit flat after talking to my ex telling me her sister who works in a bank can look up anyone's bank details from any bank and has looked up mind so my ex knows how much I have and what I probably spend my money on.I just feel very upset about it that I don't have any privacy in my life.Thats the modern world for you.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

That is really unprofessional if she is looking up your banking details and your account, infact I would question whether it is even legal, without reason for her to be looking/discussing your financial affairs. I can understand that you would feel really flat and upset about that, it is not good at all and I would even be considering switching banks, that is an absolute violation of privacy.

I did get to go to my dad's for the New Year break but we had to do a mad dash home to be here in time for when they closed the borders...it cut our trip short but we were not the only ones, so many people had their holiday cut short this year. We had to get a test and isolate until we got a negative result, as we were so far out and in the middle of nowhere we did not have to stay isolated for 14 days which was great.

I think another project of doing another bike would be awesome for you, just the thing to keep you busy and to keep your mind occupied, as well as the enjoyment you will get from doing that and then seeing the final product when you have finished and having pride in the work you have done...I say go for it!

Being back at work is good, getting back into routine and getting the year started. Not too many dramas to speak of yet, but there is still plenty of time for that..lol

Hope you have a great day my friend

Chat really soon

Hugs as always

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I am just really tired these days which makes me more depressed .I have been fighting for so long.I gave my ex my car as she needs a new one and only have a bike for transport at the moment. Tomorrow I am going to have a look at a bike for restoration project.Not sure what it is like at all but I will find out tomorrow.Getting ready to put another shed up so I have somewhere to do it.
Nervous with school going back at the end of the month.Hopefully all goes well with the kids this year and no interruptions with covid19 especially with my daughter in her final year.Nice if she can have a formal.
Take care,
Mark