how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Matchy69]

Yes i have rung lifeline a few times but felt they couldnt wait to get off the phone quick enough.They put you on hold before you talk to anyone,not really good.I really dont want talk to a stranger on the phone,its hard especially for me and my anxiety.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

I hear you in that talking to a person is sometimes better but for you not so much, that is fine, I just thought it might be helpful to you. It is such a hard time of year with new starts and new expectations, but in reality it is just another day, just another bunch of days just joined up to make a new year, so we should not put expectations that there is going to be a whole new time of amazing things that just may not happen...

Do you have anything planned for today that may bring you some small bit of joy?

Hugs

Sarah

[Matchy69]

I took the kids to the Doctors today and my daughter might have some major health problems

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Oh no, are you ok? I hope that these issues can be managed and that the doctors have given you some support and some information on how to move forward and how you can help your daughter.

If you want to share some more I will be here to chat, if not that is totally fine too. You are such a great dad and I know that you are going through such a tough time at the moment and it breaks my heart to hear you so very very sad and defeated.

Huge hugs to you Mark as always

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah,The news from the doctor is scarey.I took her to the Doctors to have a couple of moles looked out and couple of other things.The doctor took one look and said we should refer her to a specialist as moles on your feet can be a melanoma so it wrote a referral to a specialist to see her urgently.They faxed it through and contacted my ex who is arranging appointment for her.I dont know when it is.

I feel like a bad parent as i never even noticed moles on her foot.She has one on her heal and one near her big toe.Her garndmother noticed them when she was staying with them and told my ex to have them checked at.So my ex tells me to take her to the doctors to get some moles checked at.

I could do with a real hug right now,this is where i miss my friend,i just want to hug her but i have no way of contacting her again.Your the only who talks to me and i appreciate it so much Sarah.

[Aaronsis]

I am always here for you Mark.

Well I am not sure if you remember me saying this but I work for a sunscreen company, among other skin care products, we are in very close relationship with the melanoma institute.

I can tell you with early detection and with removal these moles turn out to be just that, a mole...that melanoma especially in children is less likely than in adults. You have taken her to her doctor and now you have a referral, I am feeling very positive that when they test these moles you will have some great reassurance and some comfort.

You are a great dad Mark and I am just so sorry that you are suffering and in so much pain. I wish i had that wand to make things different for you I really do.

Looking forward to hearing the outcome of the specialist appointment.

Hugs

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Sarah,I am very scared and worried as many years ago i lost a really close friend to a melanoma.She was 30.When she told me i wasnt worried at all and she told me i was .I was young and had just lost my father to lung cancer when i met her.I lost so many people i care about to cancer.

The doctors actually words on the referral was "I am worried this could be a Melanoma thus i would like her to be seen urgently"

This really does scare you as a parent.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I totally understand why you are feeling terrified with this news and what you saw on the referral. Seeing you have had these experiences in the past it is totally understandable that you would be scared and worried and yes, parenting is painful and hard and you do worry so very much, it is a bloody hard job.

I hear how much a hug would mean to you right now and I am sending you one or two or as many as you need to get through this Mark.

Do you have a date for the specialist?

Hugs

Sarah

[Matchy69]

I jusy realized it would have been my friend who passed away from a melanoma 54th birthday.She has been gone so long now.

I didnt have a good night last night as my son was up most of the night.I had no sleep and i am so tired.

[Matchy69]

I feel like crap now as my ex came over to pick my daughter up to take to the movies but i forgot to give her her medication so my ex abused me and made me cry.It was ok for my ex to forget to bring their mediction when she dropped them off last week but when i forget something i am made to feel like total crap.